posted by CenterBHSFan
I don't have "in-laws" per say, but my dude's family are some of the kindest, most considerate people I know. Likewise, my family always tries to go out of their way to make him feel welcome and part of the family. I'm very fortunate in this.
Maybe have some sort of family meeting and bring things up, with the intention on how best to solve any supposed issues without being confrontational? I don't know if something like that will ever fly in your situation, though. People have the habit of taking everything as a personal affront.
It wouldn't matter. She's oblivious to everything. She might listen and agree with us, then the next night she'll go the opposite way and go off on my wife and threaten to move away and leave her husband of 40+ years (she actually has done this about a half dozen times). The first time it scared me and I fell into the hype. Every time after I just roll my eyes and wish she would actually do it.
My wife and I are in a bit of a rough patch. We actually approached our parents a few months ago asking for advice, and my mother in law looked me in the eye and told me she believed in us and hoped we'd work it out. A few weeks later my wife saw messages on her phone to her friends saying my wife was making a big mistake and was stupid for being with me.
I think my all time favorite memory was on our 4th anniversay, our daughter went to spend the night with my parents who live about an hour away and see the kids maybe once a week (as opposed to my in-laws who, in typical smothering fashion, live a few minutes away). When my MIL found out our daughter went there instead of her house, she spent the night blowing up my wife's phone with nasty messages, trying to guilt her, making fun of my parents. And that's how she treated us on our anniversay that year.