What would you think and do? Should I be pissed.

• thavoice

  I left for a run last night around 6:20 or so.
  
  Run a few miles, stopped at the track for a bit for intervals, stopped at the park to talk to the pool manager. He was my old baseball coach and hadnt talked to me since I got back last winter.
  
  I get home around 720 or so.
  
  Night went on as normal.
  
  
  Today at work I got to take a crap and I am looking through my phone and notice that in the missed calls that I had a number I did not recall.
  
  It came in after I had left. Voice mail indicator was not on at all. I then notice that in the call log that someone used my phone to call my voice mail, again, while I was gone, for 90 seconds.
  
  Obviously to check the voice mail. I check the message and it was for me to call my other place of employment.
  
  I also notice today that a text message I got while I was gone was read. I didnt even know I had a text while I was gone as when I get home, and when the whole family is home, I turn my phone off.
  
  I text the wife about it this morning. She swears she and the k ids were not home at 7pm when the call was made to check the voice mail.
  
  What is more likely?
  1. Someone came into our house while I was gone and checked my voice mail while the family was gone.
  2. The wife was curious whom had called (was a number that was not in my address book) and checked the voicemail. She couldnt tell me about having to call the unit so left the voicemail there for me to hear.
  
  Mind you....we dont have people who just pop in at our place so it isnt like someone we know stopped in and we werent home and did this.
  
  So......did I catch her in a lie?
• Con_Alma

  Probably. If so it wasn't the first and won't be the last. Getting pissed doesn't make the situation better.
  
  Be calm. Share with her your concerns and thoughts. If you can't communicate with her openly who can you?
• O-Trap

  

  The third option could be that a child did so. They were likely home at 7, though.
  
  I wouldn't jump the gun and call her out without ensuring that it wasn't the kids.
• THE4RINGZ

  

  More than likely.
• Scooter1369

  

  She's busted. Anyone who came into your house would have left with the phone.
• vball10set

  tough call, voice, but it's more likely to be #2 than #1...maybe she got to the phone too late to answer it, didn't recognize the number, so she checked your voice mail to see if it was an urgent call that needed your attention right away?
• bigkahuna

  Con_Alma;844326 wrote:Probably. If so it wasn't the first and won't be the last. Getting pissed doesn't make the situation better.
  
  Be calm. Share with her your concerns and thoughts. If you can't communicate with her openly who can you?

  
  This.
  
  I wouldn't get pissed, but I'd be a little bit of a jerk about it. For instance, "Oh, if you didn't do it, then it must have been the smurfs." or something stupid, you know what I mean.
• Heretic

  

  There are ways to solve this problem.
  
  
• gerb131

  

  I always take my phone I never leave it anywhere where prying eyes could see.
• Scooter1369

  

  a true test of a relationship. Trade phones for a week.
• thavoice

  O-Trap;844328 wrote:The third option could be that a child did so. They were likely home at 7, though.
  
  I wouldn't jump the gun and call her out without ensuring that it wasn't the kids.

  
  About a .000007 percent chance of that. The two boys were outside playing baseball. The girl, well, she is so glued to her own phone and ipod and computer that she is oblivous to anything else.
  
  It is the wife who questions me all the time about it. Even though I turn my phone off when I am home and she does 3X the texting as me I get teh third degree if I ever get a text or call.
  
  99,99999999999999 percent sure it is her. She is busted. She says she has no idea how to even check the voicemail, which is BS as its the same way as it is on her phone.
  
  She isnt getting aggravated at me that I insinuated that she checked it...I would think if she really didnt then she would be offended and mad that I even suspected her.
• gerb131

  

  Scooter1369;844342 wrote:a true test of a relationship. Trade phones for a week.

  Hell no.
• thavoice

  vball10set;844333 wrote:tough call, voice, but it's more likely to be #2 than #1...maybe she got to the phone too late to answer it, didn't recognize the number, so she checked your voice mail to see if it was an urgent call that needed your attention right away?

  
  Possible.
  
  But if that was the case, why not tell me the message? It was from my other job and she knows that any call from them is EXTREMELY important as I am awaiting possible orders.
• Con_Alma

  Scooter1369;844342 wrote:a true test of a relationship. Trade phones for a week.

  I would have no problem with that if I had a phone. Do people really hide things from their spouse?
• bigkahuna

  vball10set;844333 wrote:tough call, voice, but it's more likely to be #2 than #1...maybe she got to the phone too late to answer it, didn't recognize the number, so she checked your voice mail to see if it was an urgent call that needed your attention right away?

  
  Then why lie about it?
• thavoice

  gerb131;844339 wrote:I always take my phone I never leave it anywhere where prying eyes could see.

  
  I have nothing to hide. I am not taking it for a run. I am 100% a believer that we all need to untether ourselves each day from our phones. There are very few people who NEED to have their phone on their person 100% of the time.
  
  I was running, and I routinely dont take my phone all the time with me.
• thavoice

  Scooter1369;844342 wrote:a true test of a relationship. Trade phones for a week.

  
  I wouldnt mind it. I have nothing to hide. 99% text I get is from the wife. The other 1% is usually from a friend about the steelers or reds or something sports related.
• Con_Alma

  Good for you thevoice. Sounds like you have a good perspective.
• Scarlet_Buckeye

  

  Your bigger problem here is not her checking your phone it's her flat out LYING to you after the fact!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  HUGE problem. If she's lying to you about that, what else has she lied to you about in the past/future. That's the issue that needs addressed and corrected like now!
  
  So, yes you should be pissed and as well as concerned about this "problem".
  
  Addendum: What I would do if I were you in the future when you go running is to put your phone on vibrate so the ringer won't sound and then tuck it away in a drawer or something somewhere. That way you will see your missed calls when you return. Put it back on ring then. (ALBEIT you should NOT have to do this in a married relationship).
• gerb131

  

  I agree about leaving the phone or technology alone for a few hrs a day. I've been trying to do this. All I am saying is that if my phone is ringing than they must not need to talk to you or they would have called you. The b.s. about oh it could be an important phone call is just a smokescreen. I dont even like to go through my womans purse even if she tells me to. I'm just a private person I guess.
• vball10set

  bigkahuna;844357 wrote:Then why lie about it?

  
  why do women lie about anything?
• vball10set

  Scarlet_Buckeye;844366 wrote: ALBEIT you should NOT have to do this in a married relationship

  
  says it all
• thavoice

  Scarlet_Buckeye;844366 wrote:Your bigger problem here is not her checking your phone it's her flat out LYING to you after the fact!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  HUGE problem. If she's lying to you about that, what else has she lied to you about in the past/future. That's the issue that needs addressed and corrected like now!
  
  So, yes you should be pissed and as well as concerned about this "problem".
  
  Addendum: What I would do if I were you in the future when you go running is to put your phone on vibrate so the ringer won't sound and then hide it somewhere. That way you will see your missed calls when you return. Put it back on ring then. (ALBEIT you should NOT have to do this in a married relationship).

  GOod idea, but ya see, that wreaks of hiding something though.
  
  One thing that has me is this...........she says they were not home. So..SOMEONE had to do it and not once has she brought up about someone possibly coming into our house, or shown any 'fear' or concern that someone was in the house while we were gone.
  
  
  I have grown up believing that those who are accuse or worry or are always suspicious when there is no reason do so because either they are guilty of it themselves, or the feel vulnerable that they would do that themselves.
• Fab1b

  

  gerb131;844373 wrote:I agree about leaving the phone or technology alone for a few hrs a day. I've been trying to do this. All I am saying is that if my phone is ringing than they must not need to talk to you or they would have called you. The b.s. about oh it could be an important phone call is just a smokescreen. I dont even like to go through my womans purse even if she tells me to. I'm just a private person I guess.

  
  Agree
• Con_Alma

  Scarlet_Buckeye;844366 wrote:... (ALBEIT you should NOT have to do this in a married relationship).

  Indeed. I wouldn't do it in a married relationship.