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Advice requested on 24m dating 17f

  • Apple
    Got home this morning and found my 17 year old daughter asleep in bed with her 24 yo bf.

    They've been "seeing" each other for a while and the ex has no problems with him spending the night at her place. I do not condone him spending the night at my house.

    Before he left, I pulled him aside and talked to him about what I thought about his relationship with my daughter. When he denied he was having sex with her I about threw a gasket, but I held my composure.

    I "suggested" that he needs to be dating girls his own age, not teenage girls. I also told him I wasn't a fool and that I know what it's like to be his age.

    My daughter is attractive and has a good head on her shoulders, has graduated HS early and has a job while my ex and I continue to have shared parenting with her. This was the weekend she was to be at her mom's and she knew she was not to be at my house this morning/last night (while she knew I was away).

    I understand his attraction to her, but just think given the age differentiation, it's not a good relationship. I told him that there is a time and place for everything, it's just that now is not the time and my house is definitely NOT the place.

    My daughter and I have a good relationship given our living circumstances and she is growing more mature. My fear is this incident will put a strain on our relationship. Eventually, she will hopefully understand the way I feel.

    I want to trust her and I have confidence she knows the right thing to do. My concern is that this 24 yo man-boy is influencing her the wrong way.

    Comments?
  • tuskytuffguy
    I would have beat the shit out of him on the spot upon walking into that scene. I don't believe in parents letting bf/gf stay over the night at all.

    Before I get slammed for the beating part, consider I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. I have a 23 yr old stepson, and if he was fooling around with a 17 yr old girl, yeah, I'd curbstomp his ass.

    Out of school early or not, a 17 yr old is still not a legal adult, and will go by my rules. Even after one turns 18, they will live by my rules as long as they're under my roof.
  • Apple
    tuskytuffguy wrote: I would have beat the shit out of him on the spot upon walking into that scene. I don't believe in parents letting bf/gf stay over the night at all.

    Before I get slammed for the beating part, consider I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. I have a 23 yr old stepson, and if he was fooling around with a 17 yr old girl, yeah, I'd curbstomp his ass.

    Out of school early or not, a 17 yr old is still not a legal adult, and will go by my rules. Even after one turns 18, they will live by my rules as long as they're under my roof.
    I agree with what you say, except I am not the "violent" type, per se, and I doubt kicking his ass would do much good. My 20 yo son, who can't stand the guy, would have no qualms with beating the shit out of him... a whole 'nuther story...

    I just don't want to "lose" my daughter. It's tough trying to convince a girl her age that dad knows best without her drawing away.
  • Nate
    You don't scare me old man. I'll be staying there tonight also!

    Kidding of course...


    I wouldn't condone it either. 24 and 17 are way too far apart mentally, even if she is ahead of the game for her age. I would definitely have a sit down with your daughter. Lay some ground rules down as if she was 17, not a 17 year old of school (she'll assume she's an adult). I wouldn't tell her she shouldn't be dating him but set some grounds rules that could make it difficult for the 24 y/o to understand. (curfew, no visiting her bedroom at your house, must leave by a certain time when he is over, etc..) A 24 y/o guy is not going to put up with parents BS unless he is truly in love with her. Put him to the test with some ground rules for her and show them who is boss still. If your daughter doesn't understand, which she probably won't because she is a 17 y/o female, stand firm with your rules (curfew, etc..). Don't get angry with her. Talk with her in a civil tone and explain that it has nothing to do with him, its the fact that you would like a little respect in your own home when it comes to these things. Tell her the rules are short term, if they abide by them, curfew can be extended, his stay time can be extended, etc... I think if she is as levelheaded as she sounds, she should respect what you have to say and abide by it.
  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    hater
  • wes_mantooth
    The problem is that no matter what, if she wants to see him....she will see him. You just have to trust your kids to make good decisions....especially at that age.
  • sportswizuhrd
    wes_mantooth wrote: The problem is that no matter what, if she wants to see him....she will see him. You just have to trust your kids to make good decisions....especially at that age.
    Have you met Rose's parents yet?
  • sleeper
    The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
  • wes_mantooth
    sportswizuhrd wrote:
    wes_mantooth wrote: The problem is that no matter what, if she wants to see him....she will see him. You just have to trust your kids to make good decisions....especially at that age.
    Have you met Rose's parents yet?
    Nope, but she caught me with her twin sister recently!!!
  • Apple
    Zwick- Shouldn't you be about in number 8 tee box by now? ...you know 17 was way out of your league by the time you were 24!

    Keebler... great advice. My daughter and I have always had a really good relationship and I honestly can't wait for when we deal with each other on adult terms. Thing is, she is still young. I respect her maturity and celebrate her achievements. She does, however, push the envelope, as I know I did at her age.

    Setting limits on what is permissible/accepted behavior will definitely happen, for her and the BF.
  • queencitybuckeye
    A 17 year old of mine does not have a 24 year old boyfriend. Period. No discussion.
  • Apple
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
  • Apple
    queencitybuckeye wrote: A 17 year old of mine does not have a 24 year old boyfriend. Period. No discussion.
    I TOTALLY agree.... the exception is, you do not have mine as your ex-wife.
  • sleeper
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
    Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when I pull out a wad of 100's and tell her "have whatever you'd like". The only thing she'll be chewing and spitting is my dick and cum respectively, and you can take that to the bank.
  • Nate
    Apple wrote:
    queencitybuckeye wrote: A 17 year old of mine does not have a 24 year old boyfriend. Period. No discussion.
    I TOTALLY agree.... the exception is, you do not have mine as your ex-wife.
    Ever consider hiring a hitman? LOL
  • Nate
    sleeper wrote:
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
    Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when I pull out a wad of 100's and tell her "have whatever you'd like". The only thing she'll be chewing and spitting is my dick and cum respectively, and you can take that to the bank.
    Monopoly money does not work outside of your Mom's kitchen table and you can take that to the bank.
  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    Apple wrote: Zwick- Shouldn't you be about in number 8 tee box by now? ...you know 17 was way out of your league by the time you were 24!
    maybe if it weren't 40 degrees out.
    By time I was 24 I didn't wanna date any girl under 21.... hooking up with was a different story. This dude has to be pretty pathetic to wanna date a 17 year old.
  • sleeper
    Keebler wrote:
    sleeper wrote:
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
    Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when I pull out a wad of 100's and tell her "have whatever you'd like". The only thing she'll be chewing and spitting is my dick and cum respectively, and you can take that to the bank.
    Monopoly money does not work outside of your Mom's kitchen table and you can take that to the bank.
    That's the only currency your MOM accepts, and you can take that to the bank.
  • Nate
    sleeper wrote:
    Keebler wrote:
    sleeper wrote:
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
    Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when I pull out a wad of 100's and tell her "have whatever you'd like". The only thing she'll be chewing and spitting is my dick and cum respectively, and you can take that to the bank.
    Monopoly money does not work outside of your Mom's kitchen table and you can take that to the bank.
    That's the only currency your MOM accepts, and you can take that to the bank.
    1991 called, it wanted its Mom jokes back.
  • Apple
    sleeper wrote:
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
    Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when I pull out a wad of 100's and tell her "have whatever you'd like". The only thing she'll be chewing and spitting is my dick and cum respectively, and you can take that to the bank.
    you severely misunderestimate her... just saying.
  • sleeper
    Keebler wrote:
    sleeper wrote:
    Keebler wrote:
    sleeper wrote:
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
    Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when I pull out a wad of 100's and tell her "have whatever you'd like". The only thing she'll be chewing and spitting is my dick and cum respectively, and you can take that to the bank.
    Monopoly money does not work outside of your Mom's kitchen table and you can take that to the bank.
    That's the only currency your MOM accepts, and you can take that to the bank.
    1991 called, it wanted its Mom jokes back.
    LOL
  • Nate
  • sleeper
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote:
    Apple wrote:
    sleeper wrote: The legal age of consent is 16 in Ohio. But if you are not in Ohio, and he's sleeping with your daughter, he's a dumbass. I'd talk to your daughter about this, and if need be let me meet her, I'm pretty good at convincing women that all men want is SEX, and you can take that to the bank.

    (And no, I won't bone your daughter, I got enough women on my D right now)

    (Also, I'm younger than 24, so if she's hot, you can deal with someone younger)

    (Also, cocks).
    Sleeper... I wouldn't have expected anything less in your comment(s). She is WAY out of your league, no matter your age, and she would chew you up and spit you out before the end of the first match at the pool table.
    Yeah, I'd love to see her reaction when I pull out a wad of 100's and tell her "have whatever you'd like". The only thing she'll be chewing and spitting is my dick and cum respectively, and you can take that to the bank.
    you severely misunderestimate her... just saying.
    Yeah I'm the one telling a random stranger on the internets that she's already out of my league. It's okay though, parents always talk up their kids, its natural and I don't necessarily mind it because I'll probably do the same thing when my kids are born.

    Seriously though, I'd love to see a woman turn down $$$, especially a 17 year old.
  • Apple
    ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:By time I was 24 I didn't wanna date any girl under 21.... hooking up with was a different story. This dude has to be pretty pathetic to wanna date a 17 year old.
    My thoughts EXACTLY! ...my son also agrees. Dude needs to grow up as far as I'm concerned, and it's not my daughter's place to help him except to tell him just THAT!.
  • GoChiefs
    No one in hell this would happen in my house. Gotta quit worrying about your daughter 'liking' you and be a dad. You know what's best for her, not her. That's the job of a parent. You know it's wrong, you know what needs to be done.