posted by iclfan2

This thread really went down the rabbit hole. But I think a wedding is a way better waste than a ring. I cringe thinking about how much we spent/ were given by our parents. 

Absolutely. When you drop $30k on a wedding, you wake up the next day and it’s done. Bye bye $30k. 

When you buy a ring, you’re buying an appraised piece of real property that someone will be wearing for the rest of their lives.  I don’t understand how the two seen being prepared. 

posted by justincredible

If I were to do it all over again, yes, this would be the way to go. I don't know the final tally spent on our wedding (her parents paid for most), but I know it was a stupid amount that would've been a nice downpayment on a house. But we were young and dumb, so whatever.

If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't. Once is enough. 

posted by friendfromlowry

If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't. Once is enough. 

Fair enough. If something were to happen and I found myself single again, I'm not sure I'd ever get married again. It would certainly be a courthouse deal if I did.

posted by SportsAndLady

 

The only judgment I’ve had is cracking fun at someone for spending $750 on a ring.

Hmm...

posted by SportsAndLady

Diamonds are not a scam. You’re just cheap and have no style. And LOL @ you thinking your son is going to listen to ANYTHING you say at that point. Hopefully he buys a nice diamond ring for his fiancé and doesn’t think like you do. 

posted by SportsAndLady

This isn't very difficult to understand. Some people put higher priorities on things than others. I wanted to buy my fiance' a nice ring because a) she's awesome and b) she would enjoy the compliments. You wouldn't want to spend a lot on your SO because you're cheap and you actually believe your SO when she says she doesn't like gifts. 

i wouldn't say either of those things. i spent what i spent on her because we wanted symbols of our feelings for each other. NOT symbols of our wealth. I feel like you and i both chose mates that are perfect for us. your girl hangs with people that would notice and compliment her ring (which in turn is a compliment to you). my wife and i hang with people who would never notice or care about that, which suits us more than fine.

in no world would someone look at the ring i bought, sitting next to the ring you bought and think "S&L loves his wife more than j_crazy. because he spent 40 times more on the ring."  It is what it is man, your ring i'm sure is beautiful and will be an heirloom for your family. I'll never wrap my head around it but i appreciate it. I never wanted an heirloom, i want my wife to go to the grave with that cheap POS on her finger.

I should probably note that i deal with man made diamonds for about 25% of my day to day work, so that is why i'm so largely jaded to these things. I've been to these giant facilities in Utah where they can make a diamond of any shape, color and spec you want, i buy them for as little as $150 per (granted not gem standard, but even those aren't wildly expensive), then i beat the ever living shit out of them drilling holes in the earth till they get destroyed.

posted by j_crazy

i wouldn't say either of those things. i spent what i spent on her because we wanted symbols of our feelings for each other. NOT symbols of our wealth. I feel like you and i both chose mates that are perfect for us. your girl hangs with people that would notice and compliment her ring (which in turn is a compliment to you). my wife and i hang with people who would never notice or care about that, which suits us more than fine.

 

in no world would someone look at the ring i bought, sitting next to the ring you bought and think "S&L loves his wife more than j_crazy. because he spent 40 times more on the ring."  It is what it is man, your ring i'm sure is beautiful and will be an heirloom for your family. I'll never wrap my head around it but i appreciate it. I never wanted an heirloom, i want my wife to go to the grave with that cheap POS on her finger.

 

I should probably note that i deal with man made diamonds for about 25% of my day to day work, so that is why i'm so largely jaded to these things. I've been to these giant facilities in Utah where they can make a diamond of any shape, color and spec you want, i buy them for as little as $150 per (granted not gem standard, but even those aren't wildly expensive), then i beat the ever living shit out of them drilling holes in the earth till they get destroyed.

Fair 

posted by SportsAndLady

You wouldn't want to spend a lot on your SO because you're cheap and you actually believe your SO when she says she doesn't like gifts. 

Yeah.  Um, that's not it, and you don't understand my side of it (and others) either.  It has nothing to do with "doesn't like gifts."  Who doesn't like gifts?  But if I dropped $8k on a ring, when I could have dropped $2k on a ring, my wife (then fiancé) would actually be upset and say it wasn't necessary.  

Listen, I understand and respect that there are people out there who want to spend that kind of money on a ring, or anything else.  Some could say it's incredibly stupid and lacking judgment.  Not me.  I don't really care... it's YOUR money.  But if you feel the need to call me (and others) "cheap" to make us feel inferior... carry on.

posted by j_crazy

NOT symbols of our wealth.

Why don't you just admit that you're cheap, and that you don't want your wife to have nice things?

Do you think $8k is a lot to spend on a ring? Lol

posted by ernest_t_bass

Negative.  My wife isn't materialistic.  Are you familiar with the "Five Love Languages"?  It's a stupid book.  Anyway, gift giving (material things) is the last of the 5 for my wife.  She appreciates gifts, yes, but she puts greater value on intangible things.

Hope this helps.

Actually not a stupid book.  It's a great tool for any married guy.  My wife's love language is gifts of service.  Any time I'm in the dog house, I run the vacuum or do the dishes.  Problem solved.  

Not shocked at all this thread turned into 5 pages.  This is why I love this site.  As soon as I saw the first "rings are bullshit/scam/etc" post, I knew this thread would turn into a debate and gblock wouldn't get any real advice.  Never stop bringing the lulz OC.

Also gblock, when you buy the diamond/ring, be sure to buy personal property insurance.

Edit: When you start the "wedding planning advice" thread, embrace yourself for the "paying x $$ for a wedding is stupid" debate.

posted by j_crazy

then i beat the ever living shit out of them drilling holes in the earth till they get destroyed.

LOL

posted by like_that

Not shocked at all this thread turned into 5 pages.  This is why I love this site.  As soon as I saw the first "rings are bullshit/scam/etc" post, I knew this thread would turn into a debate and gblock wouldn't get any real advice.  Never stop bringing the lulz OC.

Also gblock, when you buy the diamond/ring, be sure to buy personal property insurance.

 

Edit: When you start the "wedding planning advice" thread, embrace yourself for the "paying x $$ for a wedding is stupid" debate

I do apologize.

posted by justincredible

I do apologize.

No need to apologize, I wasn't complaining. 

posted by like_that

Not shocked at all this thread turned into 5 pages.  This is why I love this site.  As soon as I saw the first "rings are bullshit/scam/etc" post, I knew this thread would turn into a debate and gblock wouldn't get any real advice.  Never stop bringing the lulz OC.

Also gblock, when you buy the diamond/ring, be sure to buy personal property insurance.

 

Edit: When you start the "wedding planning advice" thread, embrace yourself for the "paying x $$ for a wedding is stupid" debate.

 

 

Also knew this .. but def eye opening lol 

posted by SportsAndLady

Do you think $8k is a lot to spend on a ring? Lol

If I say I do, do you promise to pass judgment on me?

For perspective the national average last was 6k

One of my friends actually had hers custom made and she chose different stones. Peridot with emerald accents, using a heavy filigree from another ring. It really is unique and certainly beautiful. I like the idea of thinking outside of the box, too.

Some of the comments on here are just plain assinine...just the mere fact we're on this 50 member site talking about this tells me none of us are in a position to judge ANYONE on what, where, and how to spend their money. Period.

posted by vball10set

Some of the comments on here are just plain assinine...just the mere fact we're on this 50 member site talking about this tells me none of us are in a position to judge ANYONE on what, where, and how to spend their money. Period.

A new thread with lively discussion. What a disaster.

posted by justincredible

A new thread with lively discussion. What a disaster.

You created this site.  You're responsible.  

posted by SportsAndLady

Do you think $8k is a lot to spend on a ring? Lol

For the record, i think $8k is a lot to spend on most things, jewelry included and diamonds especially. 

If someone spent like 5k on a setting with some exotic precious metal, then 600 bucks on a top notch man made diamond then I respect that. My point is, we can make diamonds, we haven't figured out alchemy yet.

posted by j_crazy

My point is, we can make diamonds, we haven't figured out alchemy yet.

That's too bad, a degree in alchemical engineering would be so much more awesome than chemical engineering.

posted by j_crazy

For the record, i think $8k is a lot to spend on most things, jewelry included and diamonds especially. 

 

If someone spent like 5k on a setting with some exotic precious metal, then 600 bucks on a top notch man made diamond then I respect that. My point is, we can make diamonds, we haven't figured out alchemy yet.

I have a friend who got lab created diamonds for her ring, and imo without a microscope you cant tell.

posted by Automatik

Also, just to clarify....I'm probably in the minority regarding my thoughts on marriage, weddings, ring, etc. 

I just think the money people are willing to spend on the whole package is fucking insane. 

If I ever were to get married, ideally I'd stroll into the court house with my immediate family and closest friends, sign the papers, party my ass off, then leave for an epic trip the next morning.

Pretty much agree with all your points on this thread.