Wedding Gifts

• like_that

  

  Another wedding thread. I had this discussion with a couple friends.
  
  If you are in the wedding party and you are spending a decent amount of $$$ to be a part of the party (travel, bachelor party, suits, etc), do you think you are still obligated to buy the groom/bride a gift? Why or why not?
• sleeper

  

  I'll let Con_Alma answer this question first.
• like_that

  

  sleeper;1846770 wrote:I'll let Con_Alma answer this question first.

  I'm looking forward to it.
• wildcats20

  

  like_that;1846767 wrote:Another wedding thread. I had this discussion with a couple friends.
  
  If you are in the wedding party and you are spending a decent amount of $$$ to be a part of the party (travel, bachelor party, suits, etc), do you think you are still obligated to buy the groom/bride a gift? Why or why not?

  Was a groomsmen in a wedding awhile back. Our tuxes were over $200 and we had 2 out of town bachelors parties. I didn't get them anything. Call me cheap, call me whatever you want. But don't expect me to shell out hundreds of dollars to be in your wedding and then expect me to spend even more money on something you will likely return or not ever use.
  
  Oh and to everyone...stop making your groomsmen RENT a tux/suit. It's the biggest waste of money ever. Go to a nice men's store and have suits/tuxes to purchase. I was in a wedding several years ago and we bought our suits. Yeah it was somewhat pricey, but at least I didn't have to return it the next morning.
• wildcats20

  

  And I'm not really sure why I quoted your post lol.
• like_that

  

  wildcats20;1846778 wrote:Was a groomsmen in a wedding awhile back. Our tuxes were over $200 and we had 2 out of town bachelors parties. I didn't get them anything. Call me cheap, call me whatever you want. But don't expect me to shell out hundreds of dollars to be in your wedding and then expect me to spend even more money on something you will likely return or not ever use.
  
  Oh and to everyone...stop making your groomsmen RENT a tux/suit. It's the biggest waste of money ever. Go to a nice men's store and have suits/tuxes to purchase. I was in a wedding several years ago and we bought our suits. Yeah it was somewhat pricey, but at least I didn't have to return it the next morning.

  100% agree with you. If they get butt hurt for not receiving a gift after spending that money on their wedding, that tells all I need to know more about the groom/bride. Also 100% agree about renting tuxes. I had to rent a $300 tux for a formal wedding I was best man in (formal attire does not fit the couple's personality or taste, but that's another story). I would much rather purchase a suit for that much or more and be able to keep it.
• wildcats20

  

  like_that;1846784 wrote:100% agree with you. If they get butt hurt for not receiving a gift after spending that money on their wedding, that tells all I need to know more about the groom/bride. Also 100% agree about renting tuxes. I had to rent a $300 tux for a formal wedding I was best man in (formal attire does not fit the couple's personality or taste, but that's another story). I would much rather purchase a suit for that much or more and be able to keep it.

  Yeah, I told the groom they weren't getting anything(as did most of the groomsmen). He was cool about it and understood, not sure about the bride. She can be a royal bitch, so I'm sure she was pissed.
• Fab4Runner

  

  I have been in three weddings and gave each couple a gift. Two of the three paid for all or part of our dresses, but I did have to pay for shoes, hair, makeup and bachelorette parties. Still, they got cash from me.
  
  I had seven bridesmaids in my wedding and all of them got us gifts. I would not have been upset if they didn't, but that never happened. I paid for hair and makeup for my girls, and their dresses were fairly inexpensive. All of the groomsmen got "us" gifts as well...although several chipped in and got my husband a new driver, which was just fine with me.
• Automatik

  

  Good question, I would assume you still have to get a gift.
  
  I'm in a wedding in April and the groom is guilt tripping me about not going to the bachelor party. It's in Lake Norman, NC. I politely told him that I just can't swing it. My sister is getting married in August. I can't take that many days off and financially I just don't want to do it. He's actually pissed about it. The nerve of people in these situations blows my fucking mind.
  
  This is what's expected of me....
  
  Flight to bachelor party
  Cabin rental
  Boat rental
  
  Flight to Columbus for wedding
  Hotel
  Tux rental
  Gift
  
  Then you factor in vacation days and other random expenses. It's absurd.
• Fab4Runner

  

  Automatik;1846789 wrote:Good question, I would assume you still have to get a gift.
  
  I'm in a wedding in April and the groom is guilt tripping me about not going to the bachelor party. It's in Lake Norman, NC. I politely told him that I just can't swing it. My sister is getting married in August. I can't take that many days off and financially I just don't want to do it. He's actually pissed about it. The nerve of people in these situations blows my fucking mind.
  
  This is what's expected of me....
  
  Flight to bachelor party
  Cabin rental
  Boat rental
  
  Flight to Columbus for wedding
  Hotel
  Tux rental
  Gift
  
  Then you factor in vacation days and other random expenses. It's absurd.

  Yeah, I will never understand that. My party was in the city I live in, but two of my girls still couldn't make it. Not a big deal! I would never guilt someone into something like that...especially when it's out of town and will cost a lot of money.
• wildcats20

  

  I don't understand the people who get upset when someone says no for something wedding related. Especially when money is involved. Get over yourself people.
• Belly35

  

  NO... Wedding a waste of time, money and effort... for everyone...
  Simple wedding, nice party... reap the gifts and cash... dont piss away that $10,000 plus and have a nice down payment on a house for the future.
• wildcats20

  

  Belly35;1846803 wrote:NO... Wedding a waste of time, money and effort... for everyone...
  Simple wedding, nice party... reap the gifts and cash... dont piss away that $10,000 plus and have a nice down payment on a house for the future.

  Almost an answer to the question. Almost.
• Automatik

  

  Belly is on one today. :laugh:
• Fab4Runner

  

  Belly35;1846803 wrote:NO... Wedding a waste of time, money and effort... for everyone...
  Simple wedding, nice party... reap the gifts and cash... dont piss away that $10,000 plus and have a nice down payment on a house for the future.

  Do you boycott all weddings? Or do you go but not give gifts?
• SportsAndLady

  

  It's more than $10k for a wedding these days, belly lol
• justincredible

  

  wildcats20;1846778 wrote: Oh and to everyone...stop making your groomsmen RENT a tux/suit. It's the biggest waste of money ever. Go to a nice men's store and have suits/tuxes to purchase. I was in a wedding several years ago and we bought our suits. Yeah it was somewhat pricey, but at least I didn't have to return it the next morning.

  For our wedding, we just had our groomsmen buy a black 2-button suit. I got mine at Macy's on sale for way less than renting a tux.
• Belly35

  

  I answered the question .... No
  10,000 PLUS... Means more that 10,000 from a little to a lot
  i have three daughter... I have already seem the money for big weddings wasted but for the love of my daughter I do what I have to do...And I have one coming up very soon... This one in Chicago... Oh boy $$$$$$....
• Belly35

  

  Fab4Runner;1846810 wrote:Do you boycott all weddings? Or do you go but not give gifts?

  I always give a gift ...larger Ricer the perfect gift
  
  no newly wedded couple has one, even old people don't have one, many are clueless of what it is, very useful, a good one last for ever, easy to store and keep, quick and easy to use....
• Heretic

  

  Who wouldn't want a large Ricer?
• Commander of Awesome

  

  The idea of a wedding gift should go the way of a dinosaur. It's absurd. I usually go the donate to a charity in their name aspect. If they try and guilt trip me, they look like dicks.
  
  Sidebar- Do ppl still have wedding showers? My mom got invited to one recently for a friend of her's daughter. The couple has lived together for 4 yrs, and are now getting married. WTF? The idea of a wedding shower back in the day sort of made sense. Ppl historically lived with their parents and didn't have things like plates, etc...Now, GTFO
• wildcats20

  

  I think a lot more people are doing couple showers. I've never been invited to one and my gf has gone to a couple but they've mostly been relatives.
• Commander of Awesome

  

  wildcats20;1846854 wrote:I think a lot more people are doing couple showers. I've never been invited to one and my gf has gone to a couple but they've mostly been relatives.

  Interesting, why?
• SportsAndLady

  

  Commander of Awesome;1846851 wrote:The idea of a wedding gift should go the way of a dinosaur. It's absurd. I usually go the donate to a charity in their name aspect. If they try and guilt trip me, they look like dicks.
  
  Sidebar- Do ppl still have wedding showers? My mom got invited to one recently for a friend of her's daughter. The couple has lived together for 4 yrs, and are now getting married. WTF? The idea of a wedding shower back in the day sort of made sense. Ppl historically lived with their parents and didn't have things like plates, etc...Now, GTFO

  LOL you donate to charity instead of giving the bride and groom a gift?
  
  You're a fucking douchebag lol
• Fab4Runner

  

  Girls don't even like going to wedding or baby showers. I cannot imagine inviting dudes to one of them. Sounds terrible.