Wedding Gifts

• like_that

  

  wildcats20;1847902 wrote:This x384727583628493.
  
  It's all about the people, music, and drinks. I'm in the same boat. I've been to weddings that you know they spent a fortune and they sucked. And I've been to backyard shindig weddings that have been awesome.

  Good call on the drinks. I knew there was something missing from my post.
• Con_Alma

  First class wedding for $6,000???? This guy says, "yes".
  
  http://thefederalist.com/2017/03/30/how-my-daughter-bypassed-the-wedding-industrial-complex/
• Automatik

  

  I feel like complaining about weddings more.
  
  My sister's is next month in Colorado. She's not doing traditional registry, they pretty much have all of the typical household shit that you need.
  
  BUT, she's setup a "honey fund" via Go Fund Me for their honeymoon. They don't have one planned, and plan on taking the trip a few weeks after the wedding. Thoughts?
  
  I don't mind because it makes it easy for people, but seeing an influx of dumbass shit on Go Fund Me, it kinda turns me off.
  
  
  Also, as a groomsmen, who's paying out the ass just to attend and be in this wedding, am I expected to give a gift? :laugh:
• Ironman92

  

  One of my former student/athletes just got married---way too young without much clue. She had everything in the world on her registry. Screw the fancy wine glasses....here's a card and a $50
• Fab4Runner

  

  Automatik;1863840 wrote:I feel like complaining about weddings more.
  
  My sister's is next month in Colorado. She's not doing traditional registry, they pretty much have all of the typical household shit that you need.
  
  BUT, she's setup a "honey fund" via Go Fund Me for their honeymoon. They don't have one planned, and plan on taking the trip a few weeks after the wedding. Thoughts?
  
  I don't mind because it makes it easy for people, but seeing an influx of dumbass shit on Go Fund Me, it kinda turns me off.
  
  
  Also, as a groomsmen, who's paying out the ass just to attend and be in this wedding, am I expected to give a gift? :laugh:

  I've never seen a honey fund done with Go Fund Me, but I do know several couples who have used the actual website Honeyfund. You can pick out an excursion, meal, massage, etc. and pay for it. I guess I don't really care either way, but I agree that there are some super annoying Go Fund Me pages out there and they get on my nerves, so I probably wouldn't go that route if it were me.
  
  And yes, you are still expected to give a gift.
• Fab4Runner

  

  Although now that I think about it, if it's a destination wedding you might not have to give a gift. I went on a wedding cruise and the couple politely asked for no gifts. "Your presence is our present" or something like that is typical wording.
• SportsAndLady

  

  Does the "bride's parents pay for the wedding" thing not really happen anymore?
  
  My fiancé's parents are more than capable of paying for the wedding, but are choosing not to.
  
  It's not a big deal, I just always thought that was a thing, especially if they're financially able to.
• Automatik

  

  I don't know if it's 100%, but my parents are paying for a large portion. It's small though, I think 60-70 people, in Vail.
  
  I'm just glad they decided against the big blowout Ohio wedding. I didn't realize how much of a clusterfuck it is logistically though. Lodging is 2 hours from Denver, wedding site 20 min from lodging area (no cell service).
  
  I had to put my father in his place recently. He's grudging my uncle because he's not coming. His wife has health issues, can't make the trip, and he doesn't want to go solo. I totally get it, it's not a simple trip, but my dad is being a child about it.
• Commander of Awesome

  

  Quick aside, has anyone been to a non boring wedding? I'm talking about the ceremony. I've prob been to 30 or so weddings since 2008, and can't think of one that wasn't a cookie cutter paint by numbers ceremony. And I'm not talking like they walked down the aisle after getting married to the batman theme, or wore red converse, I mean like something actually unique.
• Commander of Awesome

  

  SportsAndLady;1863857 wrote:Does the "bride's parents pay for the wedding" thing not really happen anymore?
  
  My fiancé's parents are more than capable of paying for the wedding, but are choosing not to.
  
  It's not a big deal, I just always thought that was a thing, especially if they're financially able to.

  Very dumb tradition. I would like to see more parents tell their kids no, might start to see some reasonable weddings. On the plus side, now you don't have to invite their neighbors from when your GF was 8 yrs old bc they still send a Christmas card every year. : thumbup:
• justincredible

  

  Commander of Awesome;1863863 wrote:On the plus side, now you don't have to invite their neighbors from when your GF was 8 yrs old bc they still send a Christmas card every year. : thumbup:

  There were a lot of people at my wedding that I had never met before, and will likely never see again in my life. Our wedding was significantly larger than it needed to be because of that.
• Commander of Awesome

  

  justincredible;1863864 wrote:There were a lot of people at my wedding that I had never met before, and will likely never see again in my life. Our wedding was significantly larger than it needed to be because of that.

  It's amazing how rationale thought and restraint goes out the window with weddings.
• Ironman92

  

  SportsAndLady;1863857 wrote:Does the "bride's parents pay for the wedding" thing not really happen anymore?
  
  My fiancé's parents are more than capable of paying for the wedding, but are choosing not to.
  
  It's not a big deal, I just always thought that was a thing, especially if they're financially able to.

  I hope so
• Automatik

  

  Commander of Awesome;1863859 wrote:Quick aside, has anyone been to a non boring wedding? I'm talking about the ceremony. I've prob been to 30 or so weddings since 2008, and can't think of one that wasn't a cookie cutter paint by numbers ceremony. And I'm not talking like they walked down the aisle after getting married to the batman theme, or wore red converse, I mean like something actually unique.

  Two that I can recall. One was a ceremony on the beach in Jamaica. Quick and to the point, beautiful scenery and we all toasted champagne after and went to this baller balcony area for food/cocktails.
  
  The other was 2 years ago at the Greenbrier. It rained so it got moved inside, had a very classical feel. They had a small orchestra setup (not sure if that's the correct term). The girlfriend of one of the groom's friends sang Carmen Ohio and it was awesome. She also sings the anthem at Cavs games occasionally.
• Automatik

  

  Commander of Awesome;1863865 wrote:It's amazing how rationale thought and restraint goes out the window with weddings.

  Bridezilla syndrome. It's allllll about the fucking bride.
• iclfan2

  

  SportsAndLady;1863857 wrote:Does the "bride's parents pay for the wedding" thing not really happen anymore?
  
  My fiancé's parents are more than capable of paying for the wedding, but are choosing not to.

  That's kind of messed up if they aren't giving anything, unless they have like 5 daughters. My parents gave as much money to us as my wife's divorced parents, and I've seen more couple equally paying. My parents gave us a sum and said anything over is your problem.
  
  To the boring wedding comment, I kind of agree. We did a normal ceremony but it was under 15 minutes, w/ cocktail hour directly following at the same location.
  
  I loathe 4 hour gaps 20-30 minutes away from everything else.
  
  
  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
• like_that

  

  Automatik;1863840 wrote:
  
  Also, as a groomsmen, who's paying out the ass just to attend and be in this wedding, am I expected to give a gift? :laugh:

  Oh man, planning a wedding myself and you just had to revive this thread and get me worked up lol.
  
  Check out my original post, this was the main reason I started this thread. Based on the responses in this thread and from others I have spoken to I am going to go with "no."
  
  FWIW I am going to be in 3 weddings in the next 365 days. Between suits, bachelor parties, travel, etc I don't think you MUST provide a gift. Wedding #1 of 3 is this week for me, and I will give a card that says congrats. Paid over $400 just to fly to Vegas for the bachelor party, bought the suit, and now traveling to the wedding. As someone stated in this thread already (I believe COA), if the bride/groom bitch about not receiving a gift, then I think that tells you all you need to know about them.
  
  I fully expect none of the members in my wedding party to get me a gift. I will be sure to tell them not to for extra measure.
  
  

  SportsAndLady;1863857 wrote:Does the "bride's parents pay for the wedding" thing not really happen anymore?
  
  My fiancé's parents are more than capable of paying for the wedding, but are choosing not to.
  
  It's not a big deal, I just always thought that was a thing, especially if they're financially able to.

  They are paying for the venue (comes with catering)/guests and the dress for us. We have the rest, which hasn't been bad at all. The wedding would be MUCH smaller if they weren't paying. I would probably just do it overseas as a vacation and make the wedding really small if we were paying for it. I heard venues in Europe are very cheap to lock up.
  

  Commander of Awesome;1863859 wrote:Quick aside, has anyone been to a non boring wedding? I'm talking about the ceremony. I've prob been to 30 or so weddings since 2008, and can't think of one that wasn't a cookie cutter paint by numbers ceremony. And I'm not talking like they walked down the aisle after getting married to the batman theme, or wore red converse, I mean like something actually unique.

  Best wedding I have been to was a non secular beach wedding. It took a total of 5 minutes and they had a bar serving drinks to sip on during the ceremony.
  

  Commander of Awesome;1863863 wrote:Very dumb tradition. I would like to see more parents tell their kids no, might start to see some reasonable weddings. On the plus side, now you don't have to invite their neighbors from when your GF was 8 yrs old bc they still send a Christmas card every year. : thumbup:

  It's dumb now, because of the racket the wedding industry has turned into. Weddings used to not be the equivalent of a down payment on a house. If the parents are going to pay for it though, I am not going to complain.
  

  Commander of Awesome;1863865 wrote:It's amazing how rationale thought and restraint goes out the window with weddings.

  Don't get me started.
• Fab4Runner

  

  SportsAndLady;1863857 wrote:Does the "bride's parents pay for the wedding" thing not really happen anymore?
  
  My fiancé's parents are more than capable of paying for the wedding, but are choosing not to.
  
  It's not a big deal, I just always thought that was a thing, especially if they're financially able to.

  No, it's not really a thing anymore. Back in the day, the bride's family was essentially paying off the groom and his family to take their daughter off their hands, which is actually very shitty.
  
  Basically everyone I know has paid for their own wedding. IF parents pay, it's usually both sets contributing. My mom paid for/made all of our decor and flower arrangements and my in-laws paid for the rehearsal, but my husband and I paid for the rest.
• Fab4Runner

  

  It won't let me edit my post for some reason, but I forgot to add that it was very nice not having to take anyone's input when it came to planning. We decided every detail from the guest list on down since we were paying for it.
  
  Also, also...my wedding ceremony was pretty typical, but we did have a container of drinks and bags of popcorn set up near the entrance of our venue, so they could grab an alcoholic beverage and a snack to get them through it.
• like_that

  

  justincredible;1863864 wrote:There were a lot of people at my wedding that I had never met before, and will likely never see again in my life. Our wedding was significantly larger than it needed to be because of that.

  My mother is butt hurt, because her draft guest list had my sister in law's sister's family (yes, you read that correctly), and I pretty much said gtfo.
• Commander of Awesome

  

  like_that;1863878 wrote:My mother is butt hurt, because her draft guest list had my sister in law's sister's family (yes, you read that correctly), and I pretty much said gtfo.

  lol, that is absurd.
• SportsAndLady

  

  Got it. Not a big deal, I just didn't know if that was something more old school which it sounds like it is.
  
  Icl, her parents are contributing a small amount. Probably about $5k at most. They have 5 daughters in total.
  
  It's just funny because they paid off both their home mortgage and their cottage mortgage, are paying for the two youngest's college tuition at expensive schools, and have offered the third youngest to pay for her grad school if she wants to do that.
  
  So they're definitely able to throw money around lol