Archive

Marriage

  • hoops23
    Still regarded or a thing of the past?

    The divorce rate in this country is alarming, and with the continuing empowerment to women, they no longer need to get married to be financially stable or secure like they did just 50 years ago.

    What is the OC's opinions on marriage?
  • Commander of Awesome
    I hope to never get married. Not religious and it's not important to me.

    People that want to, more power to them. Hope theyre happy.
  • ernest_t_bass
    As a married man, I'm still torn. There are things that having a family provide to you that you can receive nowhere else in this world. However, fucking random bitches is cool too!

    Here is what is hard for late 20's-30's don't realize, though. You're not always going to be how you are right now. You may love your life right now, but at some point, those young broads you (might be) are banging right now won't always want to bang you! :)
  • hoops23
    Agreed.

    Reason I brought this up is several months ago I went through a nasty break up with my longtime girlfriend, whom I have a child with. I just imagine how much nastier it would have been had we been married.

    I never have been big into marriage. I think if two people love each, they don't need the courts to make anything official. It adds more financial stress, and probably more personal stress. A friend recently got married and I asked him what was different now. He said "nothing," to which I replied "So what's the big deal?"
  • sleeper
    I eventually will get married but not for another 5 years minimum.
  • Commander of Awesome
    ernest_t_bass;1392351 wrote:As a married man, I'm still torn. There are things that having a family provide to you that you can receive nowhere else in this world. However, fucking random bitches is cool too!

    Here is what is hard for late 20's-30's don't realize, though. You're not always going to be how you are right now. You may love your life right now, but at some point, those young broads you (might be) are banging right now won't always want to bang you! :)
    Can have a family etc... without being married. Just sayin'
  • Pick6
    I will get married, but probably not til late 20s or even 30. My biggest fear of marriage is divorce. I want to make sure I marry the right one.
  • WebFire
    Marriage makes people work harder to stay together through tough times. You think the divorce rate is high, just imagine how high the "split" rate would be if there were no marriage at all. Then you'd have a lot of kids with split parents.

    That is really the only benefit I see. I can see where it might psychological benefits for some people as well.
  • WebFire
    ernest_t_bass;1392351 wrote:As a married man, I'm still torn. There are things that having a family provide to you that you can receive nowhere else in this world. However, fucking random bitches is cool too!

    Here is what is hard for late 20's-30's don't realize, though. You're not always going to be how you are right now. You may love your life right now, but at some point, those young broads you (might be) are banging right now won't always want to bang you! :)
    And this is pretty spot on.
  • justincredible
    I'm married and I enjoy it.
  • hoops23
    justincredible;1392370 wrote:I'm married and I enjoy it.
    Do you enjoy it more than when you weren't married to your wife? For instance, when you guys were just dating? Do you feel you love her more now that you are married?
  • BR1986FB
    Was married for a very brief time. Will never do it again.
  • hoops23
    WebFire;1392367 wrote:Marriage makes people work harder to stay together through tough times. You think the divorce rate is high, just imagine how high the "split" rate would be if there were no marriage at all. Then you'd have a lot of kids with split parents.

    That is really the only benefit I see. I can see where it might psychological benefits for some people as well.
    Maybe, maybe not. I don't think there are any actual studies on this belief, however, there are a lot of kids with split/divorced parents in America.

    Sometimes, marriage can also force a couple who no longer love/like one another to stay together, causing more stress for the couple and everyone else involved, including the children.
  • GoChiefs
    justincredible;1392370 wrote:I'm married and I enjoy it.

    This.
  • Fly4Fun
    There are certain legal benefits such as tax breaks and such. And beyond that there are issues regarding estate planning that would be different between a married couple and a non-married couple.

    It's easy to think about this question in the terms of how things are different from when you were dating, or why get married?

    But once you find the right person, does the question just change vantage points and become why not?

    I personally have nothing against marriage and I plan to be married in my future.
  • Commander of Awesome
    Fly4Fun;1392382 wrote:There are certain legal benefits such as tax breaks and such. And beyond that there are issues regarding estate planning that would be different between a married couple and a non-married couple.

    It's easy to think about this question in the terms of how things are different from when you were dating, or why get married?

    But once you find the right person, does the question just change vantage points and become why not?

    I personally have nothing against marriage and I plan to be married in my future.
    Not for me it doesn't. The answer is still I don't want to. As for estate planning, just hire a lawyer and get a will. Less than a wedding.
  • hoops23
    Fly4Fun;1392382 wrote:There are certain legal benefits such as tax breaks and such. And beyond that there are issues regarding estate planning that would be different between a married couple and a non-married couple.

    It's easy to think about this question in the terms of how things are different from when you were dating, or why get married?

    But once you find the right person, does the question just change vantage points and become why not?

    I personally have nothing against marriage and I plan to be married in my future.
    I have nothing against marriage either, I just don't believe I want to be married. Of course, that could change, but I'd imagine it'd take a lot to change my mind on that belief.
  • 4cards
    ...I've been married for 30+years and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't love my wife with all my heart and I still have that desire some days to drop her in a hole in the back yard and throw dirt on top of her!

    (pretty sure some days she feels the same way about me!)
  • said_aouita
    Both my brothers are divorced. Sister divorced twice. My parents almost got divorced.
    I decided not to even bother.

    Never will I get married.
  • Raw Dawgin' it
    justincredible;1392370 wrote:I'm married and I enjoy it.
    This - and we got $15k in cash.
  • Commander of Awesome
    This is a problem that I struggle with, as I am not religious at all. What is the point of getting married besides tax benefit? Does that make the relationship any less real or something? I'm more interested in the non religious married people's view on this. Is it society's view, you want the gifts, takes relationship to next level, etc...
  • Commander of Awesome
    Raw Dawgin' it;1392396 wrote:This - and we got $15k in cash.
    Def a plus.
  • wkfan
    WebFire;1392367 wrote:Marriage makes people work harder to stay together through tough times. You think the divorce rate is high, just imagine how high the "split" rate would be if there were no marriage at all. Then you'd have a lot of kids with split parents.

    That is really the only benefit I see. I can see where it might psychological benefits for some people as well.
    I wish that this were always the case. IMO, too many people rush into marriage, or get married for the wrong reason. Then, when it doesn't work, just easily flush it.

    Also IMO, there is a 'right order' to do this and a wrong 'order'

    Right:
    1. Date
    2. Marry
    3. Live together
    4. Have kids

    I see way too many who alter that order, and fail at it. To be fair, I see some that alter the order and succeed too..but the 'fails' outweigh the 'successes'.

    Again, IMO.
  • sleeper
    The problem has to do with marriage laws currently being heavily slanted against men. They were made during a time when women couldn't even vote much less leave the kitchen; times have changed but the laws remain the same. Fix the laws, and you'll see more younger men willing to get married.
  • gorocks99
    Commander of Awesome;1392397 wrote:This is a problem that I struggle with, as I am not religious at all. What is the point of getting married besides tax benefit? Does that make the relationship any less real or something? I'm more interested in the non religious married people's view on this. Is it society's view, you want the gifts, takes relationship to next level, etc...
    I'm not married (yet) but legal protections that come along with it would seem to make your life easier. Being (legally) married affords you more rights to your spouse in times of stress (that other person will be the go-to for health care decisions, for example, and allowed visitation to you in the hospital should you be sick easier than a non-married partner). Spouses can be eligible for death benefits more easily than non-legally-bound individuals.

    That's just my opinion from limited investigation, I could be way off generally. Never been married and never been in a hospital for more than a few hours.