Archive

Grand Jury: How to get out of it.

  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    I have to report for Grand Jury tomorrow. I read its for 3 months. I have vacation at the end of next month. I'm gonna be beyond pissed if I have to miss vacation for fuckin jury duty. How do you get outta it?
  • se-alum
    Just claim you know the defendant.
  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    ccrunner609 wrote: I would arrive drunk.
    That was gonna happen regardless.
  • pmoney25
    Just say you are racist or homophobic, something along those lines.
  • Fab1b
    I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
    That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

    I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
  • DESCENTdmc
    if either of the attorneys is female sleep with one or both and brag about it and get yourself removed
  • I Wear Pants
    I got jury duty a while back. "I'm in college" worked just fine.
  • Gardens35
    If you're using that excuse to get out of being seated on a Grand Jury you'll need to know a whole bunch of defendants......
  • Fab1b
    ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
    Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
    That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

    I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
    Show up drunk then :)
  • Gardens35
    ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
    Fab1b wrote: I wouldn't arrive drunk, but I agree claim to know or know of the defendant. State you have heard of and researched the case and have formed an opinion of guilt.
    That'd work if I knew who the defendant was beforehand.

    I don't think they give u a list of all the cases you'll hear for 3 months though.
    Just saw this post.
  • september63
    Do your civic duty like everyone else and quit thinking of only Zwick? You can golf the rest of your life.
  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    I Wear Pants wrote: I got jury duty a while back. "I'm in college" worked just fine.
    Ya I've graduated from college though. Won't work for me.
  • Fab1b
    Tell them you have a non refundable trip paid for
  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    september63 wrote: Do your civic duty like everyone else and quit thinking of only Zwick? You can golf the rest of your life.
    I can also golf on vacation in April too.
  • rookie_j70
    wear a shirt with a swastika on it
  • ZWICK 4 PREZ
    rookie_j70 wrote: wear a shirt with a swastika on it
    I was thinkin bout goin Manson style with one on my forehead.
  • Fab1b
    Take a loaded gun with you
  • iclfan2
    Tell them you believe in the death penalty, for everything.
  • DESCENTdmc
    ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
    rookie_j70 wrote: wear a shirt with a swastika on it
    I was thinkin bout goin Manson style with one on my forehead.
    just find a shirt with that charles manson pic on it. its worked for regular jury duty a few times for a guy i iknow
  • David St. Hubbins
    Tell them you think all criminals should beaten then shot in the street. Also, casually drop some racial slurs as if you use them regularly.
  • I Wear Pants
    Wear a CCCP shirt.

    Like so:
  • Sonofanump
    Most judges will just have you sit in the back and witness if you try to get out of it using some of the suggestions above.
  • Apple
    just because they call you doesn't mean they will pick you. If they ask you a question, just say you don't understand the question. When they ask you again, just stare at the guy and then ask him if he can repeat the question.

    Just act dumb, like you're from Massillon or someplace like that.

    :D
  • september63
    Apple wrote: just because they call you doesn't mean they will pick you. If they ask you a question, just say you don't understand the question. When they ask you again, just stare at the guy and then ask him if he can repeat the question.

    Just act dumb, like you're from Massillon or someplace like that.

    :D
    This. ...... But i wonder though, 25 replies later, why am I the only person to suggest just follow through with your civic duty and golf the next time?