So my wife wants her mother in the delivering room!?

• j_crazy

  

  queencitybuckeye wrote:

  Keebler wrote: Nothing wrong with her mother being there. It's normal.

  I disagree on a more macro level. The OP and this child are her immediate family. Her mother became extended family on the day she was married. This in itself may or may not be a hill worth defending, but I don't see how this isn't a preview of additional boundary issues going forward.

  I thought this too , but we lived in WY and it would be a lot of work to invade our boundaries there so I caved.
• Nate

  Most women want their mother there, which is their immediate family.
• queencitybuckeye

  Keebler wrote: Most women want their mother there, which is their immediate family.

  I'd disagree with your definition. My wife and my son are my immediate family. At some point in the future, it will be just my wife.
• jmog

  Cat Food Flambe' wrote: Having her mom there sounds entirely reasonable to me. Having half your immediate family in there is another matter altogether.
  
  If you guys think watching a "normal delivery" is a jolt, wait till you get a cook's tour of your wife's lower abdominal cavity during a C-section.

  Having a wife that went through 3 c-sections...AMEN!
  
  Nothing like seeing your wife's internal organs...
• gorocks99

  

  ccrunner609 wrote: My wife and I have 3 kids and people fron Aunts to Mother in laws to sisters were in the room. I think there were like 6 people in the room for the 2nd one.
  
  As long as my wife didnt care about it (since she was the one in the stirrups with the all the glory hanging out) I didnt mind it one bit.
  
  Treat is like a party.

  And your wife is the ultimate party favor!
• sleeper

  

  The delivery is only the beginning, soon she won't want to have sex either.
• Shane Falco

  OK... I'll take all the arrows here.
  
  
  I didn't want any one (family) in the room. Luckily my wife didn't either, so we didn't have to have a disagreement about it. This is something you only get to experiance once. YOUR child, that child, will only be born once. No matter how many kids you have. To me that first moment of seeing your child is a memory my wife and I only wanted to share with each other. We didn't find out what we were having BEFORE they were born, that by the way is greatest, most awesome moment of all time, and we both didn't want any one else to be there!
  
  
  Man up! Tell her no!
• justcompete

  Was her mother their during conception? No? Tell her to get lost, this is YOUR family.
• gorocks99

  

  justcompete wrote: Was her mother their during conception? No?

  Whoa, whoa, let the man answer the question. This could get interesting.
• j_crazy

  

  Bow Chica Wow Wow.
• Heretic

  

  gorocks99 wrote:

  justcompete wrote: Was her mother their during conception? No?

  Whoa, whoa, let the man answer the question. This could get interesting.

  Yes. A good mom/daughter threesome story is just the thing for a blah afternoon such as this.
• Gobuckeyes1

  I would let the person having the baby make the call on this one...although I can understand the position of some who do not want to have anyone else in the room. Ultimately, it's about whatever makes the mother the most comfortable, IMO. If that means my mother in law is in the room when it happens, then so be it.
• darbypitcher22

  

  I think your hands are tied on this one. Just deal with it, a good married life has a happy wife
• Websurfinbird

  

  Back in the day, men weren't even allowed in the delivery room, so consider yourselves lucky that (wisely) times have changed.
• Nate

  Websurfinbird wrote: Back in the day, men weren't even allowed in the delivery room, so consider yourselves lucky that (wisely) times have changed.

  Is that really lucky? Have you ever been in a room for live birth?
  
  (joking aside, I enjoyed watching my baby girl come out after 9 long months.)
• Con_Alma

  queencitybuckeye wrote: ...., but I don't see how this isn't a preview of additional boundary issues going forward.

  
  These are much easier to establish in the beginning rather than later. Your wife and your mother may not like it at first but in the long run you will have a better marriage for it....and that they will appreciate.
• beenthere/donethat

  I agree with doing whatever will make your wife happy. It didn't even occur to me that anyone else should be in the room but my spouse & I when our children were born.
  
  The only problem that may arise is if YOUR mother decides she wants to be there because she hears your wife's mother is going to be there.
• CenterBHSFan

  

  Well, I'll put my two cents in, from experience of myself and my friends.
  
  Early to mid-twenties = wants Mom with her
  late twenties and up = not so much
  
  Don't ask me why that is, it just seems to always be that way.
  
  I guess this also depends on the novelty of having your first. At any rate, I agree with what just about everyone else has said - let the wife have in her mother.
• hasbeen

  

  Heretic wrote:

  gorocks99 wrote:

  justcompete wrote: Was her mother their during conception? No?

  Whoa, whoa, let the man answer the question. This could get interesting.

  Yes. A good mom/daughter threesome story is just the thing for a blah afternoon such as this.

  only reason i keep checking this thread.
• BORIStheCrusher

  

  Shane Falco wrote: OK... I'll take all the arrows here.
  
  
  I didn't want any one (family) in the room. Luckily my wife didn't either, so we didn't have to have a disagreement about it. This is something you only get to experiance once. YOUR child, that child, will only be born once. No matter how many kids you have. To me that first moment of seeing your child is a memory my wife and I only wanted to share with each other. We didn't find out what we were having BEFORE they were born, that by the way is greatest, most awesome moment of all time, and we both didn't want any one else to be there!
  
  
  Man up! Tell her no!

  +1
  
  My gf ended up having a c-section, but we weren't letting anybody in anyways. This was something special between the two of us; I'm glad I wasn't sharing the greatest moment of my life with my mother in law, or anybody for that matter. It was amazing to be 'alone' with my daughter right when she was born, the rest of the family could wait.
• Chesapeake

  

  Nashley25 wrote: My wife and I our having a first child anyday now and she has told me she would like to have her mother present during delivery. My wife and her mom are close and she has stated how wonderful it would be for her mom to be there during the birth of one of her grandchildren. I'm kinda struggling with this b/c I feel like its about us not her mother. Is my thinking wrong about this or not?

  Don't let it happen!
  
  My wife was in labor for 31+ hours and her mom would come into the room and be very annoying jumping back and forth from each side of the bed pretending she was a nurse/doctor and acting a fool.
  
  I eventually flipped out on everybody for coming into the room every 5 minutes.
• zambrown

  

  Websurfinbird wrote: As a female, I think I would 100% want my mother in there, and would even welcome my future mother-in-law in the room. Point being I want someone(s) with me who have gone through it before and can offer guidance and support.
  
  I'd love to hear from any mothers on here.

  We have a winner here!!!!
  
  When my son was born, my mom had been gone for 16 years (and my birth mother was 6 years away from being found). I was 33 years old and still a little scared about the whole delivery thing. My MIL and I have a great relationship and I asked her if she would be my second coach and she agreed. I took exactly 24 hours from inducing my labor to delivery and I was so happy she was there. Yes, I wanted someone who had done it before to be there with me.
• MANAZE

  

  Coming from a husband and a father there are two words i've learned that make life a hell of a lot easier. YES and HONEY. if it makes her feel better its for the best, trust me.
• OUgrad

  Don't see anything wrong with it. A happy wife/mother makes a happy husband/father!
• NNN

  

  sleeper wrote: The delivery is only the beginning, soon she won't want to have sex either.

  The only reason your parents didn't have sex after you were born is because they saw how you turned out and didn't want to risk it.
  
  And the reason you can't get laid is....well hell, how am I supposed to pick just one?