Archive

Full Body Cleanse

  • ernest_t_bass
    COA/Like_that... see, you two douche bags possibly just talked me out of doing a cleanse. I will start with fiber. As I stated, I get plenty of exercise this time of year, so that will not be an issue.

    http://life.gaiam.com/article/10-ways-detoxify-your-body
  • se-alum
    ernest_t_bass;1036879 wrote:Anyone ever do a full body cleanse or a colon cleanse? If so, what are your recommendations? I did an "Evercleanse" (http://www.evercleanse.com/) before, but I have no idea of the results b/c it was right when I quit drinking for a year, which gives you the shits anyway.

    I'm probably looking at $30 max, if anyone has any ideas.
    Easiest and cheapest, Epsom Salts. 2 tsp to 8 oz of water, and let the fun begin. Just make sure you drink plenty of water, because of the dehydration affects of salt.
  • LJ
    se-alum;1036942 wrote:Easiest and cheapest, Epsom Salts. 2 tsp to 8 oz of water, and let the fun begin. Just make sure you drink plenty of water, because of the dehydration affects of salt.
    Yeah, and that's the stupid shit doctors warn against doing :laugh:
  • dlazz
    There was an episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit on this. It was comical.
  • justincredible
    A shower is usually the easiest way to cleanse your whole body.
  • GoChiefs
    justincredible;1036953 wrote:A shower is usually the easiest way to cleanse your whole body.
    Who the hell did you lose a bet to this time???
  • se-alum
    LJ;1036946 wrote:Yeah, and that's the stupid shit doctors warn against doing :laugh:
    Do you not do any of the things doctors warn against?
  • enigmaax
    se-alum;1036958 wrote:Do you not do any of the things doctors warn against?
    Just sharing needles and unprotected sex. Because clearly doctors have incorrectly evaluated the risk versus reward.
  • LJ
    se-alum;1036958 wrote:Do you not do any of the things doctors warn against?
    I don't like doing things that cause mass dehydration and strain on your insides like that.
  • se-alum
    LJ;1036971 wrote:I don't like doing things that cause mass dehydration and strain on your insides like that.
    It's pretty easy to keep yourself hydrated, it's not like he's gonna be doing any strenuous activities during this. Also, I've never known the shits to be a strain on the insides.
  • LJ
    se-alum;1036993 wrote:It's pretty easy to keep yourself hydrated, it's not like he's gonna be doing any strenuous activities during this. Also, I've never known the shits to be a strain on the insides.
    It's causing your instestines to go through massive convulsions. And it will most definitely dehydrate you for a time period. Even if you take in fluid the whole time, there is a time period where that fluid is just gonna pass right through you obviously.
  • ernest_t_bass
    I'm just going to mix Metamucil with Epsom Salts.
  • justincredible
    ernest_t_bass;1037002 wrote:I'm just going to mix Metamucil with Epsom Salts.
    I've heard cyanide also works.
  • ernest_t_bass
    justincredible;1037006 wrote:I've heard cyanide also works.
    Justin, cyanide would kill me. It's poison. Why would you want me to take poison? Do you want me to die? That wouldn't be very nice of you, if you want me to die.
  • justincredible
    ernest_t_bass;1037012 wrote:Justin, cyanide would kill me. It's poison. Why would you want me to take poison? Do you want me to die? That wouldn't be very nice of you, if you want me to die.
    Just passing along what I've heard.
  • DeyDurkie5
    ernest_t_bass;1037012 wrote:Justin, cyanide would kill me. It's poison. Why would you want me to take poison? Do you want me to die? That wouldn't be very nice of you, if you want me to die.
    snotbubbles sperm
  • Heretic
    DeyDurkie5;1037016 wrote:snotbubbles sperm
    Too much sperm is why he needs the full body cleanse!
  • ernest_t_bass
    Heretic;1037019 wrote:Too much sperm is why he needs the full body cleanse!

    Inorite!
  • SnotBubbles
    DeyDurkie5;1037016 wrote:snotbubbles sperm
  • 1_beast
    THE4RINGZ;1036933 wrote:I ate too much pork and sauerkraut on New Year's Day, that seemed to clean out my colon Monday, and I think I only paid $1.79 for the bag of kraut.

    This
    like_that;1036935 wrote:Try excercising and eating natural foods that are high in fiber. Body cleansed.
    This

    and....

    This

  • Fab1b
    dlazz;1036949 wrote:There was an episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit on this. It was comical.
    This was a great episode!
  • said_aouita
    Do you ever fast? Go an entire day without food, only water?
    _____________________________________________________


    How about this craziness?

    • The Master Cleanse
      • There are a number of ways to naturally flush out your system. The most well-known may be the Master Cleanse, also known as the lemonade diet or the maple syrup fast. The Master Cleanse was created by Stanley Burroughs in 1941 but really became popular in recent years as celebrities used it to lose weight quickly and spread the word. Beyoncé Knowles lost more than 20 pounds for her role in "Dreamgirls" by using the Master Cleanse, and Jared Leto reportedly lost the 62 pounds he gained to play convicted murderer Mark David Chapman by using this method.
        The Master Cleanse was not originally meant to be a weight-loss plan, however. It was designed as a natural way to do a full-body detox.
        You can do the Master Cleanse for three, seven, 10 or more days. The instructions are simple: For whatever period of time you choose, you consume nothing but a drink made of fresh lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water. Some directions for the Master Cleanse also recommend drinking a saltwater mixture in the morning or evening as an additional way to flush out your system.
      Liver and Gallbladder Flush

      • If you have gallstones and want to specifically target your liver and gallbladder you can do the apple juice flush. This is a seven-day liver and gallstone detox program. Like the Master Cleanse, it is a simple diet using fresh ingredients.
        To do the gallbladder flush, eat four to six apples and drink four to five glasses of organic, unfiltered apple juice for the first six days. You can continue eating regular meals, as well, although some people fast from all other food while they follow it. Each night before bed, you consume olive oil, lemon juice and water. Lie on your right side as you sleep for best results. On the seventh day repeat the process but add a morning enema to your routine*. This not only detoxes your liver and gallbladder but, if you have gallstones, they'll be expelled. * Sure 609 would volunteer to help on this.
    [LEFT]
    [/LEFT]
  • se-alum
    said_aouita;1037120 wrote:Do you ever fast? Go an entire day without food, only water?
    _____________________________________________________


    How about this craziness?

    • The Master Cleanse
      • There are a number of ways to naturally flush out your system. The most well-known may be the Master Cleanse, also known as the lemonade diet or the maple syrup fast. The Master Cleanse was created by Stanley Burroughs in 1941 but really became popular in recent years as celebrities used it to lose weight quickly and spread the word. Beyoncé Knowles lost more than 20 pounds for her role in "Dreamgirls" by using the Master Cleanse, and Jared Leto reportedly lost the 62 pounds he gained to play convicted murderer Mark David Chapman by using this method.
        The Master Cleanse was not originally meant to be a weight-loss plan, however. It was designed as a natural way to do a full-body detox.
        You can do the Master Cleanse for three, seven, 10 or more days. The instructions are simple: For whatever period of time you choose, you consume nothing but a drink made of fresh lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water. Some directions for the Master Cleanse also recommend drinking a saltwater mixture in the morning or evening as an additional way to flush out your system.
      Liver and Gallbladder Flush

      • If you have gallstones and want to specifically target your liver and gallbladder you can do the apple juice flush. This is a seven-day liver and gallstone detox program. Like the Master Cleanse, it is a simple diet using fresh ingredients.
        To do the gallbladder flush, eat four to six apples and drink four to five glasses of organic, unfiltered apple juice for the first six days. You can continue eating regular meals, as well, although some people fast from all other food while they follow it. Each night before bed, you consume olive oil, lemon juice and water. Lie on your right side as you sleep for best results. On the seventh day repeat the process but add a morning enema to your routine*. This not only detoxes your liver and gallbladder but, if you have gallstones, they'll be expelled. * Sure 609 would volunteer to help on this.
    [LEFT]
    [/LEFT]
    There was an episode of Weeds where the guy was doing that Master Cleanse.
  • Fab1b
    So you are going to pay for something that will make you shit your brains out to feel better??? Might as well get a ton of taco bell, enjoy it then shit your brains out! I call it the taco bell cleanse and the cost will depend on how much food you order!
  • Fab1b
    That pic always makes me LOL