Divorce

• ernest_t_bass

  

  Con_Alma;1708688 wrote:I've been married for more than 25 years. Marriage is as hard as you make it. It's also as easy and wonderful as you want it to be. Choose your spouse carefully.

  /con_alma'd
• GoChiefs

  

  ernest_t_bass;1708693 wrote:OK, maybe not "hard," but it does take a lot of work. The first few years are harder than the rest.

  Still disagree. If you're ready for marriage and are with the right woman, marriage takes little effort. The occassional compromise, but other than that, I don't see how it would be so hard?
• Ytowngirlinfla

  

  ernest_t_bass;1708693 wrote:OK, maybe not "hard," but it does take a lot of work. The first few years are harder than the rest.

  Actually the first few years should be the easiest.
• SportsAndLady

  

  I can see how marriage would be hard if you marry a pain in the ass or the wrong woman. But I'm not married so who fucking knows. Just seems silly to me that you would say marriage is hard and if you could do it all over again you wouldn't marry your wife...but then say you love your wife and you're going to try and make it work.
• ZWICK 4 PREZ

  

  Sounds to me like etb needs a divorce.
• Fab4Runner

  

  ETB is not the only person who has ever said that marriage is work or marriage is hard. If you never have to work at yours...great. Congratulations. But that doesn't mean others don't have to.
  
  Things happen. Whether it's financial issues, health problems, fertility problems. People go through things, and sometimes it strains a relationship or a marriage. I don't know why we can't just agree that every marriage is different, and even if you don't have problems, it doesn't mean others do not. Did etb marry the wrong person? Maybe. But no one really knows that but him and/or his wife. I know couples who have been married for 40+ years who also say that is has been difficult at times, and that it took work...but they are still together after all that time. Did they marry the wrong person just because they had a few bumps over four decades? I don't think so.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  SportsAndLady;1708703 wrote:I can see how marriage would be hard if you marry a pain in the ass or the wrong woman. But I'm not married so who fucking knows. Just seems silly to me that you would say marriage is hard and if you could do it all over again you wouldn't marry your wife...but then say you love your wife and you're going to try and make it work.

  Never said that. Said if I got divorced, I wouldn't remarry. Huge difference.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Fab4Runner;1708710 wrote:ETB is not the only person who has ever said that marriage is work or marriage is hard. If you never have to work at yours...great. Congratulations. But that doesn't mean others don't have to.
  
  Things happen. Whether it's financial issues, health problems, fertility problems. People go through things, and sometimes it strains a relationship or a marriage. I don't know why we can't just agree that every marriage is different, and even if you don't have problems, it doesn't mean others do not. Did etb marry the wrong person? Maybe. But no one really knows that but him and/or his wife. I know couples who have been married for 40+ years who also say that is has been difficult at times, and that it took work...but they are still together after all that time. Did they marry the wrong person just because they had a few bumps over four decades? I don't think so.

  Because internet.
• SportsAndLady

  

  ernest_t_bass;1708712 wrote:Never said that. Said if I got divorced, I wouldn't remarry. Huge difference.

  ernest_t_bass;1708608 wrote:
  I would just never want to do it all over again from scratch.

  Sorry, I took that as you wouldn't redo your marriage of you had the chance.
• rydawg5

  SportsandLady, I'm assuming your still in a point in your life where you definitely are not married yet and may/may not still have multiple roommates or something?
  
  
  Marriages can definitely be hard. Everyone has different personalities and MANY personalities are kosher short term but REALLY butt heads over the long term.
  
  That doesn't mean the love or the extremely sacred bond you entered isn't there or it isn't worth it. It's something you need to work at sometimes your whole life, because the marriage to you is that important.
  
  That being said, if it's constantly abusive, then I don't fault anyone for getting out.
• bigkahuna

  GoChiefs;1708655 wrote:No, it's not.

  Ytowngirlinfla;1708659 wrote:I'll agree with this. Been married almost 3 years and we rarely have any disagreements. Definitely very little work.

  GoChiefs;1708695 wrote:Still disagree. If you're ready for marriage and are with the right woman, marriage takes little effort. The occassional compromise, but other than that, I don't see how it would be so hard?

  
  All of these. My first marriage lasted 3.5 years. It was a lot of bickering back and forth and little give and take. We were only dating for about 8 months before I proposed then lived together for barely a year before we got married. Over time, I figured out that we were just 2 different people. This time around, I've been in a relationship for 2 years; living together for 1.5. We first of all have pretty much everything in common as far as interests and ideas go. We have a few disagreements, but it's never "I'm irritated at you for..." type of things. Really the only reason I haven't proposed is for financial reasons. The last time, I took a loan out to buy a ring. I want to pay cash this time. I will say though that having someone you're 100% compatible with makes it easier. Also, living with the person is almost a must these days.
• SportsAndLady

  

  rydawg5;1708720 wrote:SportsandLady, I'm assuming your still in a point in your life where you definitely are not married yet and may/may not still have multiple roommates or something?
  
  
  Marriages can definitely be hard. Everyone has different personalities and MANY personalities are kosher short term but REALLY butt heads over the long term.
  
  That doesn't mean the love or the extremely sacred bond you entered isn't there or it isn't worth it. It's something you need to work at sometimes your whole life, because the marriage to you is that important.
  
  That being said, if it's constantly abusive, then I don't fault anyone for getting out.

  Umm I didn't say marriages aren't or can't be hard. It's the whole "if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have married her..but I really love her and we try really hard to make it work because we have kids" thing that makes me question why they got married in the first place.
• justincredible

  

  My wife and I have a great marriage, we rarely fight or argue, but it can still be difficult at times. Current scenario, trying to figure when/where to move from our current house. We both have different ideas on where we would like to move, neither of which is at all appealing to the other partner.
  
  I have absolutely no plans on ever getting a divorce but I do agree with etb. If something were to happen and we were to get a divorce I would absolutely not get married again.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  justincredible;1708764 wrote:I would absolutely not get married again.

  OMG, I can't believe you hate your wife. Divorce her!!!1!
• Belly35

  

  Seven year theory …. Yes and no
  
  Marriage is a work in progress it continuous to evolve as time passes. Preparation no plan is a bad plan even if the plan doesn’t workout you both are prepared for the best and the worst in some manner. Life events alter the direction of your marriage handle it with care, concern and determination, spouse and kids will develop over time give then encouragement, support and space to achieve their goals/careers, all situations have solution finding those solution is the challenge of togetherness.
  As the marriage progresses the dimension of Love will change due to a number of elements (does mean you’re not Loved it’s just different) but as time passes, the normality settles back, Love will make a full cycle back to passion.
  Start your marriage with Faith (go to church) build that Faith as your family grows the dividends are endless.
• SportsAndLady

  

  ernest_t_bass;1708765 wrote:OMG, I can't believe you hate your wife. Divorce her!!!1!

  Again, that's not what you said. You said if you could do it all over again, you wouldn't marry your wife.
  
  Big difference in that and saying why justin is saying.
• Fab4Runner

  

  ernest_t_bass;1708604 wrote:Without a doubt, this. I'd never want to put myself through this again.

  ernest_t_bass;1708608 wrote:LOL, it's not that bad. Marriage is hard. Really hard. And it takes a lot of work, and we're both willing to do whatever it takes to make sure we get through anything that we face. I love my wife, very much.
  
  I would just never want to do it all over again from scratch.

  ernest_t_bass;1708712 wrote:Never said that. Said if I got divorced, I wouldn't remarry. Huge difference.

  SportsAndLady;1708782 wrote:Again, that's not what you said. You said if you could do it all over again, you wouldn't marry your wife.
  
  Big difference in that and saying why justin is saying.

  Did he really say that, or did you just assume that's what he meant?
• ernest_t_bass

  

  SportsAndLady;1708782 wrote:Again, that's not what you said. You said if you could do it all over again, you wouldn't marry your wife.
  
  Big difference in that and saying why justin is saying.

  1) no, I didn't
  2) relax
• ernest_t_bass

  

  ernest_t_bass;1708229 wrote:This is the god damned dumbest thing I've ever read.

  I did turn off the Buckeye BASKETBALL game last night for my girls.
• SportsAndLady

  

  ernest_t_bass;1708785 wrote:1) no, I didn't
  2) relax

  Relax? Just having a conversation.
  
  Guess I took your words to mean something else. My bad. I'll dip out of this thread before the ratards take it over.
• FatHobbit

  

  I understand what etb is saying. I think marriage is hard. And I will say if I could go back in time I'm not sure I would get married again. I was damn happy when I was single. I knew my wife for two years before we even dated and she was incredibly easy to get along with and laid back. We were in a long distance relationship for 2 years and lived together for 1 year before we got married. I thought I knew her as well as anyone could know someone but as soon as we got married things changed. There are days I can't even brush my teeth right! Not fucking kidding. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again but I would definitely think about things. There are definitely good days too but there are some things that really piss me off.
• friendfromlowry

  I've only been married for 15 months so I'm a rookie compared to others on here but so far it hasn't been that much of a struggle. But we found she was pregnant weeks after getting married so we've encountered our challenges. Date someone as long as you can before you get engaged.
• Belly35

  

  I married the perfect women for me, could I do that again if I could turn back time... Hell NO
  Do I need a wife no, did I ever need a wife no... but the bigger question is
  Am I better off now that I would have been without my wife? YES YES YES
  Without my wife I would have been killed, drunk, drug or dead, worthless individual, drudge on society. That the same person that I dislike the most ....
  
  Will I ever get married again NO ... friend with benifits ..
• DeyDurkie5

  

  Belly35;1708809 wrote:I married the perfect women for me, could I do that again if I could turn back time... Hell NO
  Do I need a wife no, did I ever need a wife no... but the bigger question is
  Am I better off now that I would have been without my wife? YES YES YES
  Without my wife I would have been killed, drunk, drug or dead, worthless individual, drudge on society. That the same person that I dislike the most .... I would be a black person
  
  Will I ever get married again NO ... friend with benifits ..

  /belly'd
• sleeper

  

  Con_Alma;1708688 wrote:I've been married for more than 25 years. Marriage is as hard as you make it. It's also as easy and wonderful as you want it to be. Choose your spouse carefully.

  /Con_Alma