The most ridiculous situation you've ever been in...

• justincredible

  

  Feel free to post stories of any ridiculous situations you've been put through.
  
  Mine was easily being investigated by the Secret Service back about 5 years ago. Nothing ever came of it because I wasn't guilty of anything but I really think that is the event that spurred my current hate for pretty much anything related to the federal government. The whole thing started because I put cash down on my wife's engagement ring. Only 2 people paid cash at that particular jewelry store that day, and what do you know, there were counterfeit bills used.
  
  I ended up meeting with two SS agents a few times throughout the process and they were pretty cool. The lady was actually kind of hot. But the dick head that came to town to administer my polygraph test was another story. The entire process of taking the polygraph was a fucking joke. They essentially coach you through the entire process and you get asked all of the questions before being hooked up to the machine as a practice round.
  
  When explaining how it would all work the guy asked ridiculous questions like "how old were you when you learned right from wrong?"
  I dunno, like 4 or 5?
  "Right, and is lying right or wrong?"
  Ummm, wrong?
  "Yes, so would you agree that once you learned right from wrong that you should never lie?"
  Yes?
  "Correct. Of course, I'm not talking about little white lies like if your wife asks if her butt looks big and you say no. I'm talking about lying to manipulate or to get out of trouble."
  Okay.
  "Because if you lie after you've learned right from wrong then you're nothing but a liar and will always be a liar." (WHAT? GFY.)
  
  I had no idea where he was going with this. I was a teenage boy, I lied all the time to get out of trouble. Then we get in to the actual "practice" round before they hooked me to the machine.
  
  "Okay, first question. Since learning right from wrong have you ever told a lie?"
  Yes.
  
  The dude had the most ridiculous reaction, like he was flabbergasted I said yes.
  
  "Wait, wait, wait. Didn't you say lying was wrong and blah, blah, blah..."
  Okay, fine. No.
  
  The rest of the questions were stupid, I can't really remember any others. Now it's time to get hooked up to the machine. The guy sat at the desk with the machine behind me so I couldn't see anything that was going on.
  
  "First question. Since learning right from wrong have you ever told a lie?"
  No.
  (loud sigh)
  The rest of the test was uneventful. But fuck that guy.
  
  A few months went by after that with no contact and then a few days after a huge counterfeiting bust in the area I get a call to come in and leave a written statement. I asked if my case had anything to do with the bust and the lady said no, that my case was essentially a big waste of time for everyone.
  
  
  Getting arrested and sent to the hospital the night of my bachelor party is also up there. A close second.
• Raw Dawgin' it

  

  Getting arrested at gun point after leading the cops on a small chase through my hometown. This happened the night before thanksgiving. Had to call my parents since I didn't have enough money to cover my bail.
• justincredible

  

  Raw Dawgin' it;1404252 wrote:Getting arrested at gun point after leading the cops on a small chase through my hometown. This happened the night before thanksgiving. Had to call my parents since I didn't have enough money to cover my bail.

  What was the cause of the chase?
• thavoice

  justincredible;1404247 wrote:Feel free to post stories of any ridiculous situations you've been put through.
  
  Mine was easily being investigated by the Secret Service back about 5 years ago. Nothing ever came of it because I wasn't guilty of anything but I really think that is the event that spurred my current hate for pretty much anything related to the federal government. The whole thing started because I put cash down on my wife's engagement ring. Only 2 people paid cash at that particular jewelry store that day, and what do you know, there were counterfeit bills used.
  
  I ended up meeting with two SS agents a few times throughout the process and they were pretty cool. The lady was actually kind of hot. But the **** head that came to town to administer my polygraph test was another story. The entire process of taking the polygraph was a ****ing joke. They essentially coach you through the entire process and you get asked all of the questions before being hooked up to the machine as a practice round.
  
  When explaining how it would all work the guy asked ridiculous questions like "how old were you when you learned right from wrong?"
  I dunno, like 4 or 5?
  "Right, and is lying right or wrong?"
  Ummm, wrong?
  "Yes, so would you agree that once you learned right from wrong that you should never lie?"
  Yes?
  "Correct. Of course, I'm not talking about little white lies like if your wife asks if her butt looks big and you say no. I'm talking about lying to manipulate or to get out of trouble."
  Okay.
  "Because if you lie after you've learned right from wrong then you're nothing but a liar and will always be a liar." (WHAT? GFY.)
  
  I had no idea where he was going with this. I was a teenage boy, I lied all the time to get out of trouble. Then we get in to the actual "practice" round before they hooked me to the machine.
  
  "Okay, first question. Since learning right from wrong have you ever told a lie?"
  Yes.
  
  The dude had the most ridiculous reaction, like he was flabbergasted I said yes.
  
  "Wait, wait, wait. Didn't you say lying was wrong and blah, blah, blah..."
  Okay, fine. No.
  
  The rest of the questions were stupid, I can't really remember any others. Now it's time to get hooked up to the machine. The guy sat at the desk with the machine behind me so I couldn't see anything that was going on.
  
  "First question. Since learning right from wrong have you ever told a lie?"
  No.
  (loud sigh)
  The rest of the test was uneventful. But **** that guy.
  
  A few months went by after that with no contact and then a few days after a huge counterfeiting bust in the area I get a call to come in and leave a written statement. I asked if my case had anything to do with the bust and the lady said no, that my case was essentially a big waste of time for everyone.
  
  
  Getting arrested and sent to the hospital the night of my bachelor party is also up there. A close second.

  So did you ever own up to watching Melrose Place?
• justincredible

  

  thavoice;1404259 wrote:So did you ever own up to watching Melrose Place?

  I don't know what this means.
• thavoice

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_Sw6by7pig
• SportsAndLady

  

  Smoked some pot at a party in high school..some kid in my class ratted a bunch of us out (we don't know who ratted, still).
  
  The school admins brought us in (about 45 of us total) one-by-one and had a letter of resignation from the school (basically, you're expelled) with a blank signature at the bottom. We were told "did you smoke pot at ----- ------'s party" I said no, and the admin told me to sign my name. I was 16 years old. So I then said yes. They gave me 3 days suspension. 11 people were expelled. Another 15 or so also received suspensions. Everyone else got off free and clear.
  
  The parents reaked hell about this and it was dropped to in-school suspension (where my freshman team bball coach was the person to watch us..we played video games and talked about the party).
  
  During lunch, we were marched in a single file line and told to walk up to the line and pick up our lunches that were already pre-made...while the whole school was in the cafeteria eating and watching us do this.
  
  At the end of the 2nd day, the principal came into our room and told us how big of a mistake they made and that we were allowed to return to class as normal the next day...to which one kid raised his hand and asked if we could stay there the 3rd day? She said "you guys WANT to be here?" and we all said yes..and the 3rd day we played some more video games w/ our bball coach.
  
  All because of some marijuana
• justincredible

  

  thavoice;1404261 wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_Sw6by7pig

  Ahh, shit. I completely forgot about that episode. Good call.
• justincredible

  

  SportsAndLady;1404264 wrote:All because of some marijuana

  
• FatHobbit

  

  I met up with some friends one night to go out. When we came back to get our cars at about 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning and as we were getting in our cars the cops come flying in with their guns drawn and order everyone to put their hands on their cars and they frisked us. Someone had just robbed the gas station next door. They brought the lady who was working the gas station out and she said that it wasn't us so they let us go, but I was about to shit my pants for a minute.
• thavoice

  I think the most hairy situation I got in was when I was 15. Cop busted my buddy speeding......we didnt see the cop until he was beside us and he though we werent stopping for him. 3 of us were in full drinking mode as we were playing the drinking game The Jack (ac/dc) when he was aside of us. Pulled us over. Made us take the beer out, pour it out, and gave us all sobriety tests. Luckily we just left a place we were eating at for an hour and we werent bad. He loaded us in the car, drove about 15 feet and asked if we were scared.
  
  Hell yeah.
  
  He then let us go but told us taht we better tell our parents what happened. We were like...yeah right. But when we got to his house his parents already got a call from the cop telling them what happened so his mom took us all home and made us tell our parents!
  
  So I guess we got lucky and out of a possible underage. Driver was especially lucky. Dont think this would ever happen nowadays.
• sleeper

  

  I had lunch with an ND fan who was convinced ND would beat Alabama in the title game. Talk about ridiculous. :thumbup:
• Manhattan Buckeye

  Internal Revenue Service.
  
  2011 tax year we got a random check from them....my mother-in-law cashed it to our bank account. There was no reason for her to believe it was a mistake. It was a mistake. We received about a half dozen or so of threatening letters from the IRS about not paying back the mistaken funds, and that we were subject to interest, penalties and a lien on our property holdings.
• Belly35

  

  Manhattan Buckeye;1404291 wrote:Internal Revenue Service.
  
  2011 tax year we got a random check from them....my mother-in-law cashed it to our bank account. There was no reason for her to believe it was a mistake. It was a mistake. We received about a half dozen or so of threatening letters from the IRS about not paying back the mistaken funds, and that we were subject to interest, penalties and a lien on our property holdings.

  I get those weekly
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Spelling bee
  
  /Belly
  
  
• Fly4Fun

  

  thavoice;1404259 wrote:So did you ever own up to watching Melrose Place?

  I'm pretty sure this is your high note. Time to stop posting!
• justincredible

  

  Fly4Fun;1404319 wrote:I'm pretty sure this is your high note. Time to stop posting!

  [video=youtube;QpUyb37CFT4][/video]
• dlazz

  I lead a predictable and dull life, so nothing is ridiculous.
  
  I did run cross country for a gym teacher. Looking back, that was a ridiculous mistake.
• thavoice

  Fly4Fun;1404319 wrote:I'm pretty sure this is your high note. Time to stop posting!

  WHat ya gonna do...ban me again?
• Devils Advocate

  

  I once posted on a web site for free, and then was actually tempted to pay 12 dollars....
• DeyDurkie5

  

  Back in my college years, I partied a lot at OSU campus and all that good jazz. One particular night, we were going out for mug night at inn/out. I'm sure OSU students on here know about this bar and location but to give someone else an idea, it was at the other end of the main street running through OSU if you got off 11th avenue. Well, after getting shithoused drunk, and getting into an altercation with my buddy about the place being full of 12 year old frat boys looking to fight anything that moved, I decided fuck it I'm going home. Probably is, my buddy drove, i didn't have any cash/card on me, and I lost my phone. I walked all the way down main street, past eddie george's, past the campus, and back to 11th avenue. I walk down 11th(and keep in mind this is a ghetto ass fucking street and it's right around 230am) and figure fuck it I'm going to walk home on 71 since it's the easiest thing to do. Well I start walking down 11th, getting eyed by ghetto thugs and prostitutes(one guy even approached me about money and I showed him my pockets were basically empty except for chapstick and a wallet with just my ID in it. He called me a n*gger and I went about my business).
  
  Well i've been walking for about 35-45 minutes at this point and I'm approaching the highway exit. I notice two cop cars are stopped with their lights on and are arresting wat looks like drunk drivers. So, figuring this is my way home and a lot better option than walking down 71, I approach them with my hands raised and the best drunk stumble you've ever seen.
  
  Me:"officers, I'm not armed. Just incredibly drunk with no way home other than to continue walking through this ghetto or down 71"
  Officer: "Get your fucking ass on the ground and shut up while we deal with this"
  Me: "ermsermmsrje(which in my head was "yes sir, right away")
  
  About 15 minutes later, the one cop takes away the drunk teens, and the other approaches me.
  
  Officer: "put your hands on the hood of the car"
  I did. He patted me down. He turns me around and says "so you are telling me you are drunk, and you are walking through the ghetto at this late trying to walk home?"
  Me: "yeah, no cash/card/phone on me"
  Officer: " for a white kid surviving that walk I'm going to take you home with no citations"
  
  He puts me in the back of his car and off we go. This was around the time lebron was still on the cavs, and the silence was killing me on the drive so I decide to open my mouth and say "emermemsahmermeaj(which in my head translates to "how good is lebron james?")
  
  He didn't even acknowledge the question, and the rest of the way was silent. And that's just one of many stories about how I'm a drunk jackass.
• sleeper

  

  It's Out r inn. Not inn out. SMH.
• BR1986FB

  When I was in court getting divorced the judge asked me if I knew there was a warrant out for my arrest. Of course I said, "what?" She knew it was incorrect when she said a 5'6" 135 lb black man who was wanted was using my SSN. I'm a lot taller than 5'6", weigh quite a bit more than 135 and am very white.
• dlazz

  sleeper;1404410 wrote:It's Out r inn. Not inn out. SMH.

  DeyDurkie is a fraud. Claiming OSU as his own. Pathetic.
• Automatik

  

  Main street? lol
  
  It was a good one though. The last LeBron comment made me lol.