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DEATH TO MASSILLION!!! WORSE DISASTER THAN THE HAITIS!!!!!

  • Sage
    So, here I sit in the pool of souls. Chilling with my homies, World B. Free, Pablo Escobar, and Betsy Ross.

    We're doing our thing, puffing blunts and getting dome from three headed virgins (THINK ABOUT THE BLISS), and drinking Malt Liquor.

    All of a sudden, coyotes22 bursts onto the scene. He's trying to get us to countdown. I pull out my uzi and even though the cocaine has my heart racing so bad it sounds like a Dr. Dre beat, I smoke that fool cuz that's what I do. I then fornicate with his corpse because that's always been a fantasy of mine.

    Then all of a sudden the Massillion Crew (SKANK, ZWICK4VICEPREZ, Tigers000000, etc. etc) burts down the door again with the Alphabet Boys. THEY WANT MY GUNS. THEY WANT MY DRUGS. THIS CANT HAPPEN. OH NO THIS CANNOT HAPPEN.

    I HAD TO THINK QUICK.

    SO I POWERED UP USING MY MARIONAIRE POWERS

    [align=center]

    A rough amateur's sketch of me powering up my Marionaire powers. If u stare at this photo, u will begin to feel the quaking of MASSILLIONS vaginas!!!!![/align]

    THESE GUYS ARE TRYING TO TAZER ME WITH THEIR STUPIDTY.

    ARGGHHHHH!!!! BETSY ROSS GETS SLAIN!!!!!!! (WHAT THE FUCK, ZWICK!!!! SHE WAS AN AMERICAN HERO!!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS U COCKSUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

    Just then, coyotes22 rises from the ashes like a phoenix (MUCH LIKE HIS IDIOTIC FUCKING POSTS). He's all like "TTT, PRICK, TTT!" and I'm going "FUCK THIS IS GOING TO TAKE MROE DRUGS."

    So I pause the game. Wrap a belt around my arm. Inject some more HEYRON. GOOD TO GO. GAME ON MASSILLION.

    So these clowns, they got us pinned down. And Escobar is like "THESE GUYS TRYING TO GO HARD."

    And World's all like, "THATS WHAT SHE SAID, PABLO, LOLOL."

    SO THEYVE GOT US PINNED DOWN (NO HOMO). AND THEN I REMEMBEr--OH YEA MY MARIONAIRE POWERS ARE READY TO RIDe!!!!

    LETS GET THESE BUMS!!!!!!!

    [align=center]

    Hiroshima, and now Massillion, takes a textbook dumpin' from the City of Kings[/align]

    Everybody is like "OMG OMG OMG CRISIS JUST LIKE HAITI" ONLY THE RED CROSS IS NOT COMING BECAUSE MASSILLION PEOPLE ARE IMMUNE TO ATOMIC BOMBS. (RADIATION BABIES, as we like to call them).

    SO by this time, theyre advancing on us. I can hear coyotes counting down, Zwick talking about how hes going to bang chicks and drive his prius on the gold laced streets of Marion.

    THINGS ARE LOOKING GRIM

    THEN TROOPERDEN COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

    AND HES LIKE

    "LOL WAY TO BASH. IM GOING TO GO PUT ANOTHER STEAK ON THE BARBY AND GO ENJOY THIS SUMMER DAY! PUNISHMENT!!!!"

    And we're all like "WHO INVITED THE PUNISHER?"

    BUT JUST LIKE THAT, TRooperden disappears.

    AND THEN IT HITS ME

    THE KEY TO DEFEAT THE ARMY OF MASSILLIONS

    So, I"M LIKE, "EH YO WORLD AND PABLO, LETS GET THESE HOS, MANG. POWER UP OUR MARIONAIRE POWERS."

    [align=center]
    World B. Free, Pablo Escobar, Suzie Colber, and BETSY ROSS (CORPSE STATUS) GETTING READY TO GET UP IN THE ASS MASSILLION!!!! ALL HOMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/align]

    So what did we produce? OH WE PRODUCED THE KRYPONITE TO ANY MASSILLION RESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [align=center]
    FACTS AND LOGIC, THE KRYPTONITE TO ANY massiLOLian[/align]

    AND JUST LIKE THAT, THEIR HEADS ALL EXPLODED. WE ALL CHEER. THE WORLD CHEERS. THEIR FANS TRY TO THROW BOTTLES BUT THEY GET EJECTED BY THE THREADIQUETTE POLICE.

    I AM HAILED AS A WORLD CHAMPION. I THEN HAVE SEX WITH A GROUP OF WHORES IN A 10 WOMAN, 1 GOD ORGY.

    I AM XERES, DESTROY OF WORLDS!!!!!!

    [align=center]
    ME, XEREX, THE DESTROY OF WORLDS--STOMPIN ON MASSILOLIANS CHEST BONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COCAINE!~[/align]

    Two weeks later, Zwick's family is having a funeral. Only three people showed up. (Zwick will claim he banged one--O WAIT NO HE DIDNT CUZ HE IS WAS IN AN URN). So what's a playa to do? I slept with Zwick's mom and then killed her for crime's against humanity (birthing zwick = worst than the holocaust). I then looked at his ashes and did what a playa does.

    [align=center]
    Me, SNORTING ZWICK'S SOUL LIKE A BOSS via PIXIE STICK HUSTLE[/align]

    MassiLOLian GETS NO LOVE HERE. THAT IS WHY THEY GOT CRUSHED, MUCH LIKE A BUG AGAINST MY WINDSHIELD AT HIGH SPEEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • mallymal614
    Ummm okay?
  • gorocks99
    HAHAHAHAHA
  • Trueblue23
    Fucking awesome.
  • ernest_t_bass
    This is the type of crap I was hoping for on the "most annoying" thread. I'm glad it finally happened!
  • Firad
    Epic thread bro.
  • CenterBHSFan
    ahhhh.... I think I need a cigarette after reading that...
  • 2quik4u
    "The champ is here"
  • ts1227
  • pmoney25
    5/10
  • september63
    A Classic post. Someone may have a bit too much free time tonight though? Is Wed night the cellmates get access to the jails computer?
  • wes_mantooth
    I think I need some Lady Bligh after reading that.
  • osudarby08
    HAHAHAHA that was great.
  • skank
    It all backfired on Sage though when he tried to kill me. I was in the kitchen getting a snack after slappin the meat to this ho, all of a sudden Sage and his...."crew", bust in the door with their uzi's, or whatever wannabe thug gang bangers "carry" these days. I managed to escape, but after shreading up my "crib", and killing the innocent ho whom, did I mention I just got done doinking? They surveyed their damage, then and only then did they realize that Sage had just killed his mama. He then, as he admitted to in an earlier post, had sex with her corpse.
  • devil1197
    Are you fucking high?
  • ernest_t_bass
    skank wrote: It all backfired on Sage though when he tried to kill me. I was in the kitchen getting a snack after slappin the meat to this ho, all of a sudden Sage and his...."crew", bust in the door with their uzi's, or whatever wannabe thug gang bangers "carry" these days. I managed to escape, but after shreading up my "crib", and killing the innocent ho whom, did I mention I just got done doinking? They surveyed their damage, then and only then did they realize that Sage had just killed his mama. He then, as he admitted to in an earlier post, had sex with her corpse.
    FAIL
  • september63
    devil1197 wrote: Are you fucking high?
    That was a rhetorical question, right?
  • skank
    Serious question, were you speaking ebonics, or is spelling that low on your list?
  • september63
    skank wrote: Serious question, were you speaking ebonics, or is spelling that low on your list?
    You are talking about Ebonics to someone? LOL....Your own reply quotes slapping some meat to a Ho?
  • Society
    This guy definitely doesn't get enough attention from his hand.
  • SportsAndLady
    Athens laughs at the amateur quarrel
  • skank
    september63 wrote:
    skank wrote: Serious question, were you speaking ebonics, or is spelling that low on your list?
    You are talking about Ebonics to someone? LOL....Your own reply quotes slapping some meat to a Ho?
    You don't understand what ebonics is do you? You also don't understand sarcasm, hence the words crew and crib. Sorry, I forgot you were from (Ben) Dover.
  • Society
    SportsAndLady wrote: Athens laughs at the amateur quarrel
    Everyone in Athens? Ha Ha Ha...
  • Society
    skank wrote:
    september63 wrote:
    skank wrote: Serious question, were you speaking ebonics, or is spelling that low on your list?
    You are talking about Ebonics to someone? LOL....Your own reply quotes slapping some meat to a Ho?
    You don't understand what ebonics is do you? You also don't understand sarcasm, hence the words crew and crib. Sorry, I forgot you were from (Ben) Dover.
    SportsandhisHand would like to meet you.
  • ernest_t_bass
    skank wrote:Sorry, I forgot you were from (Ben) Dover.
    OOOO, sick burn! Sweet comeback, dude. Yeah! Rock on!