Relationship/Marriage Contract

• like_that

  

  I mentioned in the finance thread, that next time I am about to get in a relationship/marriage(for the serious folks), I am going to have a list of bylaws that this girl needs to follow, otherwise there will be no relationship/marriage, or the relationship/marriage will be terminated if she doesn't follow the bylaws. Here is what I have so far.
  
  -Must maintain sex quota
  ----Must do something kinky at least once a month
  -Don't bitch/nag about petty shit
  -Don't talk to me on sundays, especially if the Browns lose. (you may place your mouth on my penis, if that helps to prevent you from talking)
  -Either tell me what is wrong, or shut the fuck up.
  
  
  This is all I have so far. Looking for input, especially from the miserable married folks.
• gorocks99

  

  
• Gblock

  good luck with that
• majorspark

  

  If you get married you are destined for divorce.
• karen lotz

  

  Bitch/nag thing will NEVER happen.
• Gblock

  you better get a script for that
• karen lotz

  

  Gblock;898369 wrote:you better get a script for that

  
  And not one of ender's scripts. A script of pills.
• Raw Dawgin' it

  

  gorocks99;898362 wrote:

  +1.
• thavoice

  The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules, but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.
  
  Example:
  1. Prior to marriage the woman said she looks forward to the steelers games because I will be either going to them, or watching them with my friends and that gives her time to do whatever she wanted to do that day. AFTER marriage......wanting to go and watch the steelers with my friends then became "football is more important than me and this marriage?" and "I want equal cash equivlant for every dime you spend going to the steelers game".
  
  2. The sex part..........skinny dipping, on the hood of the car...whenever and wherever was good to go. After marriage......'ooooo, no way, why would I want to do that. Married people dont have sex.'
  
  3. Bitch and nag about petty stuff....Come on dude, only women who dont do that are deaf, mute and blind.
  
  4. Same can be said about telling ya what is wrong. You must be a fuckin mind reader.
• BR1986FB

  karen lotz;898368 wrote:Bitch/nag thing will NEVER happen.

  This is what I told him. They'll find a loophole.
• FatHobbit

  

  thavoice;898375 wrote:The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules,

  I doubt any woman is going to agree to those rules...
  

  thavoice;898375 wrote:but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.

  But this is 100% correct.
• like_that

  

  Alright the bitching/nagging thing was a stretch.
• Steel Valley Football

  This contract will be worth less than the paper it's printed on.
• like_that

  

  Steel Valley Football;898380 wrote:This contract will be worth less than the paper it's printed on.

  I will show you guys.
• Steel Valley Football

  thavoice;898375 wrote:The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules, but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.
  
  Example:
  1. Prior to marriage the woman said she looks forward to the steelers games because I will be either going to them, or watching them with my friends and that gives her time to do whatever she wanted to do that day. AFTER marriage......wanting to go and watch the steelers with my friends then became "football is more important than me and this marriage?" and "I want equal cash equivlant for every dime you spend going to the steelers game".
  
  2. The sex part..........skinny dipping, on the hood of the car...whenever and wherever was good to go. After marriage......'ooooo, no way, why would I want to do that. Married people dont have sex.'
  
  3. Bitch and nag about petty stuff....Come on dude, only women who dont do that are deaf, mute and blind.
  
  4. Same can be said about telling ya what is wrong. You must be a ****in mind reader.

  
  I don't know this word. Is that some kind of sexual breakfast thing?
• Steel Valley Football

  like_that;898382 wrote:I will show you guys.

  
  
  No ya won't!
• Raw Dawgin' it

  

  @thavoice - does your wife bitch at you for jerking off too? I don't get why some women care about that. It's my body, i'm allowed to touch whatever part of it i want.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  The only contract I'd have her sign is, if we get divorced, no child support, and the kids are not ever allowed to be around any of your BF's.
• thavoice

  FatHobbit;898377 wrote:I doubt any woman is going to agree to those rules...
  
  
  
  But this is 100% correct.

  Women, before marriage, are like kids at a toy store with their parents. When they really want something they beg and plead and promise so many things if you buy them that special toy. They promise to always been good, clean their room, get good grades, go to bed on time, clean their plate, do the dishes, cure cancer, and as soon as ya buy them that toy and they play with it for about 15 minutes at home they forget all about what they promised at the toy store.
• BR1986FB

  thavoice;898390 wrote:Women, before marriage, are like kids at a toy store with their parents. When they really want something they beg and plead and promise so many things if you buy them that special toy. They promise to always been good, clean their room, get good grades, go to bed on time, clean their plate, do the dishes, cure cancer, and as soon as ya buy them that toy and they play with it for about 15 minutes at home they forget all about what they promised at the toy store.

  True story
• enigmaax

  thavoice;898375 wrote:The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules, but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.
  
  Example:
  1. Prior to marriage the woman said she looks forward to the steelers games because I will be either going to them, or watching them with my friends and that gives her time to do whatever she wanted to do that day. AFTER marriage......wanting to go and watch the steelers with my friends then became "football is more important than me and this marriage?" and "I want equal cash equivlant for every dime you spend going to the steelers game".
  
  2. The sex part..........skinny dipping, on the hood of the car...whenever and wherever was good to go. After marriage......'ooooo, no way, why would I want to do that. Married people dont have sex.'
  
  3. Bitch and nag about petty stuff....Come on dude, only women who dont do that are deaf, mute and blind.
  
  4. Same can be said about telling ya what is wrong. You must be a ****in mind reader.

  Pretend I'm saying this thru a megaphone: KILL. THIS. SUCCUBUS.
• like_that

  

  Raw Dawgin' it;898388 wrote:@thavoice - does your wife bitch at you for jerking off too? I don't get why some women care about that. It's my body, i'm allowed to touch whatever part of it i want.

  I agree. If she doesn't like it, she could easily do something about it.
• Gblock

  i agree with the voice when before i was married it was great as soon as we got married it sucked complete 180 on everything. sex?? forget it. hence why i left after 1 year. a year later we got back together and she promised sex 3 times a week. that lasted exactly 1 week so about a year and a half later i left for good
• BR1986FB

  Gblock;898402 wrote:i agree with the voice when before i was married it was great as soon as we got married it sucked complete 180 on everything. sex?? forget it. hence why i left after 1 year. a year later we got back together and she promised sex 3 times a week. that lasted exactly 1 week so about a year and a half later i left for good

  It's like you walk through a door and everything changes. That's why I have no plans of doing it again.
• like_that

  

  Gblock;898402 wrote:i agree with the voice when before i was married it was great as soon as we got married it sucked complete 180 on everything. sex?? forget it. hence why i left after 1 year. a year later we got back together and she promised sex 3 times a week. that lasted exactly 1 week so about a year and a half later i left for good

  See, at least you left.