Married Men: When did you know..

• thePITman

  

  When did you know she was the one?
  
  My girlfriend and I have been a couple for over 19 months and known each other for almost 2 years, now. We have lots of similarities and interests, including our Faith, sports, and philosophy around money, children, etc. We have fun hanging out together. On the other hand, she is very pessimistic (I'm the opposite), her life is filled with drama with her friends and family, and she doesn't seem to be able to solve her own problems without freaking out the smallest things and then coming to me to settle her down.
  
  I have contemplated popping the question the last few months, but I just don't know, yet. I haven't bought the ring, and I haven't asked her mother (no father), and those obviously have to come first. Should I know by now? If we were to be broken up (if she did it or if I did it), I don't really think I'd be devastated. I'd be sad to lose a friend with whom I could do things, but I think I'd be fine moving on. On the other hand, she and I fit well together. But they always say "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." I'd hate to learn that lesson the hard way.
  
  It just seems for some two-week stretches, I know for a fact that she's the one for me. Then for another couple weeks I cannot stand her, and everything she does annoys me to my breaking point.
  
  So, what's your story? Ever been in the same situation? And no, I have no clue why I'm asking OhioChatter...
• LJ

  

  You just know.... I know that sounds cliche, but it's true
• justincredible

  

  You'd be making a huge mistake if you popped the question now. That doesn't mean she won't be "the one" in the future but she isn't right now. Like LJ said, you'll just know.
  
  BTW, my wife and I dated for 3 years, broke up for 7 or 8 months, then dated again for 2 and a half more years before getting engaged.
• Enforcer

  

  When Her Dad pulled the 12 gauge on Me And said Marry Her or Die
• 1_beast

  

  equal rights...make her get on her knees..... and she can propose when she finishes
• LJ

  

  LJ;863451 wrote:You just know.... I know that sounds cliche, but it's true

  
  When I say this i mean,` you have absolutely no reservations in popping the question.
• berry

  She taught elementary, and all her kids loved her. Just the thought of seeing her made me happy. One night I took her home, and her dad had locked the front door. We sneaked around back and tiptoed up the steps, and she kissed me on the deck. That pretty much settled the deal.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  berry;863519 wrote:She taught elementary, and all her kids loved her. Just the thought of seeing her made me happy. One night I took her home, and her dad had locked the front door. We sneaked around back and tiptoed up the steps, and she kissed me on the deck. That pretty much settled the deal.

  
  Gay
• Scarlet_Buckeye

  

  thePITman;863428 wrote:When did you know she was the one?
  
  My girlfriend and I have been a couple for over 19 months and known each other for almost 2 years, now. We have lots of similarities and interests, including our Faith, sports, and philosophy around money, children, etc. We have fun hanging out together. On the other hand, she is very pessimistic (I'm the opposite), her life is filled with drama with her friends and family, and she doesn't seem to be able to solve her own problems without freaking out the smallest things and then coming to me to settle her down.
  
  I have contemplated popping the question the last few months, but I just don't know, yet. I haven't bought the ring, and I haven't asked her mother (no father), and those obviously have to come first. Should I know by now? If we were to be broken up (if she did it or if I did it), I don't really think I'd be devastated. I'd be sad to lose a friend with whom I could do things, but I think I'd be fine moving on. On the other hand, she and I fit well together. But they always say "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." I'd hate to learn that lesson the hard way.
  
  It just seems for some two-week stretches, I know for a fact that she's the one for me. Then for another couple weeks I cannot stand her, and everything she does annoys me to my breaking point.
  
  So, what's your story? Ever been in the same situation? And no, I have no clue why I'm asking OhioChatter...

  
  You just answered your own question. If you have to ask others / turn to the Chatter / she drives you insane a couple weeks / you could live without her, then it's probably a TERRIBLE decision to pop the big question.
• SportsAndLady

  

  When u feel like your life is over
• lhslep134

  

  Scarlet_Buckeye;863526 wrote:You just answer your own question. If you have to ask others / turn to the Chatter / you drives you insane a couple weeks / you could live without her, then it's probably a TERRIBLE decision to pop the big question.

  
  +1. Gotta be a decision to make using only your own judgment.
• se-alum

  

  thePITman;863428 wrote:When did you know she was the one?
  
  My girlfriend and I have been a couple for over 19 months and known each other for almost 2 years, now. We have lots of similarities and interests, including our Faith, sports, and philosophy around money, children, etc. We have fun hanging out together. On the other hand, she is very pessimistic (I'm the opposite), her life is filled with drama with her friends and family, and she doesn't seem to be able to solve her own problems without freaking out the smallest things and then coming to me to settle her down.
  
  I have contemplated popping the question the last few months, but I just don't know, yet. I haven't bought the ring, and I haven't asked her mother (no father), and those obviously have to come first. Should I know by now? If we were to be broken up (if she did it or if I did it), I don't really think I'd be devastated. I'd be sad to lose a friend with whom I could do things, but I think I'd be fine moving on. On the other hand, she and I fit well together. But they always say "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." I'd hate to learn that lesson the hard way.
  
  It just seems for some two-week stretches, I know for a fact that she's the one for me. Then for another couple weeks I cannot stand her, and everything she does annoys me to my breaking point.
  
  So, what's your story? Ever been in the same situation? And no, I have no clue why I'm asking OhioChatter...

  I knew she was the one I wanted to divorce after about 8 months of marriage...
• thedynasty1998

  

  Even after you "know" wait a few months after that to propose.
• Cat Food Flambe'

  

  You didn't say how old the two of you are. If she's under 21, this is perfectly normal. Life kicks you in the butt pretty hard about that age, but you learn to roll with the punches and gain confidence. If she's more than 25, though, she might not "grow out of this. Take a good look at her family situation - if she had a rough childhood, give her more time as she learns to trust you and not automatically brace herself for the worst.
  
  Lady D'Friskies and I dated for almost five years before I proposed. I never really had "that moment" - we lived in different freaking time zones for all but the first two months after we met, and we both dated other people for four years as a result. The more I dated others, the more I realized that while she had faults, they were faults I could easily live with, and that she was the person I could actually spend my life with (It didn't hurt a bit that she was VERY attractive with an absolute killer body )
  
  I think I turned the corner during the 3-4 months when I graduated from college and was able to see her at least once a week somewhere out there - after that, dating others just seemed like a waste of time that I could be spending with her. I proposed as soon as I found out when and where I'd go after spending a year and a half as a roving management trainee. Too - I had competition - I couldn't wait forever.
• enigmaax

  berry;863519 wrote:She taught elementary, and all her kids loved her.

  So like, you were her student. No wonder you're here.
  
  Anyway, to the OP....OC rules state that she's the one when she a) listens to your voicemail when you're out running, b) lies about listening to your voicemail when you get back from running, c) wrecks your car, d) stiffs you on the insurance check from wrecking your car, and e) lies about stiffing you on the insurance check from wrecking your car.
• robj55

  

  Enforcer;863490 wrote:When Her Dad pulled the 12 gauge on Me And said Marry Her or Die

  
  lol!
• THE4RINGZ

  

  Even if you do get married there will be times when you can't stand to be around her. That doesn't change.
  
  I think you know when you cannot picture your life or future without her. If it seems impossible to make plans that don't include her.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  My wife is 31 and acts the same way, OP. Flips out about the smallest shit. Extremely high strung. She gets it honest, though, and I knew it going in. Day-by-day, I'm learning how to deal with it better, and that little quirk makes our marriage interesting.
• enigmaax

  ernest_t_bass;863636 wrote:Day-by-day, I'm learning how to deal with it better

  
  Yep, domestic violence. I ain't saying I condone it.....but I understand it.
• 1_beast

  

  If she lets you PIIHB she might be a keeper
• Tobias Fünke

  

  1_beast;863655 wrote:If she lets you PIIHB she might be a keeper

  
  "Save the ass for marriage." - one of my my high school football coach's advice
• GoChiefs

  

  If you don't know....its not the time.
  
  Met my wife in May of 2001, engaged on Christmas Eve of 2002, married in October of 2003.
• O-Trap

  

  I don't believe in "the one," other than "the one you decide to be with."
  
  I made a decision to spend the rest of my life with the woman who is now my wife. I intend to do just that, even during the times when she's the LAST person I want to be married to, because I love her out of choice, and there is nothing she can do to change that (shhh, don't tell her ).
• thePITman

  

  I will turn 25 at the end of this month, out of college for 3 1/2 years, in my own house, have had my career job for 3 years, a couple groups of good friends... She is 26 1/2, out of college for 2 years, nannying and working at a fitness place part time, lives with her sister (who is engaged & moving out in October), can't get along with her friends or family... I am an optimist and care-free, she is a pessimist and paranoid. We have lived exactly 1 hour from each other the whole time. We see each other almost exclusively on weekends.
  
  Those are some of our differences. But we have lots in common, too.
  
  We share the same Faith (for the most part), we both love sports (she's my partner for varsity football statistician, played tennis & soccer in college), we go to lots of Indians games, she loves my family and they love her (I don't really like hers), we're both cheap and low-maintenance, same tastes, etc. She treats me great, and she cares for me like I didn't expect. Each of the last 2 years she Haas gone to the state baseball tournament with me, watching all 12 games and taking turns keeping book every other inning.
  
  There's a reason we've been together a year and a half. Maybe she's the one, but I'm being too picky; and if I make that jump, I'll no longer be picky, but enjoy it. I dunno. I'm a technical, analytical person. When I bought an HD TV for my house, I stood and stared at the TV and those surrounding it for minutes after I knew I'd get it.
  
  I always want to quantify things. For her & our relationship I've tried making Pros v Cons charts to help rationalize one way or the other, to support some decision. Maybe it is just me, and I need to stop worrying... or maybe it is just me, and I need to wake up and realize that "I'd just know."
  
  A few years back I had two good friends, both of whom I had feelings for (mutual). Things fizzled during college days & after graduation. I knew as soon as both of them got engaged that I no longer believed "There is just ONE out there for you." Ever since, I've felt as if I'm settling.
  
  I'm so confused. My g/f has to find a place of her own in 2 months. She also applied for jobs in my area. If she gets one, she'd likely live w/ my parents (they offered). If she doesn't get one, she'll be on her own trying to pay rent w/o a "real job" (in her words), and unfortunately I'm not sure she can handle it. For the last few months I've had the end of August/mid-September set as a decision point, no turning back either way. But at the same time I don't want to rush one of the most important decisions.
• Scooter1369

  

  My wife and I were both in the military when we met. (her=Navy, Me=USMC). We had a crew of people we hung out with and started to pull away from them to be alone more and more. That's when we realized that we had something going and it was special.
  
  We had only known each other 4 months when I proposed, we married 5 months later. Next month is year number 18.