Family Parenting Dynamic

• se-alum

  

  Kind of a spinoff frome Ernests' thread. How does your family handle discipline of the children? In our family, the immediate family members, have carte blanche to discipline any of the kids at any time. I have whipped all 3 of my nieces in front of their parents. I know alot of parents want to be the only ones that discipline their kids. It probably helps that my family all follow the same principles as to how a child should act. So how does it work in your family??
• coyotes22

  

  My family all lives in Cali. So its just the wifes mom, two sisters, and step dad. They babysit our kids, and have permission to spank if needed.
  
  Her two sisters dont have kids. (yet)
• GoChiefs

  

  It all depends on the family member really. Some are more than welcome to smack my son across the face if he needs it, others, if they smack them, I'll be smacking them back.
• ksig489

  I have disciplined my nieces. My family is OK with it. My wife is due with our first in November...I doubt anyone in my family will discipline her (its a girl!) as none of them are nearly as strict as I am.
• DeyDurkie5

  

  ccrunner609;822491 wrote:wife and I will beat the shit out of our kids to a certain age

  
  great parent you are
• Timber

  Wife spanks daughter a little bit. I have chosen not to spank (5 year old daughter) thus far... It is a personal decision based on my temper. I have a tendency to get really pissed and I would never forgive myself if I crossed the line from spanking to "beating" my daughter. I do not want to be "that poor excuse for a Father."
  
  I really have to walk away and get control before I talk to my daughter when she is not behaving/responding in an approriate manner.
  
  No, I would prefer that no person spanks my daughter except for me, or her mother. I just feel they should not decide if the spanking occurs. If we believe she deserves a spanking based on her actions, we will administer the spanking/punishment. I want her to know improper actions come with consequences, not just fearing to be beat/spanked. I thought my parents did a good job of administering expectations, and getting the point accross to myself and siblings. The thought that we did not want to disappoint them by mis-behaving. I miss my parents both every day since they have passed. I saw a parenting model that worked pretty well.
  
  JMO, but I do not judge those who choose to parent differently.
• dwccrew

  

  Generally we cut fingers off the children. However, if we are feeling soft, we will just lash them with a cat o nine tails 60 or 70 times.
• power i

  

  When my husband and I got married, my daughter was 13 and my husband's kids were 3, 8 and 10. If something happened where there was an immediate need for discipline (ie a fight, back talking), whomever was around would do it. When it was something more serious, it was always discussed between the two of us. Neither one of us were big spankers, but I never would have spanked one of his kids. I have no problems with anyone addressing my child's bad behavior, but I think spanking should be for parents only. We are very lucky and our kids are generally very well behaved.
• Con_Alma

  I have never physically spanked either of my kids but it doesn't mean that I won't if it needs to be done.
  
  As far as other family members are concerned, if they have been disrespected by the actions of my kids I would expect those family members to act accordingly, then let me know what happened so that I might also have some "advice to give" to my kids. Any other situation that doesn't directly involve my family members I would expect them to make me or my wife aware so that we could address it.
• zambrown

  

  Like power_i, we have been fortunate to have a very well behaved, respectful son. I think I could count on one hand the number of times he was spanked and have fingers left over. If he started to get a bit full of himself and talk back or be disrespectful, we chose to use PT (push ups, etc). Made us feel better as parents and it actually benefitted him in the long run. One summer he won a t-shirt at 3 separate youth football camps by being able to do more pushups that anyone at the camp (high schoolers included). LOL
• Con_Alma

  zambrown;823404 wrote:Like power_i, we have been fortunate to have a very well behaved, respectful son. I think I could count on one hand the number of times he was spanked and have fingers left over. If he started to get a bit full of himself and talk back or be disrespectful, we chose to use PT (push ups, etc). Made us feel better as parents and it actually benefitted him in the long run. One summer he won a t-shirt at 3 separate youth football camps by being able to do more pushups that anyone at the camp (high schoolers included). LOL

  
  
  Make sure he's got those pull ups mastered too!!! There's better for him in wrestling anyway.
• justincredible

  

  Con_Alma;823401 wrote:I have never physically spanked either of my kids but it doesn't mean that I won't if it needs to be done.
  
  As far as other family members are concerned, if they have been disrespected by the actions of my kids I would expect those family members to act accordingly, then let me know what happened so that I might also have some "advice to give" to my kids. Any other situation that doesn't directly involve my family members I would expect them to make me or my wife aware so that we could address it.

  
  How old are your kids? Seems like they'd be older and moved out of the house. Good luck spanking them now.
• justincredible

  

  My wife and I don't have kids yet but we've had discussions about parenting styles. It's going to be a rough go once are kids are old enough to be disciplined. We were raised differently and have different views on parenting styles. She doesn't believe in spanking, at all, and I'm for it when it's needed. She thinks we need to have the same style, i.e. hers, and not spank. I think it is perfectly fine for us to discipline in different ways. Luckily we've got a while before it even matters.
• coyotes22

  

  justincredible;823421 wrote:My wife and I don't have kids yet but we've had discussions about parenting styles. It's going to be a rough go once are kids are old enough to be disciplined. We were raised differently and have different views on parenting styles. She doesn't believe in spanking, at all, and I'm for it when it's needed. She thinks we need to have the same style, i.e. hers, and not spank. I think it is perfectly fine for us to discipline in different ways. Luckily we've got a while before it even matters.

  
  You seem too educated to make this error.
  
  SMH
• Con_Alma

  justincredible;823417 wrote:How old are your kids? Seems like they'd be older and moved out of the house. Good luck spanking them now.

  One junior higher and one high schooler
• Fab4Runner

  

  I plan on spanking my kids but it will be many years before I have one so we'll see.
  
  I only have one niece but I would spank her if it was necessary. My brother and SIL would not care.
• justincredible

  

  coyotes22;823425 wrote:You seem too educated to make this error.
  
  SMH

  
  I'm a scientist, not a wordsmith.
• justincredible

  

  Con_Alma;823426 wrote:One junior higher and one high schooler

  
  Well, I was completely wrong. Still, good luck spanking them now. When I was that age the only effective discipline was a quick smack in the mouth.
• Con_Alma

  justincredible;823433 wrote:... When I was that age the only effective discipline was a quick smack in the mouth.

  Yeah, that could be considered in the family of a spanking.
• coyotes22

  

  justincredible;823432 wrote:I'm a scientist, not a wordsmith.

  
  That makes sense.
  
  Off topic,,,,,,,,, IDK if youre still looking for a printing press,,,, But i just checked again, and we have two, but they are still in SC, so it would not be cost effective for you, to get them from me. Sorry, i tried.
• justincredible

  

  Con_Alma;823436 wrote:Yeah, that could be considered in the family of a spanking.

  
  When I think spanking I can only picture an open hand to the butt. I was bigger than my mom, no way would she have been able to pull that one off.
• justincredible

  

  coyotes22;823441 wrote:That makes sense.
  
  Off topic,,,,,,,,, IDK if youre still looking for a printing press,,,, But i just checked again, and we have two, but they are still in SC, so it would not be cost effective for you, to get them from me. Sorry, i tried.

  
  Oh gee thanks. "I have exactly what you want! But it's too far away so you can't have it! HAHAHAHAHA, fuck your couch!"
• Con_Alma

  justincredible;823442 wrote:When I think spanking I can only picture an open hand to the butt. I was bigger than my mom, no way would she have been able to pull that one off.

  ...you would physically struggle to keep your mother from spanking you??? That wouldn't be received too well in our house. Size of the person isn't the determining factor as much as respect for the authority of the one disciplining.
• FatHobbit

  

  justincredible;823421 wrote:She thinks we need to have the same style, i.e. hers,

  
  This applies to so many things once you're married.
• coyotes22

  

  justincredible;823444 wrote:Oh gee thanks. "I have exactly what you want! But it's too far away so you can't have it! HAHAHAHAHA, fuck your couch!"

  
  Well, crap man, if you want them that bad!!!! LOL
  
  Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?!