Is a lack of sex grounds for ending a marriage?

• Cat Food Flambe'

  

  We found out this weekend that the woman who was my wife’s maid-of-honor is divorcing her husband of almost 30 years. They had other issues (no affairs or alcohol/drug problems, just a case of "empty nest" adjustment), but she told my wife that the reason she gave up on trying to fix things was his refusal to ..well…perform his “husbandly duties” for the last year, and that this was not something she was going to live without.
  
  Both of them were good friends from our college days - we were certainly surprised. The woman is very attractive for her early fifties – while I know everyone has a dark side, she really doesn’t seem to be one of those “behind the scenes witches” (we all know a few of them). From the sounds coming from the guest room whenever they'd visit, I don't think sex was a problem for them until recently, either (for the record, she is a moaner).
  
  Her husband never complained of any problems, and seemed to be his regular self when they came up for our daughter’s wedding last fall.
  
  I still it hard to believe that the guy wouldn’t touch his wife for over a year. Is that justification for ending a marriage?
  
  Let’s get this out of the way…inviting her over for a threesome is right out – and I’m NOT going to try and do her myself. She and my wife have no secrets between them, and I want to live to see another birthday. 
• Gardens35

  Cat Food Flambe';776938 wrote:....
  
  I still it hard to believe that the guy wouldn’t touch his wife for over a year.

  
  Eventually she'll blame Muggsy.
• I Wear Pants

  He's gay.
• LJ

  

  maybe she wasn't doing her part to try to spice things up?
• DeyDurkie5

  

  maybe she just won't take it in the butt?
• Tobias Fünke

  

  these have all been terrific responses haha
• Curly J

  

  It would be for me...just sayin'
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Wife has to do a little work.
• Little Danny

  

  ED??
• THE4RINGZ

  

  How much weight has she gained?
• Cat Food Flambe'

  

  Almost none - she's in her early fifties, and is frankly a very attractive woman.
• sherm03

  

  It would be a deal breaker for me.
  
  I actually applaud her for calling it quits and not staying in a marriage while she goes out and gets it from someone else behind the dude's back.
• Little Danny

  

  To answer the original question, I do believe a lack of sex is grounds for divorce. Other than the obvious, I see no difference in abstaining from sex with your spouse and infidelity. In both scenarios you are cheating your spouse. The person who is with holding sex is putting themselves in a dominant position over the other.
  
  I think in this scenario the wife needs to have a serious discussion with her spouse to see what the issue at hand is. Is it due to a lack of interest? A change in sexual preferences? Health reasons?? I think after 30 years she is entitled to that. From there the couple needs to figure out what action needs to take place to rectify the situation. Maybe he is just waiting on her to make the first move??
• THE4RINGZ

  

  Maybe after all these years she final realized he simply isn't throwing it to her right. You gotta keep current on your skills.
• gut

  Take away his porn. Problem solved...
• O-Trap

  

  All she's gotta do is let him PIIHB. Problem solved.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  gut;777170 wrote:Take away his porn. Problem solved...

  
  This might be a good answer.
• tk421

  

  How come whenever someone in a marriage stops having sex, whether the husband or wife, it's always the husband's fault either way?
• tcarrier32

  

  Tobias Fünke;776967 wrote:these have all been terrific responses haha

  
  this was my reaction, of the first 10 or so that responded, none had anything other than a joke to crack. hahah
• password

  

  If she is ready to file for a divorce without asking him what is wrong and not trying to fix the problem, she is already cheating on him or they have a lot of other major problems that she is not telling you about. She could be all sweet and nice outside the home while in public, then be a real bitch and a total asshole behind closed doors.
• dwccrew

  

  Without sex your relationship just becomes a friendship. Divorce time (if counseling and all other possibilities have been attempted).
• Con_Alma

  Issues surrounding sex and/or money are the leading causes of divorce. Both require good communication skills over the life of the marriage to keep each person in sync with the other.
• Manhattan Buckeye

  Little Danny;777146 wrote:To answer the original question, I do believe a lack of sex is grounds for divorce. Other than the obvious, I see no difference in abstaining from sex with your spouse and infidelity. In both scenarios you are cheating your spouse. The person who is with holding sex is putting themselves in a dominant position over the other.
  
  I think in this scenario the wife needs to have a serious discussion with her spouse to see what the issue at hand is. Is it due to a lack of interest? A change in sexual preferences? Health reasons?? I think after 30 years she is entitled to that. From there the couple needs to figure out what action needs to take place to rectify the situation. Maybe he is just waiting on her to make the first move??

  
  Even before the concept of "no fault" divorce became popular, wasn't this a common law situation - that is, grounds for divorce was failure to provide marital services.
  
  At any rate, sounds like the guy has a major issue - the key is honesty. Be honest with your spouse, for whatever reason. Sounds like he isn't.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  I blame Bush. (Pun intended)
• ernest_t_bass

  

  [video=youtubejkLf_X88WM][/video]