Letter of Resignation

• ernest_t_bass

  

  I have to prepare one and want to turn it in this Friday. I'm a head softball coach, and my time is up, time to move on. What are some suggestions on what to put in the letter. I've never had to write one before.
• Con_Alma

  Include a thanks for the opportunity and well wishes of continued success
• j_crazy

  

  uh, it should be short.
  
  to whom it may concern,
  
  it's time for me to move on. i'm not able to devote myself to this team the way i should. i thank you for the opportunity to impact these young peoples lives and wish you nothing but success in the future.
  
  love,
  
  ETB
• Heretic

  

  DON'T include any taunts concerning how many chicks on the team you boned. Just because you're no longer affiliated with the program doesn't mean you're in the clear as far as particular legal issues go.
• LJ

  

  Admit to all the student-teacher hookups
• Raw Dawgin' it

  

  "Peace out you punk bitches! Come back next year when I puts a little eggnog in your face!"
• queencitybuckeye

  For personal reasons, I am resigning the position of Head Softball Coach of Butt Secks High School effective May 31, 2011.
  
  Sincerely,
  ETB
• OneBuckeye

  

  Beer League or High School? Or inbetween?
• gerb131

  

  Lots of good suggestions
• Heretic

  

  Heretic;765148 wrote:DON'T include any taunts concerning how many chicks on the team you boned. Just because you're no longer affiliated with the program doesn't mean you're in the clear as far as particular legal issues go.

  LJ;765149 wrote:Admit to all the student-teacher hookups

  With us giving him conflicting advise, how is poor Ernest ever going to figure out how to write this letter?
• LJ

  

  Also let them know that they need to fix the hole in the wall between your old coach's office and the girls locker room showers.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Heretic;765148 wrote:DON'T include any taunts concerning how many chicks on the team you boned. Just because you're no longer affiliated with the program doesn't mean you're in the clear as far as particular legal issues go.

  
  I am honestly surprised that it took 3 posts to finally get one of these. Well done, heretic, but shame on the rest of you!
  
  Just kidding. I like the above suggestions (minus the sarcastic ones )
• Heretic

  

  LJ;765160 wrote:Also let them know that they need to fix the hole in the wall between your old coach's office and the girls locker room showers.

  
  And that the reason the girl who batted .085 was still in the starting line-up every day was because she was willing to use it as a glory hole. A real team player, that one.
• Thread Bomber

  

  Make sure to suggest snottie as your replacement.
• j_crazy

  

  i came here thinking this was going to be another flameout like when snotty left.
• Heretic

  

  I'm just happy that for me, the placed advertisement at the top is for STDalert.com. When you can take a thread about resigning from coaching a softball team and derail it to the point one of the ads for the page is for testing for STDs, you've done something worth talking about!
• Belly35

  

  ernest_t_bass;765141 wrote:I have to prepare one and want to turn it in this Friday. I'm a head softball coach, and my time is up, time to move on. What are some suggestions on what to put in the letter. I've never had to write one before.

  
  You want me to write it?
• justincredible

  

  j_crazy;765146 wrote:uh, it should be short.
  
  to whom it may concern,
  
  it's time for me to move on. i'm not able to devote myself to this team the way i should. i thank you for the opportunity to impact these young peoples lives and wish you nothing but success in the future.
  
  love,
  
  ETB

  
  Go with this.
• Iliketurtles

  

  Dear fucktard,
  
  It's time for me to take my balls and go home.
  
  Signed,
  
  ETB
• password

  

  Explain to them that the job just doesn't pay enough and you do appreciate the opportunity they gave you., if it was not for them trusting you to coach these fine young girls, you would not be able to launch your new website, "Ernest hits a home run", a collection of hidden camera shower scenes and the vast collection of videos where you are working 1 on 1 with the girls teaching then the proper way to grip a bat and how to delicately juggle softballs with one hand.
• OneBuckeye

  

  Don't forget to blame SB5.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  How does this sound?
  
  

  Dear ...
  
  I am writing to formally notify you that I am resigning from my position as Head Softball Coach at Ohio Chatter High School when my duties for the 2011 season are complete. At this time I feel that I am not able to give my full attention to my coaching duties so I feel it is the right decision for both my family and me.
  
  I appreciate the opportunities I have been given the past three years and your professional guidance and support. I wish you and the softball team success in the future.
  
  Sincerely
  
  ETB

• justincredible

  

  There's no such thing as Ohio Chatter High School.
• Heretic

  

  And you probably should sign it with your real name and not your message board handle. They'd probably think that would be kinda weird. Weirdo.
• wes_mantooth

  

  justincredible;765532 wrote:There's no such thing as Ohio Chatter High School.

  
  There should be...I would have my kid transfer immediately.