So I jump ship in Hong Kong

• ZWICK 4 PREZ

  

  And I make my way over to Tibet...and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
• tuskytuffguy

  License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.
• Mountlax

  

  The only good varmit poon-tang, is dead varmit poon-tang.
• karen lotz

  

  My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
  
  Your uncle molests collies
• tuskytuffguy

  ^^^I've never seen this female on here yet, might I say:
  
  "This thread is worthless without pics!"
• karen lotz

  

  
  
  hey now
• tuskytuffguy

  OMG!!!
• karen lotz

  

  jk that isn't me, its a pic my roommate's ex gf sent to me of herself...
• ytownfootball

  

  That was random...not unappreciated...but random
• Rod_Belding

  

  i was borrrrrrrrrrrrrrn to love you
  i was borrrrrrrrrrrrrrn to lick your face
  i was borrrrrrrrrrrrrrn to rub you
  but you were born to rub me first.
  
  
  let's go into the.. uh.. patio.
• karen lotz

  

  Double turds!
• Rod_Belding

  

  I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips
  You will get nothing and like it!
• karen lotz

  

  You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
  
  Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch
• Rod_Belding

  

  He was night putting..... just putting at night... with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean
• karen lotz

  

  You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way
• Rod_Belding

  

  Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir.... and I NEVER slice!
• karen lotz

  

  Bushwood...a DUMP??
• karen lotz

  

  I think this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell them you're Jewish, OK, fine.
• Rod_Belding

  

  you beast, you savage.... c'mon bark like a dog for me!
  
  <link>http://www.entertonement.com/clips/ymmcxjwmrw--Bark-like-a-dog-for-meBill-Murray-Caddyshack-Carl-Spackler-</link>
• karen lotz

  

  Thank you very little
• Quint

  

  Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key.
• TBone14

  

  He was a brown nose Lou, you hated him.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Spalding, get your foot off the boat!
• ZWICK 4 PREZ

  

  Hey Whitey, where's your hat?
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Colored boy? I'll shine you...