https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/03/26/teen-boys-rated-their-female-classmates-based-looks-girls-fought-back/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.d32939713951

So, upon learning of this "hot or not" list, girls suddenly perceived a culture that wasn't safe, harassed, etc...

I also thought it was funny how one girl was complaining her mom said a 3rd ear piecing wasn't professional and she should wear her hair down.  I disagree, but the reality is people are going to judge you throughout life.....and high school juniors/seniors should not still be dealing with adversity by retreating to safe spaces.

Wait, so you are upset, the students got together in a room and talked out the issue? 

I saw no problem with this. The female students had a problem with the list. They then talked through with the guys why it was an issue and the guys understood and changed their behavior. 

But it isn't an issue. That's the point.

posted by queencitybuckeye

But it isn't an issue. That's the point.

To you. To them it could be. Are you a teenage girl and can fully understand their issues? 

No one was arrested, no one was suspended, or harshly disciplined that would go on their record. I see no problem with this. 

posted by ptown_trojans_1

To you. To them it could be. Are you a teenage girl and can fully understand their issues? 

No one was arrested, no one was suspended, or harshly disciplined that would go on their record. I see no problem with this. 

I understand that the only thing that could be an issue is hurt feelz, and I am completely over giving a fuck about that. Not only is it a disservice to the too easily offended, it is a disservice to society as a whole allowing the terminally sensitive to control the conversation.

posted by queencitybuckeye

I understand that the only thing that could be an issue is hurt feelz, and I am completely over giving a fuck about that. Not only is it a disservice to the too easily offended, it is a disservice to society as a whole allowing the terminally sensitive to control the conversation.

Gotta agree with Ptown here......

While it may not be an issue to you, it was to them...and they handled it in a very adult and mature fashion.

Too bad Washington, and our society won't take a less on from these folks.....

posted by ptown_trojans_1

Wait, so you are upset, the students got together in a room and talked out the issue?

No, and that was probably the best course of action.

However, the boy was disciplined.  Just detention, but then that wasn't enough.  And I particularly took issue with the fact that it was implied he should have had something on his permanent record.

Teenage boys and girls talk about and rank their classmates on looks.  But someone puts that on paper and now you're offended?  So you can pretend that reality doesn't exist, but now you're hurt when a piece of paper disrupts that reality?

It was juvenile and immature.  It's all part of growing up, for everyone.  This should not have been an issue.

posted by wkfan

Gotta agree with Ptown here......

While it may not be an issue to you, it was to them...and they handled it in a very adult and mature fashion.

Too bad Washington, and our society won't take a less on from these folks.....

Demanding punishment? Fuck. Them.

posted by wkfan

While it may not be an issue to you, it was to them...

They are shocked and triggered to "suddenly discover" guys are looking at their ass.  C'mon!

1. I believe it was mostly handled well compared to so many cases of SJW crap we see today. The girls maybe went SLIGHTLY too far with the "my mom said I shouldn't get a 3rd ear ring and that's due to misogyny" or whatever. They probably went too far asking for it to be on the kids permanent record. But the way they gave their reasons to the kid as to why it bothered them was very mature of them to be honest.

2. Let's not act like boys and girls (and for that matter men and women) don't "rank" members of the opposite sex. Men rank mostly on looks, women may include other things in their "rank" but they still rank. The big tadoo here is that they 'wrote it down'? Does ANYONE think that this meeting and understanding will stop the boys from looking at the girls when they get up to go to the bathroom (one of the complaints mentioned)? Biology and sexual attraction won't change. No one will be dumb enough to write it down from now on.

As someone who was a teenage girl (albeit years ago lol) I would say that back then, we girls would have probably made the list and who didn't or even which list we were on. We wouldn't have been upset - we would have been curious.

I honestly wonder why young girls TODAY are asking for Victorian norms. Choose if you want to be strong and independent young women/girls that can navigate this without overthinking it or helpless victims of everyfuckingthing under the sky. 

posted by jmog

No one will be dumb enough to write it down from now on.

 

 

Looks like Uncle Joe has a new problem.  Should be swept away by Monday.

posted by QuakerOats

Looks like Uncle Joe has a new problem.  Should be swept away by Monday.

LOL.....Dems secretly want 4 more years of Trump.  It's a love-hate relationship - he fulfills their physiological need to be outraged.

I really don't think this is so bad.

Yeah, a call for punishment seems ridiculous, but actually sitting down and hashing it out is more mature than most adults.

Maybe getting upset, insulted, offended, triggered, or whatever else adjective we want to throw out there is ridiculous at times, but I fail to see the problem in hashing it out and being willing to make some adjustments to the way we live in the spirit of living in each other's daily space.

Hopefully, these kids see the merit in handling problems this way as opposed to just vying for a majority and voting the other group into obligation.

posted by O-Trap

I really don't think this is so bad.

Yeah, a call for punishment seems ridiculous, but actually sitting down and hashing it out is more mature than most adults.

Maybe getting upset, insulted, offended, triggered, or whatever else adjective we want to throw out there is ridiculous at times, but I fail to see the problem in hashing it out and being willing to make some adjustments to the way we live in the spirit of living in each other's daily space.

Hopefully, these kids see the merit in handling problems this way as opposed to just vying for a majority and voting the other group into obligation.

I am 100% in agreement with your post. I actually completely agree with how they handled it (other than demanding some type of punishment/permanent record stuff). 

Even though I disagree with their being offended about it (seriously, most men AND women silently 'rate' the opposite sex), the way they handed it, overall, was more mature than most adults.

posted by jmog

I am 100% in agreement with your post. I actually completely agree with how they handled it (other than demanding some type of punishment/permanent record stuff). 

Even though I disagree with their being offended about it (seriously, most men AND women silently 'rate' the opposite sex), the way they handed it, overall, was more mature than most adults.

Sure.  When I was in school, both girls and boys made lists with actual ranks and such.  None of our little egos were bruised.  Nobody I know felt threatened.  Certainly, nobody acted like they felt threatened.

But shoot, if it doesn't sit well with someone, and you want to get along, you do what you can to work with them, right?  Maybe you try to reason with them and talk it out, hoping that a new perspective will make them feel less offended or uneasy.  If that doesn't work, maybe you come up with set compromises.  Maybe it's dumb to be offended by something like that, but maybe it's better to just let it be and find a way to exist in spite of how dumb it might be.

posted by O-Trap

Sure.  When I was in school, both girls and boys made lists with actual ranks and such.  None of our little egos were bruised.  Nobody I know felt threatened.  Certainly, nobody acted like they felt threatened.
 

My junior year, in American History I sat next to this girl who was gorgeous - a little shy and conservative but just a very nice person with a face that always made me melt - I'd had a crush on her a couple years before but never had the nerve to talk to her.  After I was over it, I could actually talk to her like a human being.

So one day she and another girl are tittering in class, passing papers back and forth. I get nosy and ask what's so funny.  She says, "Well, it's a - uh - well, a "meter", and she's blushing.  Right away I guessed where this was going, but I kept pressing her on what kind of a meter.  She's says, "Oh, you know - It's a p- ..... a p- .... you know, a ... meter."   And she keeps covering her mouth and blushing.

I said, "Oh, I see.  And is there a list of guys in there showing where exactly they fall on this "meter"?"  She nodded yes, still hiding an embarrassed smile.  I asked if by chance I made the rankings,  She said I was "kinda in the middle of pack".  I asked if her boyfriend was ranked.  She holds up a finger and thumb about a half-inch apart .... and just about collapsed in a puddle.

I let her off the hook at that point, but I did learn two important things:

- the gals in my class were just as bad as us guys

- I had been relegated to "average".  Perfect.  Just what I wanted to hear.  But I survived somehow.