Living at Home

• ernest_t_bass

  

  What is it with today's generation of 20-somethings and living at home? I'm 36 years old, and I could not wait to get out from under my parent's roof. Just about every single friend I had/person I knew (of same relative age) had the same plans. Had friends get a shit-ass apartment right out of HS so they could live on their own, and they had situations where their parents would allow them to live however they wanted anyway.
  
  
  Two examples that I have seen that completely blow me away, and I just can't wrap my head around it (it's the parent's fault).
  
  
  1) My nephew, age 23 I think, lives at home with his mom and dad. Went to the workforce right out of high school, and he has a steady job working with his uncle in HVAC. Has a work van, works as many hours as he wants, has/had little-to-no debt (just bought a new truck, but only recently). No college debt, no loans (besides truck, now). Nothing. Here is the kicker. This kid owns a house and he rents it out.
  
  
  - Opinion - This is 100% on the parents. I'd be charging this kid rent, or his ass would be OUT, now.
  
  
  2) Kid that graduated from the school I teach, probably 23-25 range. Is a local business owner (financial consultant business with a cousin). I ran into him last week and asked him how he's doing (well), and asked him where he's living now. "Oh, I'm shacking up with the parents." I laid into him in an attempt to make him feel stupid. "Are you fucking kidding me!? You own a business, and you are living with your parents!? Why!?" He just laughed and shrugged it off. To him, he was completely blind to the lack of responsibility it showed.
  
  
  - Opinion - Again, on the parents. You either kick in with the rent, or you GTFO.
  
  
  Thoughts? What is it with today's generation that see their parent's home as their forever home?
• Ironman92

  

  I don't know much of those types but know there are plenty out there. My cousin is 24, bounces around jobs like crazy and in and out of my aunt's house.
  
  Parents definitely part of the problem.
• Ironman92

  

  On the flipside as a parent of a 21 year old in her 4th year of school...she hasn't stayed at home since leaving high school and this summer she'll be working at a site near home and should be staying with us most of the summer. I'm pretty excited about it. She will always be welcomed if ever needed later in life.....but guessing this will be it unless she gets located back home in a couple years and needs a place to stay for maybe a month until she finds a place to buy.
  
  Not what this thread is about I know but I'm about old enough to see the other side of it a bit.
  
  A 22 year old having never left and never going off to school needs to be ready to get out ASAP though IMO.
• SportsAndLady

  

  If someone wants to live with their parents, why not? Why do you care if someone saves some money by living with their parents? If the parents are cool with it, and the kid doesn't care, why would they make you say "are you fucking kidding me?!" To the kids face? Lol
  
  Edit: I never lived with my parents after college. I had no interest in doing so. But I have no problem with others doing it. Different strokes for different folks.
• Heretic

  

  
  
  It's fun watching ETB gradually turn into a meme.
  
  "I don't get kids today! They don't do things exactly how I did back in the day!"
  
  Especially funny since he's ragging on the kids' "lack of responsibility" (because it's really irresponsible to want to save up a nest egg instead of spending all your income on day-to-day living) and then concluding it's the parents' fault. If the younger person is cool with living with his folks and the folks are cool with the younger person living there, what the fuck is the problem, lol?
• Fab4Runner

  

  I lived with my parents from 24-27 and it was the best thing ever. No ragrets.
• Con_Alma

  My wife lived with her parents after college until we got married. They charged her rent. When she left they gave it all back to her in a lump sum.
• BRF

  

  SportsAndLady;1849361 wrote:If someone wants to live with their parents, why not? Why do you care if someone saves some money by living with their parents? If the parents are cool with it, and the kid doesn't care, why would they make you say "are you fucking kidding me?!" To the kids face?
  

  I was thinking about posting something like this before I read this............ so no need to post........I agree.
• friendfromlowry

  I see the phrase about walking a mile in someone else's shoes before criticizing them isn't thought of here. It may not apply to scenario #1 since they're family, but maybe with the second guy there is something personal going on at home he doesn't feel like talking about.
  
  Shit I lived in apartment from age 21-23 and wish I hadn't. My best friend who recruited me to live there was up his girlfriend's ass and never around. The other guy was Asian and we probably didn't say more than twelve words to each other the whole two years. Complete waste of money.
• GOONx19

  

  I don't personally know anyone in their 20s who lives with their parents, unless still in college. I know about 1000 people in their 20s who do not live with their parents. Hope this helps. Sorry the young adults in your circle have no ambition.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  I guess the OP was missing these, in my opinion:
  
  1) Kids who are in college, or who are in transition from HS/college to their career would be an exception.
  - In my two examples, both have comfortably settled into their adult lives and into their careers
  
  2) Kids, or even adults, who have run on tough times (laid off, wife/husband left, b/t houses) would be an exception as well, in my opinion.
  - Neither situation in my OP fits this scenario.
  
  My gripe is that these two particular individuals have left the nest... only without actually leaving the nest. To me, it seems odd for both parents and children.
• mcburg93

  

  Im in the "I give a fuck about what others do" category. If someone chooses to live at home with their parents and the parents have no problems with it so be it. Who am I to tell others how to live. Just cause I do not agree with it does not mean I have to be against it. I moved out a few months after graduating high school. I ended up buying my parents house when my dad was diagnosed with dementia to help them with some extra cash. I moved back in a year after buying and sold my house. I now help my mother with taking care of my father. I have no shame in this situation. I did build me an apartment in the garage so I had my own personal space. Although my father tends to hang out there with me even if he dont know who I am on occasions.
• Mulva

  

  SportsAndLady;1849361 wrote:If someone wants to live with their parents, why not? Why do you care if someone saves some money by living with their parents? If the parents are cool with it, and the kid doesn't care, why would they make you say "are you fucking kidding me?!" To the kids face? Lol
  
  Edit: I never lived with my parents after college. I had no interest in doing so. But I have no problem with others doing it. Different strokes for different folks.

  This is my thought as well.
• Trueblue23

  

  Heretic;1849389 wrote:
  
  It's fun watching ETB gradually turn into a meme.
  
  "I don't get kids today! They don't do things exactly how I did back in the day!"
  
  Especially funny since he's ragging on the kids' "lack of responsibility" (because it's really irresponsible to want to save up a nest egg instead of spending all your income on day-to-day living) and then concluding it's the parents' fault. If the younger person is cool with living with his folks and the folks are cool with the younger person living there, what the fuck is the problem, lol?

  This is my favorite.
  
  The old generation hates the new generation that they raised.
  
  Thing were great back in the day. You could provide for a family and buy a home/car on that 40 hours a week at the mill.
  
  You know, unless you were a minority or a woman.
• BRF

  

  I have a daughter who lives in a nice new development in Richmond Hill GA (suburb of Savannah).
  
  And there are many over 21 children and even extended family living in the homes in that hood. They work and provide that paycheck for the mortgage. (Probably cheaper than living on your own)
  
  My point was that many of those $300,000 slapped up homes have 2, 3 and some 4 wage earners under that roof.
• Laley23

  

  Graduated college, moved back home for 3 months. Got my own place for 2.75 years. Moved back home while trying to better my career. Got a job in NC and moved out after about 4 months at home.
  
  Basically never lived at home, aside from transitioning, but no issues with it. My wife did it for 3 years after college and because of it we had an extra 150k down payment on our house. Would've trade that for her "independence" in a million years.
• BRF

  

  ^^^^^ "wouldn't have traded it" ......perhaps?
• OSH

  

  Left home at 17 after graduating HS. Only lived with parents through holidays and for 2 summers in college. Haven't seen them but 2-4 times a year since 2007-2008.
  
  I don't blame people for living at home when/if they can. I've been fortunate enough to have 3 families take me in while I was in transitions between college/jobs or job/job. I know my parents would have loved to be the ones taking me in there, and I would've gladly spent more time with them.
  
  If it works for individuals and families, so be it.
• Pick6

  

  I have not lived at home for more than a month or two a year since I've been 18. I have one friend that I graduated high school with that still lives with his parents and really does whatever he wants. Some want "independence", but he'd rather spend the money on life experiences like hunting trips to Alaska. I've got no doubt his bank account is fat.
  
  One girl I work with lived at home for a year and paid off something like 35k in student loans in that time frame then moved out. Another is living with her parents while building her dream house.
  
  I do know a few people that I've met in school that still live with their parents. Their reasoning is they don't make a whole lot, and thats fine. What I don't understand if the excuse of not having any money when you have no/very little bills.
  
  I'd probably live with my parents if I could to accelerate net worth growth, its just not realistic considering what I do any where I grew up. A year or two longer with them would be well worth retiring early or whatever your goals are, IMO.
• O-Trap

  

  A couple things:
  
  First, the distaste for multi-generational homes is a cultural one, and not a moral one. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with it. There are cultural backgrounds where it is not only normal, but expected. Leaving the home early was a sign of rebellion, not independence. Much to the contrary, in fact. The younger generations are expected to help bear the burdens of the home, clean, take care of the older ones if necessary, watch children, if necessary, and help with the bills. It's not a case of mooching. If anything, it's a case of having more responsibilities than just themselves.
  
  Second, if you take inflation, the average starting wage, and the cost of living into account, it's simply more expensive to live than it used to be. Kids are getting out of college with $80,000 or more in debt, a degree that they only got because prior generations told them to "chase their dreams" (such bullshit), and an entry level job that doesn't enable them to cover rent, a beater car payment, student loan bills, their own cell phone plan (and/or Internet), food, and utilities. Or, even if they are barely able to cover those things, perhaps they and their parents see the value in them working to get out from under some of the debt before they move out. I can certainly see a lot of value in that.
  
  Prior generations were able to support themselves, and sometimes even families, on a single income that required no school or experience beyond high school. That's simply not the case anymore, and it has nothing to do with work ethic.
  
  Now, granted, there are some who do it purely because they're lazy and unambitious, but there are plenty of reasons to do it that don't include someone being a leech. I was moved out of my parents' home about six months after I graduated college, and since I was getting married shortly after, it really wouldn't have been an option to stay longer, but if that hadn't been the case, I can see the financial value in doing so. I mean, I still probably would have insisted on paying rent and covering a portion of the utilities, but beyond that, there's value in it if there is a plan in place to help get the kid to a better financial position before leaving.