Loved Ones With Alzheimer's

• CenterBHSFan

  

  So, I've mentioned a time or two within these forums that I take care of my mother. In 2001 I moved back to Ohio to take care of her, primarily, and her husband, whose own health wasn't very promising, either. Together, they couldn't manage their house anymore, so that's where I stepped in to take over - so to speak. Her husband has since passed away so now it is just her. I have aways promised her that I would take care of her until... I could not.
  
  Background info: My mother has CHF, degenerative arthritis of the spine, scoliosis, asthma, COPD/emphysema, bouts of pancreatitis and diverticulosis, anxiety and myriad other problems.
  
  Several years ago, I started noticing that she was beginning to be forgetful. For example: Whenever we'd drive by a business or a house she would say "I remember when that was first built" every single time we went by it, like she had never said that to me before. She'd start forgetting that she had already called a family member earlier in the day or she would forget to tell me that she had called her doctor to set up an appointment. As time went on, these little lapses of memory loss increased and I grew concerned. The first thing I did was call her pharmacy and ask the pharmacist if her long list of prescriptions could be in some way conflicting each other and causing such issues. He called me back after reviewing it and said that, no, they most likely weren't the reason. A few weeks later, I decided to go ahead and make an appointment with her doctor to explore this some more. He immediately scheduled her for a full "work up" of testings to see if they could pinpoint the causation.
  To make a long story shorter, it was diagnosed as dementia under the umbrella of Alzheimer's. Lately, she's started to exhibit the signs of the middle stages of Alzheimer's, but not actively enough to make that determination.
  She could be in this stage for the rest of her life. Considering her other physical problems, it's very probable. Or, she could rapidly progress at any time.
  This is, and has been, a very difficult time for not only her, but myself and the rest of her family and friends. Last year, I got a white board and use that daily to remind her of things. I selfishly admit that I did this to help prevent the almost constant repetition of explaining things to her. But, it works and helps a lot.
  I am only able to work part-time at this point and that's for me to be able to get out of the house for a few hours a day. She has a wonderful aide that comes in during that time and an awesome RN that checks up on her, consistently, too. I know that my time working even 4 hours a day is on the clock, but I still am gratified to get that much time on my own. I'm not fully complaining about that, but a break is nice.
  
  It has been an exhausting three years. There are many "ups" but almost constant "downs". As I type this up I realize that it's been about 45 minutes since she's asked me something that she's already asked at least 3 or 4 times today. For us, that is an "up"!
  Lately, I've explored and thought about joining a local group of Alz families as a way to find out other tips and tricks, finding better ways to cope and give my boyfriend's shoulder a break from being constantly soaked. God bless him.
  
  So what about everybody else here? Have any of you any experience with this disease? If so, have you joined a support group? Or know of anyone who is swimming through these murky waters?
• Spock

  

  Current father in law is in a patient facility. Absolutely knows nothing. Its basically just waiting for the body to die cause the rest of it is gone. Uncle also the same
• salto

  

  My mom and dad pretty much are getting to the bat-shit crazy stage. Rambling on and repeating stories. Have not completely lost it, yet.
• friendfromlowry

  Sorry to hear about all of this. Working in healthcare I've seen a lot of families struggle with this. You're certainly not alone.
  
  My mother-in-law, "only" in her mid-60s seems to be on track for it. I've heard a lot of the same stories more than a few times. She's very forgetful, too.
• Zunardo

  My mother died from dementia 2.5 years ago - never knew if it was actually Alzheimer's or something else, but the decline was steady over a 10 year period. She hid it well, would never admit to anyone she was sick, but she developed these strange speech mannerisms to "mask" her inability to express herself.
  
  The last year my father realized he had to put her in a care facility. She lasted two months, and each day she slipped a little bit further. On the last day, she collapsed getting out of bed, and we were called. When we got there, the nursing coordinator said her body was shutting down. My father and I held one of her hands that last hour of her life. She was 85.
  
  She has two younger brothers that have the same thing at a younger age. The youngest just turned 70 and has been in a slow and steady decline the last 5 years - and with the same odd speech mannerisms Mom had. Two older brothers died of other causes, no sign of the same symptoms, and her two sisters also show no sign.
  
  We're not sure if there was a hereditary component here or not. Her mother was sharp as a tack when she died in her late 80's.
• cat_lover

  I'm caring for my 89 year old mother with dementia.Funny thing she still can follow baseball and basketball but as far as knowing what day it is or remembering birthdays and stuff like that,that part is gone.
• QuakerOats

  Sorry to hear; it is extremely difficult. My siblings and I have been caring for our parents for about 5 years now, once we saw things starting to slide. Lost our Dad about 2 years ago (he was the better of the two) and our Mom now lives with one of my sisters. She pretty much has full blown dementia and her body weight has declined significantly. We have a nurse all day, and all the siblings pitch in on the weekends to watch her; obviously a full-time job around the clock. We did the assisted living facility when Dad was still alive, but that would not work once he passed. Frankly, I wish we had not done that looking back, but we all thought it was best at the time. Live and learn. I was able to secure a fair amount of aid & attendance benefits from the VA; I handle their finances and their house, which we finally just sold a couple months ago. Thankfully there are 5 siblings who all put in their time to care for her; my sisters all qualify for sainthood for their generous giving. I cannot imagine one person ever being able to handle the job. Mom is not eating much now and I do not think there is much more time left, but she can still be conversant 'in the moment', although she could not name us by name or discuss current events. I do believe she is aware that she is surrounded by people who love her and are caring for her and are devoted to her completely during her final journey here.
  
  I will remember to say an extra prayer today for all you caregivers out there doing the Lord's work. God bless.
• CenterBHSFan

  

  QuakerOats;1837502 wrote: although she could not name us by name

  This is one of the things that I fear the most in the future with my mother. Not knowing who we are. My heart aches at the thought of it.
  

  I will remember to say an extra prayer today for all you caregivers out there doing the Lord's work. God bless.

  Ditto!
• Heretic

  

  CenterBHSFan;1837512 wrote:This is one of the things that I fear the most in the future with my mother. Not knowing who we are. My heart aches at the thought of it.

  As someone who had a family member go through Alzheimer's, that's the roughest part. You're basically watching them not only deteriorate physically, but also mentally to the point where their memories of you are really vague, to the point where they might just know you as their "buddy" or some other term. I think, for loved ones dealing with that disease, that is both the toughest thing to deal with and the toughest to emotionally recover from. At least it was for me.
• Azubuike24

  

  Grandmother battled it for 5 years and it was awful.
  
  If I could do it over, or if my parents ever get to that point (and I'm in charge), they are going to change their diet and lifestyle. Ketogenic, anti-inflammatory, etc...it's the only thing really shown to be able to actually reverse the effects. Not just accepting that what is gone, is gone.