Transfer for work

• j_crazy

  

  So as I'm sure many of you know, I work for an oil company. Part of what drew me to this line of work was the fact that it's somewhat nomadic, you go where the work is. Since graduating Marietta College in 2007, I've lived in Cody and Riverton in WY, Lafayette, LA, Houston, TX and as of today, I'm being transferred to OKC. Early on, this was super exciting, and even now it is. Moving to a new town, with new work, meeting new people, it's really a great experience. However, I've got 2 kids now and my daughter is just finishing up her 1st grade year at school and my son is just getting settled into all of his activities. The last time we moved, our kids were 3 and <1 so it really didn't affect them too much. With them having "social lives" and getting into their own things, this move has me stressing quite a bit.
  
  My question is. Some of the more "seasoned" OC'ers out there, have you ever had to uproot the family and go somewhere else? Any tips? I ordered a couple e-books about moving with kids, but I figured Belly or Curly J would have some tidbits that maybe weren't' published.
• like_that

  

  Good story.
• hasbeen

  

  No experience other than interactions with older kids who have moved a bunch...
  
  I think I'd only be concerned if I expected to move 2+ more times before they graduated high school. I could see moving at 9 and then moving at 14 would probably suck socially.
• j_crazy

  

  hasbeen;1789265 wrote:No experience other than interactions with older kids who have moved a bunch...
  
  I think I'd only be concerned if I expected to move 2+ more times before they graduated high school. I could see moving at 9 and then moving at 14 would probably suck socially.

  My gut tells me, moving now and likely moving again in 3-5 years, then once more (likely back to Houston) towards the end of my career.
• Fab4Runner

  

  Sounds sucky. I would have hated moving once I was in school. I know plenty of kids do it and survive it, but I would have despised it.
• Apple

  

  With your move this time, my guess is, given their current ages, your kids will probably not even remember it in a few years. What you can do as a parent is try to make it a positive experience so that those things they do remember will be good thoughts.
  
  Would be nice to be able to work it out so that the move is after school lets out for the summer. However, if is has to be now, it will give her a leg up on meeting kids and making friends for when she starts 2nd grade. Keep in mind that kids go to different schools moving from elementary to middle to high school, so it is already in their futures that they will have to, at least partially, "start over" and make new friends.
  
  Kids are resilient and they can adjust. It does, however, take work on the part of both parents.
  
  Rent the movie Inside Out and watch it with your wife, (before watching it with your kids). I know it's an animated movie, but it touches on many of the issues that kids go through when their parents move the family.
• sherm03

  

  I've never experienced moving my family personally. But when I was 10, my parents bought a new house and I had to change schools. From the kid's perspective, it's a really shitty feeling to basically have to start all over. My parents got me involved in the Little League in the new part of town before we had even settled into the new house. I think that's the key. Get them going in extra curricular activities so they can start making new friends immediately. It will help ease the transition for them.
• rrfan

  

  That is the reason I took a new job about 5 plus years ago. I was going to have to move 3-5 times in about 8 years. Left the job and got one that pays way better and treats employees fantastic. Moving kids in school is something I personally said I would not do. It is very tough decision but do everything you can to help your kids.
• Zunardo

  Never done it, no experience doing so - I decided long ago I wasn't adventurous enough to want to do it. I went to school with a lot of fellow students whose fathers were in the Air Force, and I never liked having them leave our school when the dad was reassigned to a new base. In high school there were a couple of guys I graduated with who had only been there one year because their dad had just transferred in. I can't even imagine what that's like, but all the base kids stuck together and I imagine they had their strategies for dealing with it.
  
  Oil company - nomadic life? Interesting. About ten years ago I got back in touch with a guy I'd gone to school with, he got is petroleum engineering degree, and he had a lucrative job with Exxon (I think) while living in Louisiana. The catch was, he'd have to travel by plane, car, boat, and helicopter to an oil platform off the coast of Africa and work 4 weeks straight, 12 hour-days, no days off - and then they'd fly him home and he'd have 4 weeks off, then repeat the process.
  
  That's like having the best of both worlds - or maybe the worst of both, depending on how you look at it. I do know he was pretty well-compensated for it. Since I'm in the training field, he sent me several job announcements for well-paying training jobs with similar schedules, although you had to have some knowledge about platform drilling operations, which I did not. I told Mrs. Zunardo about them, she looked at the announcement and benefits package, and said, "See you in four weeks!" ...........
• Iliketurtles

  

  I don't have kids but I did move around a lot as a kid. I went to 3 different schools from K-4th grade. I don't really remember much and never seemed that bad but before 5th grade when I was 10 we moved from Florida to Ohio... and it was the worst. In your case I would think now with them being in grade school isn't that bad but I just feel like once they start getting close to middle/high school it would definitely suck to have to move and change schools.
• like_that

  

  I was an Air Force brat so I moved all the time. Luckily I was able to stay at one high school for all 4 years, which was/is most important imo. I think it's great for being diversified and getting cultured. You learn there is more out there than just your home town. It also taught me how to meet new people and make new friends, which seems to raise anxiety for a lot of college freshman.
• j_crazy

  

  like_that;1789284 wrote:I was an Air Force brat so I moved all the time. Luckily I was able to stay at one high school for all 4 years, which was/is most important imo. I think it's great for being diversified and getting cultured. You learn there is more out there than just your home town. It also taught me how to meet new people and make new friends, which seems to raise anxiety for a lot of college freshman.

  This is a good point that I hadn't thought of.
• Ironman92

  

  As a teacher who has been in both the elementary and high school levels I can say the elementary kids seem to struggle a bit but the high school kids acclimate themselves much quicker. There are dozens of factors of course. Leaving friends is never easy...meeting new friends is a good thing though.
• friendfromlowry

  Ironman92;1789315 wrote:As a teacher who has been in both the elementary and high school levels I can say the elementary kids seem to struggle a bit but the high school kids acclimate themselves much quicker. There are dozens of factors of course. Leaving friends is never easy...meeting new friends is a good thing though.

  I don't know anything about moving or having kids relocated so about anyone is more knowledgeable than me. But this surprises me. I would have figured J_crazy's daughter is still at that age where moving schools isn't all that horrifying.
• Commander of Awesome

  

  like_that;1789284 wrote:I was an Air Force brat so I moved all the time. Luckily I was able to stay at one high school for all 4 years, which was/is most important imo. I think it's great for being diversified and getting cultured. You learn there is more out there than just your home town. It also taught me how to meet new people and make new friends, which seems to raise anxiety for a lot of college freshman.

  I also moved around a few times growing up. Wasn't a big deal until High School, moving after sophomore year sucked.
• Ironman92

  

  friendfromlowry;1789326 wrote:I don't know anything about moving or having kids relocated so about anyone is more knowledgeable than me. But this surprises me. I would have figured J_crazy's daughter is still at that age where moving schools isn't all that horrifying.

  On day 1 it's easier because the young kids are all enamored at the new kid...but unless they are just alike it's very short-lived. Often the new kid becomes friends with the other recent new kid of the class. Jr high and high school they are being judged from head to toe but after that period there are some many different things to get into (sports, clubs, organizations etc) that they often mesh right in.
• Curly J

  

  like_that;1789284 wrote:I was an Air Force brat so I moved all the time. Luckily I was able to stay at one high school for all 4 years, which was/is most important imo. I think it's great for being diversified and getting cultured. You learn there is more out there than just your home town. It also taught me how to meet new people and make new friends, which seems to raise anxiety for a lot of college freshman.

  ^^^This.
  
  As far as moving with a kid mine was 3 years old when I was transferred to Hill AFB Utah, so not much impact. I had already been away from her for the first year and a half of her life due to training and being stationed in Korea.
  
  When I was growing up between 4th grade and 7th grade I went to 6 different schools due to moving. Lucky that the last school I attended was from 7th grade until graduation. I was a little traumatized when we moved from Ohio to Tennessee in 4th grade. Mainly because I'd lose my friends from Kindergarten until then. Once we got to Tennessee I didn't want to move back to Ohio a year later as I loved it there.
  
  like_that nailed it though. I think it taught me a lot by meeting different people every year.
• Dr Winston O'Boogie

  

  I have moved several times. Most recently from Cleveland to Birmingham, AL this past fall. I have a 9 year old daughter and wife.
  
  My advice is to seek a place out in your new town where there are some other transplants. We did that here and it has made a great difference into "breaking in" to the community. People who have been through the experience tend to be more open to welcoming you in to social circles, etc. I've done it the other way - moved into an older community where everyone was "from there" and found it much more difficult to establish roots.
  
  Good luck.
• Belly35

  

  I moved a lot.... I turned out OK