Having Children

• Fab4Runner

  

  If you have kids, how did you decide to go ahead and do that? I've always wanted 3-4 kids, but actually making that happen is downright terrifying to me.
  
  I am interested to hear responses from a bunch of dudes.
• GOONx19

  

  Don't have kids, hoping for 2-3 someday. Probably won't start thinking about it for another 5 years. My wife and I want to do some traveling and live a few different places first.
• OSH

  

  We have 2. Probably will have more.
  
  We talked about it, didn't have any timeline. Just trusted that the time would be right when our kids came. Wife was on birth control, mainly for endometriosis. The idea was to get the birth control out of her system for awhile and use protection other ways. Typically they say it takes at least 6 months to get the whole birth control effects out of the system, she was pregnant in 3 months.
  
  Kids are great. The practice in making kids is great. We decided to practice a lot before we had kids. Wife has an IUD now, had some issues with baby 2 (nothing critical/damaging, just scary). Doctor suggested waiting a bit before any kids next -- ours are 12 months and 23 days apart. Really, both were unplanned, but we accept kids anytime, anywhere, and anyhow. Probably will end up fostering/adopting at some point too.
• SportsAndLady

  

  OSH;1787658 wrote:We have 2. Probably will have more.
  
  We talked about it, didn't have any timeline. Just trusted that the time would be right when our kids came. Wife was on birth control, mainly for endometriosis. The idea was to get the birth control out of her system for awhile and use protection other ways. Typically they say it takes at least 6 months to get the whole birth control effects out of the system, she was pregnant in 3 months.
  
  Kids are great. The practice in making kids is great. We decided to practice a lot before we had kids. Wife has an IUD now, had some issues with baby 2 (nothing critical/damaging, just scary). Doctor suggested waiting a bit before any kids next -- ours are 12 months and 23 days apart. Really, both were unplanned, but we accept kids anytime, anywhere, and anyhow. Probably will end up fostering/adopting at some point too.

  Practice in making kids?
  
  You mean fucking?
• Fab4Runner

  

  GOONx19;1787657 wrote:Don't have kids, hoping for 2-3 someday. Probably won't start thinking about it for another 5 years. My wife and I want to do some traveling and live a few different places first.

  I'll be almost 32 by the time I get married, so I can't wait toooooo long if I really want at least 3. I have had mild baby fever for a few years now, but knowing the actual time to start a family is coming up soon has me freaked out, lol.
• Raw Dawgin' it

  

  I have one - it was pretty spontaneous. She was never on birth control and one night just didn't pull out. 10 days later she had a positive test. I think just deciding in the moment was the best.
• hasbeen

  

  Fab4Runner;1787656 wrote:If you have kids, how did you decide to go ahead and do that?

  Got drunk and had sex without a condom and no birth control.
  

  Fab4Runner;1787656 wrote:I've always wanted 3-4 kids

  I'm one of three. My GF is one of three. I'd like to have 3-4 as well. All depends on finances. I'll probably try for #2 after I finish my masters hopefully next spring.
  

  Fab4Runner;1787656 wrote:but actually making that happen is downright terrifying to me.
  

  This was my favorite part.
  
  Your part will be harder. You know, getting fat, swollen ankles and feet, general discomfort. And then pushing 8 lbs baby out.
• FatHobbit

  

  Kids are great. This morning my son gave me a big hug and said "I not like daddy. I like mommy"
  
  I had one daughter as an oops in college. I got married at 37 and "we" wanted kids but I would have waited a bit more. She wanted to start pretty much right away and we compromised and had 2 kids.
  
  They are definitely life changing
• sleeper

  

  SportsAndLady;1787659 wrote:Practice in making kids?
  
  You mean fucking?

  That's usually the polite way of putting it, yes.
  
  I plan on having a ton of children. The constraints are how many my future wife wants and if I can find a woman who wants me more than just my money.
• vball10set

  sleeper;1787669 wrote:
  I plan on having a ton of children. The constraints are how many my future wife wants and if I can find a woman who wants me more than just my money.

  lol
• Fab4Runner

  

  hasbeen;1787664 wrote:Got drunk and had sex without a condom and no birth control.
  
  
  I'm one of three. My GF is one of three. I'd like to have 3-4 as well. All depends on finances. I'll probably try for #2 after I finish my masters hopefully next spring.
  
  
  
  This was my favorite part.
  
  Your part will be harder. You know, getting fat, swollen ankles and feet, general discomfort. And then pushing 8 lbs baby out.

  I am one of five, and I have two stepbrothers and two stepsisters. I love having a lot of siblings. I can't imagine having an only child (they're usually weird...I know this because my mom is one) and I think having two is boring.
  
  Not worried about pregnancy or giving birth. Just the actual changing your entire life and having a human to raise. It sounds great, and I know I want to be a mother. But making that decision to start is what is hard for me.
• Commander of Awesome

  

  Raw Dawgin' it;1787663 wrote:I have one - it was pretty spontaneous. She was never on birth control and one night just didn't pull out. 10 days later she had a positive test. I think just deciding in the moment was the best.

  You're a credit to our species.
• 4cards

  

  ...Fab I have 2 kids (both now grown) and the decision on when to have them really wasn't set in stone. The only thing we both wanted was to be out of the apartment and into a house before we had them, so about 3 years after the move we had our first. The only suggestion I would have is be comfortable in your relationship with your husband first as it makes things a lot less complicated and be sure you both are on the same page on how you plan to raise your children. Some couples never think about what types of schools the kids should attend, religion (if any) they should be raised in...etc.
  
  You guys will be fine
• Commander of Awesome

  

  4cards;1787698 wrote:...Fab I have 2 kids (both now grown) and the decision on when to have them really wasn't set in stone. We wanted to be out of the apartment and into a house before we had them so about 3 years after the move we had our first. The only suggestion I would have is be comfortable in your relationship first with your husband as it makes things a lot less complicated.

  Honest question here, would you marry someone that weren't already comfortable with in the first place?
• 4cards

  

  Commander of Awesome;1787700 wrote:Honest question here, would you marry someone that weren't already comfortable with in the first place?

  ...Some people live together for years and are very comfortable until they put their names on a piece of paper and things change. My brother is a prime example of this. He thought things were great after living together for quite a few years, got married & once they became "man and wife", she changed overnight from the person he thought he knew into the wife from hell.
• Automatik

  

  Recently watched the latest episode of Vice.
  
  
  I don't think I'm gonna have kids.
• HitsRus

  

  You are never ready for them psychologically or financially, and if you wait till you are, it may be too late. If you are already 30, just stop using birth control and come what may. Even if you do that, it could be years before you conceive.
  
  I say this from a perspective of being up against the wall being told by doctors that we might not be able to have kids. My wife had lost an ovary to cysts when she was young, and we had gotten married in out mid/late 20's....we were waiting "for when we would be ready financially" when my wife developed cysts in her remaining ovary, and we were being told that she probably wouldn't be able to have kids. Fortunately, our OB was a skilled surgeon and he was able to remove the cysts leaving a sliver of ovary and a slim chance to have children. Suddenly, finances didn't mean much anymore. She was able to concieve a year later, and despite a heartbreaking miscarriage and another close call, we were able to have a child....and then another...and another!
  
  A day does not go by that I don't thank God and the surgeon (who has long since passed) for my children. He called my first born his "miracle baby", so unusual and tenuous his existence hung upon.
  I cannot imagine my life without my children or what it might have become....and now we have grandkids...the joys of my life till the end of my days.
• Fab4Runner

  

  HitsRus;1787712 wrote:You are never ready for them psychologically or financially, and if you wait till you are, it may be too late. If you are already 30, just stop using birth control and come what may. Even if you do that, it could be years before you conceive.

  Or I could be 6 months pregnant on my wedding day. No thank you, lol.
• jmog

  Wife was on the pill for both of our first two, so we didn't actually plan it lol. They were both accidental pregnancies.
  
  Better to to do it early. I will only be 45 when my YOUNGEST graduates high school.
• HitsRus

  

  Fab4Runner;1787719 wrote:Or I could be 6 months pregnant on my wedding day. No thank you, lol.

  I wasn't saying that at all.
  I was saying that you shouldn't assume that you have all the time in the world to have babies...things happen...it gets harder to conceive. If you are over 30 and you want children, you shouldn't delay because of relatively unimportant (in the scheme of things)reasons. By all means, wait till after your married. LOL.
• Fab4Runner

  

  jmog;1787723 wrote:Wife was on the pill for both of our first two, so we didn't actually plan it lol. They were both accidental pregnancies.
  
  Better to to do it early. I will only be 45 when my YOUNGEST graduates high school.

  Well that ship has sailed. But I've done whatever I've wanted the last 13 years, and I have no regrets.
• Fab4Runner

  

  HitsRus;1787742 wrote: I wasn't saying that at all.
  I was saying that you shouldn't assume that you have all the time in the world to have babies...things happen...it gets harder to conceive. If you are over 30 and you want children, you shouldn't delay because of relatively unimportant (in the scheme of things)reasons. By all means, wait till after your married. LOL.

  Oh, I fully realize that. I believe we won't wait long to try mainly for that reason.
  
  I don't want to be knocked up on my wedding day, tho. It's not a religious or moral thing. Just how I feel.
• FatHobbit

  

  Commander of Awesome;1787700 wrote:Honest question here, would you marry someone that weren't already comfortable with in the first place?

  I also think sometimes you (or your spouse) can live with differences in your spouse because they are grown adults making their own choices but when you have kids you feel responsible for raising them correctly. When your spouse disagrees with what is correct for your children it can be an issue.
• Con_Alma

  Wanted 8-10.
  
  Was married for 7 years before our first was born Second one was 18 months later. Stopped at 2 due to the significant, permanent damage my wife endured in the second delivery.
• ZWICK 4 PREZ

  

  We have 2. That's all we want. It just kinda happened after we got married because we knew we wanted kids, were financially safe, so we didn't protect against kids. It just kinda happens.