Devils Advocate
Girls:
Assia – You just can’t give an American baby a name that contains the word “ass.”
Beautyful and Pretty – She better be.
Disney – Product placement?
Erie – Lake, yes. Ontario or Michigan, maybe. But Erie is just eerie.
Goodness – Most teenagers would take this as a dare.
Ikea – A Big Box name.
Money and Pryce – Uh…no.
Richard – Every year there are a handful of girls named Richard….and George and David, and boys named Charlotte and Sophia. Clerical mistakes? Sometimes, probably. And then other times, they’re just mistakes.
Rosary – Saints’ names and other religious names can work, but this takes baby-name-as-devotion too far.
Shady – Weather names – Sunny, Snow – can work, but then there’s the other meaning of Shady.
Stonie – Will create a rocky path for your child.
Vegas – What happens in Vegas…
Younique – Unfortunately not.
Boys:
Abass – See Assia.
Carrion – Baby name roadkill.
Dolton – If Colton is a popular baby name, and Bolton and Knowlton can work as first names, then Dolton….nah.
Emperor – Why not Tyranius?
Hamlet – Shakespearean names as far out as Romeo can work, but Hamlet is also saddled with that “Ham” syllable.
Handsome – See Beautyful and Pretty.
Harshit – Harshit and Harshita are Sanskrit names with a lovely meaning: full of happiness. But they don’t translate well into English.
Kartier – Klassy.
Maximum – Max or Maxim would have made the point.
Messer – Takes the Badass Baby Name idea, ala Ranger and Wilder, too far.
Patch – Future pirate?
Princeten or Prinston – Maybe he’ll get into Yale.
Ralphy – Middle name: Boy.
Rambo – Scary, yet not as scary as the six boys named (yes, really) Rage.
Vader – Ready for a lifetime of Star Wars jokes?