Abstinence Is the Way to Go... Even After "I Do."

• ernest_t_bass

  

  http://www.larknews.com/archives/217
  
  
  Edit... it's satire.
  
  
  
• Heretic

  

  Abstinence is the way to go?
  
  Maybe if you're a eunuch or impotent.
  
  
  But yeah, this has to be a parody site. The articles on there are kinda funny, like the one with the boy mentioning how he saw heaven during an operation...but grandma wasn't there...
• gorocks99

  

  About their founder:
  

  One radio report described his writing as &#8220ithy Christian satire on par with the irreverence of Saturday Night Live and The Onion.” His website, LarkNews.com, earned the Christian industry’s top honor, the Grady Nutt Humor Award, during Dove Awards week in Nashville in 2005 and made Joel the subject of profiles in Christianity Today and leading secular magazines.

  Yep, that's satire.
• justincredible

  

  It's a satire site.
• gorocks99

  

  I think it's satire.
• karen lotz

  

  Could be satire.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  
• justincredible

  

  ernest_t_bass;1427559 wrote:

  Calm down, Dan.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  I feel like I should be reporting claims on a national scale, in regards to the Boston Marathon bombing.
• Midstate01

  

  More like abstinence is what happens ONCE you get married.
• Heretic

  

  ernest_t_bass;1427562 wrote:I feel like I should be reporting claims on a national scale, in regards to the Boston Marathon bombing.

  ETB NEWS NETWORK:
  
  3:21 p.m.: Found couple who haven't had sex. Two years after getting married. Claim that abstinence is the way to go...even after marriage.
  
  3:30 p.m.: NOTE: It has come to our attention that the above story is actually a hoax. We apologize for the inconvenience.
  
  
  Ah, you're about three falsehoods and two backtracks away from being part of the Boston-related media, man.
• dlazz

  I think the story is satirical in nature.
• hasbeen

  

  Is this satire?
• Mohican00

  

  larknews - possibly satire
• DeyDurkie5

  

  It's confirmed satire.
• cruiser_96

  

  The Boston Herald, Fox News, and CNN are all reporting that this is satire.
• Mohican00

  

  cruiser_96;1427808 wrote:The Boston Herald, Fox News, and CNN are all reporting that this is satire.

  NYPost confirms 12 dead, though
• ts1227

  

  The Ohio General Assembly inserted a rider into the budget that essentially says to teach this in sex ed, so no one told them it was satire
• reclegend22

  

  After carefully gathering all of the information provided here, I think this is satire.
• Sonofanump

  [INDENT]Who cares? Next week it will be the same shit. ETB will start four spin off threads after three weeks snot will make fun of him along with COA and l_t then sleeper will switch back to talking about Notre Dame's bowl record.[/INDENT]
• cruiser_96

  

  Sonofanump;1428026 wrote:[INDENT]Who cares? Next week it will be the same ****. ETB will start four spin off threads after three weeks snot will make fun of him along with COA and l_t then sleeper will switch back to talking about Notre Dame's bowl record.[/INDENT]

  I don't think this quoted posted is satire.
• reclegend22

  

  I don't even want to know the origin of the "Who cares. Next year it will be the same shit" post/meme. It appeared in a Duke thread once and it was gold.
  
  Reminds me of the time some guy came on here trying to sell electronics in every single thread on the board lol.