Archive

Funny Coach Stories

  • Midstate01
    In hs bball we did this drill called deer drill where it was long baseball passes in case of a latr game situation. So one guy goes streaking towards the basket and the passer throws a baseball pass to him. One day a kid threw the pass a little long and the jv coach was ripping a players as on the opposite baseline. Mid yelling the pass hit him square in the side of the face. The gym went completely silent. Then what felt like forever later he just went back to yelling. We laughed later and now when we talk to him about it but def not then.
  • said_aouita
    like_that;1422362 wrote:I just don't see how this relates to the theme of the thread.
    My xc and track coach stories are not as cool as ffl's and dlazz's ccrunner stories.
    I guess if you could see the video of JJ vs. Tucker his 1st day at Graham, you'd understand how it's funny....
  • ernest_t_bass
    said_aouita;1422457 wrote:My xc and track coach stories are not as cool as ffl's and dlazz's ccrunner stories.
    I guess if you could see the video of JJ vs. Tucker his 1st day at Graham, you'd understand how it's funny....

    How long have you coached at Graham?
  • like_that
    said_aouita;1422453 wrote:A coach throwing team members outside and through swinging doors is more funny plus a better story than telling about some coach made his team run to make weight.

    Hope this helps.
    Believe me little guy, you don't need to explain to me why your story was a fail. Your story was barely a "coach story" to begin with and it sure as hell wasn't even close to being funny.

    In fact the funniest part of that story is probably the fact your old ass was sitting in that room watching practice living through high school boys.

    Hope this helps.
  • sportchampps
    When our club soccer coach got mad he came up with all kinds of stupid shit to do to us. One of his favorite was header drills. He would stand about 10 yards away and throw the ball as hard as he could and if we didn't head it we had to run a mile. There were a few kids who would choose to just run.

    When we were 14 we lost for the first time in 2 years. We actually lost 3 in a row mainly because people were being lazy. Well the 2 weeks after we didn't touch a ball at all. For 3 hours he would just come up with the dumbest stuff for us to do. Some examples were running miles carrying the goalposts, doing pushups until we could name everyone on the team in alphabetical order by first name followed by last name ( every time someone messed up we started over.). Moving all the goalposts over 1 field then moving the final goals back to the first field, a 2 mile game of leapfrog any dumb punishment that involved running.
  • Tiernan
    ^^^
    This is funny because you think soccer is a sport.
  • said_aouita
    like_that;1422466 wrote:Believe me little guy, you don't need to explain to me why your story was a fail. Your story was barely a "coach story" to begin with and it sure as hell wasn't even close to being funny.

    In fact the funniest part of that story is probably the fact your old ass was sitting in that room watching practice living through high school boys.

    Hope this helps.
    Good try at another attempt of a slam. OK, fine....you didn't think my story is funny. Happens a lot.
    Go Browns.

    I was working for JJ and getting paid to be there.


    Hope this helps.


    Sure wish I knew more about you and your family. After some studying I may be able to understand and explain why you are so angry.
  • Commander of Awesome
    said_aouita;1422502 wrote:Good try at another attempt of a slam. OK, fine....you didn't think my story is funny. Happens a lot.
    Go Browns.

    I was working for JJ and getting paid to be there.


    Hope this helps.


    Sure wish I knew more about you and your family. After some studying I may be able to understand and explain why you are so angry.
    Obvious butthurt is butthurt
  • skank
    said_aouita;1422502 wrote:Good try at another attempt of a slam. OK, fine....you didn't think my story is funny. Happens a lot.
    Go Browns.

    I was working for JJ and getting paid to be there.


    Hope this helps.


    Sure wish I knew more about you and your family. After some studying I may be able to understand and explain why you are so angry.


    Ever see deliverance? There ya go.
  • skank
    like_that;1422237 wrote:The whole Mike Rice situation made me think about how coaches in the past could have easily gotten away with that, and nobody would have had a problem with it. There are some old timers here, just wondering if you guys have any funny stories to share about your coaches. Although my coaches are old school, I am not that old, and they didn't do anything out of the ordinary that would bring the lulz.

    A couple stories I heard from my other coach who wrestled for Massillon Perry brings the lulz. If anyone knows Dave Riggs, apparently he is a hardass. One story consisted of making a bus stop 2 miles away from the hosting school of the tournament (in the snow), and making his wrestler run all the way to the school in order to make weight.

    Another story involved one of his wrestlers fooling around with an All State football player's (offensive tackle) girlfriend. The football player found out that the wrestler (all of 130 pounds) was messing with his GF. So, he found his way in the wrestling locker room, and punched the kid in the face a couple times. Blood was every where. After the football player left, Riggs comes out of his office and asks wtf happened. The teammates tell him the story, and Riggs looks at the kid and says "shouldn't have messed with his girlfriend."


    Um, you ask if anyone has a funny coach story, then you proceed to tell 2 stories, neither of which were funny, and more importantly, neither were yours. FAIL.
    like_that;1422348 wrote:That's not a funny coach story. Thanks.


    I have yet to see a funny one, at least his story was his own.
    like_that;1422362 wrote:As a wrestler, I can see that. Some wrestling rooms are... unique. So, I am sure this wrestling room there were doors on the walls of the wrestling room that led to the area he was speaking of. I just don't see how this relates to the theme of the thread.


    Wrestler? Haha. You were a wrestler? Also, here's another case where you "don't see how it relates to the theme, (who has thread themes? Gay?) Again, they have their own stories, theirs relate more than yours does.
    like_that;1422466 wrote:Believe me little guy, you don't need to explain to me why your story was a fail. Your story was barely a "coach story" to begin with and it sure as hell wasn't even close to being funny.

    In fact the funniest part of that story is probably the fact your old ass was sitting in that room watching practice living through high school boys.

    Hope this helps.


    Your "go to" move is to accuse people of liking young boys when you feel threatened....We get it.
  • skank
    Cue the....

    HIGH SKOO FOOTBAWW.

    Line....Hilarious.
  • justincredible
    This thread is close to being moved to the basement. Cut out the shit.
  • LJ
    We had an old Vietnam vet/Vietnam era Drill Sargent as our D-coord/RB coach/LB coach. He was funny as shit but intense as hell. He would kick lineman in the ass and yell "get that ass down or you're gonna get it shot off!"

    One day at an after school practice he came out wearing his Nike shorts backwards. Everytime he tried he put something in his pocket it would just fall on the ground. If you got him really worked up, he would start yelling and doing cartwheels all over the field.

    His most famous prank is what he always did to Sophomores on their first 2-a-day practice with the Varsity. All morning he would say to the Sophomores "you know, you guys are doing great, I am gonna give everyone ice cream for the great job you are doing". They all would walk around all morning going "man, I can't believe coach D is gonna give us ice cream, that's awesome!". At the end of morning practice, everyone lined up and he would yell "ALRIGHT, HERE'S YOUR ICE CREAM!!! 100 of em!" Ice cream was his code name for up downs
  • Tigerfan00
    justincredible;1422534 wrote:This thread is close to being moved to the basement. Cut out the shit.
    HIGH SKOOO FOOBAWW
  • Midstate01
    LJ;1422541 wrote:We had an old Vietnam vet/Vietnam era Drill Sargent as our D-coord/RB coach/LB coach. He was funny as **** but intense as hell. He would kick lineman in the ass and yell "get that ass down or you're gonna get it shot off!"

    One day at an after school practice he came out wearing his Nike shorts backwards. Everytime he tried he put something in his pocket it would just fall on the ground. If you got him really worked up, he would start yelling and doing cartwheels all over the field.

    His most famous prank is what he always did to Sophomores on their first 2-a-day practice with the Varsity. All morning he would say to the Sophomores "you know, you guys are doing great, I am gonna give everyone ice cream for the great job you are doing". They all would walk around all morning going "man, I can't believe coach D is gonna give us ice cream, that's awesome!". At the end of morning practice, everyone lined up and he would yell "ALRIGHT, HERE'S YOUR ICE CREAM!!! 100 of em!" Ice cream was his code name for up downs

    The freshman didn't ever catch on????
  • LJ
    Midstate01;1422550 wrote:The freshman didn't ever catch on????

    Separate fields. Freshman never practiced with varsity. Always told the sophs not to tell. I'm sure some did, but it def always got kids
  • Ironman92
    I have two which would put the coach in trouble today.

    My 8th grade year in basketball we were losing a game at half and our coach had us seated and he whipped his clipboard over my head (skimmed my hair) and the clipboard shattered up against the locker....I mean a few inches lower and at least an ER visit.

    My sophomore year of baseball we lose 2-1 to Athens and our coach called for 3 suicide bunts (but the other coach knew his sign)....I had the only successful suicide bunting a ball that bounced and the runner on 3rd (all-state RB) ran through me and flipped me over...did my job. After the loss the coach is going to prove a point and set the pitching machine on full go (100?)from about 50 feet and we are all going to bunt off of it....since I was lead off I was first. The first ball hit about 15 feet up the backstop and he's yelling to get in there and the second one bounced and the 3rd one whizzed about a foot over my head and then he figured out he better get with the program and stop.

    The wrestling coach had to resign due to having his wrestlers spend the night in the hot tub to make weight.
  • dlazz
    ccrunner609;1422554 wrote:and you were dumb enough to come back the next day.
    I was too much of an athlete to not come back.
  • Curly J
    justincredible;1422534 wrote:This thread is close to being moved to the basement. Cut out the shit.
    Did you let Skank out of the basement? All I've seen of him lately was was him being The Skank down there...like where he belongs.
  • mcburg93
    Have quite a few but here are the ones that stand out the most. During halftime of a football game our coach did the usual yelling and throwing of clip board, bananas, apples, and oranges. As he is yelling at us he and the other coaches goes in to the coaches office and slams the door. A few moments goes by and we realized they locked themselves in there. For about five minutes they were kicking the door hollering to let them out. We tried to let them out but when he slammed it something jammed in the lock and could not get it open. They finally kicked it open to get out to go play the second half.

    Again during half time the same coach came in and there was a trash can in the middle of the room he came in threw his watch and kicked the trash can. After he was done yelling he went into the coaches office and heard him yelling about how he just broke his foot. Not to funny but it was at the time. We all were laughing and he didnt say a word.
  • Classyposter58
    Our golf coach was yelling at us after practice for "texting our girlfriends" during practice. I then asked what about our boyfriends? He went into some crazy rage and sent us all home.

    Then during the state championships a lot of us got pissed off, it was cold and we didn't play that well. He said we disrespected the golf program and should be ashamed of ourselves, then was going to force us to write letters to the Boosters and school administration apologizing for our behavior in front of the entire state. We all said screw you, refused to write anything and kinda never talked to him again. He got his state appearance, leave us the hell alone. Guy was a dick
  • Raw Dawgin' it
    Classyposter58;1422631 wrote:Our golf coach was yelling at us after practice for "texting our girlfriends" during practice. I then asked what about our boyfriends? He went into some crazy rage and sent us all home.

    Then during the state championships a lot of us got pissed off, it was cold and we didn't play that well. He said we disrespected the golf program and should be ashamed of ourselves, then was going to force us to write letters to the Boosters and school administration apologizing for our behavior in front of the entire state. We all said screw you, refused to write anything and kinda never talked to him again. He got his state appearance, leave us the hell alone. Guy was a dick
    lol...it's fucking golf.
  • Gblock
    two hs football stories.

    when i was in 8th grade my dad was a varsity coach so i used to be at most of the varsity practices and during two-a-days one of the varsity coaches peed in one of the players gatorades and the guy took a drink of it. gross...

    my freshman year some kid quit in the middle of two a days and was arguing with the head coach and said he wanted his t-shirt money back. the coach didnt have any money on him so he opened the pop machine and pelted the kid with about 7.00 in quarters. then the kid picked the money up and tried to ride his bike with the quarters in his hand. he kept hitting the speedbumps and dropping the quarters. there were quarters on the road all the way from the field house to the high school.
  • Tiernan
    Had a coach that was former Viet Nam Green Beret and always wore high tube socks because he had a really bad bullet wound in his calf (it was almost blown off) anyway one day all the Seniors decide to pull their tube socks up almost over their knees. Coach thought they were making fun of him but they were really kinda doing it as tribute. So he goes ape shit in the locker room and is throwing equipment, clothes, helmets anything he can get his hands on. Two other coaches are watching this and just start howling and then he turns on them too and tries to strangle one of them. Before we knew it there is a full-scale coaches fight right in the middle of the room. What is so funny is if that happened today every one of them would be fired...back then everybody was laughing their asses off 15 min later...but nobody pulled their socks up high again.
  • Classyposter58
    Raw Dawgin' it;1422666 wrote:lol...it's fucking golf.
    Right? I mean is it a very difficult sport, yes, but it's practice! We talking about practice, not a game. Practice