Office Stories

• jmog

  Fab4Runner;1250743 wrote:My boss does or says something idiotic almost daily. He told my coworker that he went to a nude beach one time but that it was okay because he "didn't get an erection".
  
  I used the phrase moot point the other day and he then proceeded to say it to a customer, but he said mute instead of moot. He literally had no idea what he was saying, he just used it because I did.
  
  And here is an email he sent to our salesman the other day:
  
  ".you..were sent.updates yesterday. Did you not get them did.you hete of any problems. Did anyone call ypu with.any problems. ???? Also everyone of kieths emai ssys he is out of the ofgice. But. Just incase you did not get your e mail yes drivers got loaded marion.delivered yestetday am houston
  will feliver monday. When they load at 6 pm the driver looses a day."
  
  Kill me.

  Is Belly35 your boss?
  
  Dang, 2 people beat me to it...
• Sonofanump

  jmog;1251026 wrote:Is Belly35 your boss?

  Is curlyJ your other personna?
• Ironman92

  

  like_that;1250705 wrote:Not really a crazy story, but two ladies in my office were arguing about something in particular. It got pretty heated, eventually one lady just walks away, looks at me and says very loudly "WOW, what a bitch." There was immediate silence in the offense after she said it. I know the other lady def heard it too.
  
  There was also one day where our secretary received a call that her house was on fire. She was flipping out screaming at the top of her longues. A group of people had to take her out of the office (her house received minimal damage).
  
  Nothing too crazy, but that whole altercation made me wonder if anyone has any type of crazy office stories. It's always interesting to hear about the unprofessional shit that happens at work.
  
  (insert cool story, i voted, gfy, etc comments)

  
  Screaming at the top of her longues? Lol
• like_that

  

  Ironman92;1251058 wrote:Screaming at the top of her longues? Lol

  SMH, just hasn't been my day with grammar.
• Ironman92

  

  Ironman92;1251058 wrote:Screaming at the top of her longues? Lol

  
  It's a pretty impressive mistake! Though I should probably bite my tung.
• Pick6

  

  Fab4Runner;1250743 wrote:My boss does or says something idiotic almost daily. He told my coworker that he went to a nude beach one time but that it was okay because he "didn't get an erection".
  
  I used the phrase moot point the other day and he then proceeded to say it to a customer, but he said mute instead of moot. He literally had no idea what he was saying, he just used it because I did.
  
  And here is an email he sent to our salesman the other day:
  
  ".you..were sent.updates yesterday. Did you not get them did.you hete of any problems. Did anyone call ypu with.any problems. ???? Also everyone of kieths emai ssys he is out of the ofgice. But. Just incase you did not get your e mail yes drivers got loaded marion.delivered yestetday am houston
  will feliver monday. When they load at 6 pm the driver looses a day."
  
  Kill me.

  boss must of sent that from a phone. I hope so anyways
• Pick6

  

  se-alum;1250786 wrote:I used to work for a tech company, and I absolutely hated my job. My boss was always on me trying to make me work weekends, and bitching about useless reports. So, a couple guys I work with and myself decided we were going to make a little extra off the company, so one of them wrote a program that would draw a very small amount of money out of the companies account and put it into our accounts. Unfortunately, my co-worker screwed up the program and it started drawing way too much!! I thought for sure we were screwed, but luckily the building ended up burning down, and we were safe from prosecution!

  So you're a thief ? Can't imagine I'd ever steal from my job
• Tiernan

  Many years ago I had a boss who most likely was going to fire me on a Monday after some shit that happened the previous week but he had a heart attack over the weekend on his boat at Lake Erie and died. Needless to say when we all came in on Monday the shit from the previous week was pretty much Pg. 2 news. My buddies still tell the story about how I told his widow at the funeral "how much 'Ol Bob will be missed by all of us" .
• Heretic

  

  Our office is kind of close quarters. We have one person who never is quiet. She will constantly talk to someone no matter what they are doing. One hour before deadline or something...and there she is mentioning how she just saw online that the Ethiopian Prime Minister died (this happened five minutes ago). No one fucking cares!
  
  Ooohh...now she's trying to tie this in with the Book of Revelations. Kill me now.
• Cher

  I hate my job.
• O-Trap

  

  At the place I worked before, I was working late (~8:30ish) and I decided to grab a snack out of the fridge. Walked into the break room and turned on the lights. One of our secretaries was riding one of our graphic designers. I simply apologized, shut the lights off, and went back to my office. No snack.
  
  Actually, I think I told the story on here when it happened.
• Cher

  Was she hot?
• like_that

  

  O-Trap;1251417 wrote:At the place I worked before, I was working late (~8:30ish) and I decided to grab a snack out of the fridge. Walked into the break room and turned on the lights. One of our secretaries was riding one of our graphic designers. I simply apologized, shut the lights off, and went back to my office. No snack.
  
  Actually, I think I told the story on here when it happened.

  Did they finish?
• BR1986FB

  A famous serial killer's stepmom used to work for my company back in the 80's prior to my arrival. That's the extent of "crazy" around here.
• Sonofanump

  like_that;1251421 wrote:Did they finish?

  Reps if that was a Mallrats reference.
• Rotinaj

  

  like_that;1251421 wrote:Did they finish?

  He probably caught him in his vinegar strokes.
• Drums of War

  Fab1b;1250873 wrote:I work for a major insurance company handling the staffing for our call centers across the US. I work out of one of the call centers in Jacksonville and on a Saturday a few years ago there was a turd, yes a log on the rep floor in the middle of all the cubicles. To this day it is still a mystery. Did a girl wear a skirt and just drop one, did someone roll one out the pants leg??? No one knows, no one has fessed up but we still laugh about it to this day!

  When you are crop dusting, you need to make sure the pilot doesn't fall out.
• O-Trap

  

  Cher;1251418 wrote:Was she hot?

  
  Very. It was an odd couple, as he was a shorter guy, slightly overweight with glasses and tiny eyes. Cool as hell, but odd looking.
  
  She was a former model, and I think she is doing some local modeling again.
  

  like_that;1251421 wrote:Did they finish?

  I have no idea. I didn't want to be the creepy-as-hell guy that hung around to find out.
• like_that

  

  Sonofanump;1251441 wrote:Reps if that was a Mallrats reference.

  No .

  O-Trap;1251456 wrote:Very. It was an odd couple, as he was a shorter guy, slightly overweight with glasses and tiny eyes. Cool as hell, but odd looking.
  
  She was a former model, and I think she is doing some local modeling again.
  
  
  
  I have no idea. I didn't want to be the creepy-as-hell guy that hung around to find out.

  What's her name?
  
  Also, there has to be more to the story. They never came to you and asked you to keep your mouth shut?
• O-Trap

  

  like_that;1251457 wrote:What's her name?

  I'm not sure she'd like me saying. We're still friends, but if she ever found out I spilled it here, I'm pretty sure she'd be furious.
  

  like_that;1251457 wrote: Also, there has to be more to the story. They never came to you and asked you to keep your mouth shut?

  She did. Pretty sure he wouldn't have minded if I'd told everyone but the boss.
• FatHobbit

  

  O-Trap;1251456 wrote:I didn't want to be the creepy-as-hell guy that hung around to find out.

  You should have asked to join in.
• O-Trap

  

  FatHobbit;1251476 wrote:You should have asked to join in.

  Eh, I prefer to have the only male anatomy involved in something like that, nevermind that I was already married at the time. To each his own, though.
• FatHobbit

  

  BR1986FB;1251425 wrote:A famous serial killer's stepmom used to work for my company back in the 80's prior to my arrival. That's the extent of "crazy" around here.

  One of my coworkers chopped his uncle up, stuck him in a barrel and then took off with all his money. They caught him and he committed suicide in jail.
  
  What is really funny about that story (at least to me) is that when they hired him, they also hired another guy. The murderer was the nicest guy you ever met, but the other guy they hired that day scares the shit out of me. I know he's going to blow up the building one day. He has serious anger issues.
• 4cards

  

  Fab4Runner;1250743 wrote:My boss does or says something idiotic almost daily. He told my coworker that he went to a nude beach one time but that it was okay because he "didn't get an erection".
  
  I used the phrase moot point the other day and he then proceeded to say it to a customer, but he said mute instead of moot. He literally had no idea what he was saying, he just used it because I did.
  
  And here is an email he sent to our salesman the other day:
  
  ".you..were sent.updates yesterday. Did you not get them did.you hete of any problems. Did anyone call ypu with.any problems. ???? Also everyone of kieths emai ssys he is out of the ofgice. But. Just incase you did not get your e mail yes drivers got loaded marion.delivered yestetday am houston
  will feliver monday. When they load at 6 pm the driver looses a day."
  
  Kill me.

  ...b/4 you go postal or decide to end it all, PM me with your resume. I'm going to be looking for a driver manager for our private fleet based in Medina if you interested.
• Fab4Runner

  

  4cards;1251516 wrote:...b/4 you go postal or decide to end it all, PM me with your resume. I'm going to be looking for a driver manager for our private fleet based in Medina if you interested.

  Will do!