Daughter heckled

• bluishgreen

  whats wrong with being on the 10 oclock news? lol
• ricola

  

  wow...I look on here this am and this thread has ballooned to 3 pages??!!
  
  most of the comments hardly deserve a response. Kind of affirms why there are so many young disrespectful kids out there these days---if one can't address a situation like this without being considered accused of battery!, but that's for another thread. i think everyone's made their points--as Pariah said, if you chose to adress the the situation with your kid differently, that's up to you.
  
  and thanks pariah for the visit while in the klink! you'd think they would overlook such a minor indiscretion at 3am concerning some eggs and a state police cruiser...oh well, live and learn!
• Trueblue23

  

  I know a young lady from Washington Court House who is constantly heckled because she has turrets. I've personally watched her mom get escorted out of about a dozen games over the years.. and the sad thing is the girl is only in 7th grade.
• joeynbubby

  Pariah - You have no right - whatsoever - to touch a child regardless of the situation! Your anger is warranted but your actions are not. Take your club back to your cave in Kentucky and take up painting pictures on your cave walls!
• ricola

  

  ^^^ e.g. this.
  and when you go back to kentucky (with your club) send me a few pics of those cave wall paintings!
• Pariah

  Just for the record... I am not aware that Ricola has ever been in the klink. He does have those shifty eyes though!
  
  Yeah, I should have cut this short but evidently some people have never learned the first rule of holes: when you have put yourself in one because you don't really know what you are talking about, stop digging.
• Pariah

  Junior Samples wrote: Can we at least all agree that the girl is lucky she got her looks from her mother?

  Absolutely no one will disagree with that!
• Pariah

  buckeyedan wrote: well I'm speaking in general...
  in general it's not a good idea to escalate a situation that's been handled
  
  but for the specifics... the big part of why people are confused that you "accosted in a manner threatening" is how you presented the situation at the beginning of the thread...
  
  you gave us a wink-wink he knew I was mad and would take action... and informed us "some kids need the brown scared out of them" while telling us how big and scary you are... ect...
  
  whatever happened (we don't know you or the situation so it's what we you wrote!)... I think you can see how people read what you wrote and saw an adult bully, threatening a kid over a situation that you were hearing about second or third hand AND had already been dealt with by the people in charge (and had stopped!)
  
  The lesson is PERCEPTION is reality...
  and when you escalate... no matter how just you feel... others may see it with a different slant

  I think people project their own worst fears onto situations like this which causes them to not listen and to not think clearly.
  
  I love kids and would never want to hurt one in any form or fashion. Can't think of a situation where I ever have. Now, maybe that will allay the fear a little.
• Swamp Fox

  Pariah'
  
  I have been following high school athletics for many years and I think that the deportment of the crowds has gotten worse and worse. Language, general immaturity, inappropriate cheers have become almost the rule, a fear of intervening, not only on the parents' side but on occasion, on the school's side. Dance team routines have become more like Las Vegas floor shows and the innuendo and general impression is that these "shows" compete with one another to see what can be tolerated and then go a couple of yards beyond that and see what happens. Usually nothing... Comments like the ones your daughter was subjected to are not appropriate for a high school game, particularly when the proximity of the "fan" was that physically close to your daughter. I think you probably should not have physically contacted this student out in the hallway because anymore you may have started a riot in the hallway and these days, those are the kind of legal battles good and justified people lose. I'm certainly not a prude....actually far from it, but there is right and there is wrong, and what your daughter was subjected to was wrong. The kid should have been escorted out. The lesson learned that evening was that the next time a student walks right up to an athlete in a contest and makes inappropriate advances, the penalty could be as severe as moving back an entire row from the playing floor. I have heard a lot worse comments by student fans than a girl is "hot" and absolutely nothing was done. I think we need to get back to teaching that even in a recreational, fun setting, such as a high school athletic contest, there are limits to what is acceptable and there will be consequences for those who exceed them.
• tfloangel

  you know, I do have one issue with the way Pariah has handled this situation...
  
  It's pretty simple really.
  
  In his initial post on this thread, he set himself up for scrutiny by wording - IMO merely with an attempt at humor - the situation in a way that set it up to sound like it had more malice than it did. The kids eyes were bugging out because he never expected someone to come ask him what was going on. Not because of the way in which he said or in what he said to the kid. If anyone would know, its me. I was five feet away. Like I said, smile on the face, never raised the voice, whole "incident" lasted ten seconds max.
  
  Was Pariah's daughter ever going to 'slug' the kid??? Not in a trillion years. Because the only person she's as much about worried about upsetting as her daddy (and he would have been very upset) is her coach. Did it succeed in starting a discussion? Yea, I think that was the point. If he didn't want it discussed, he wouldn't have posted the thread. But the way some of you are talking, its like Pariah is the only one in any way in the wrong.
  
  Honestly, kid didn't mean any harm, and when I saw the title of the thread, I was surprised to see who its author was, cuz I didn't think it was a serious enough deal to even deserve further discussion. And for those who've suggested his daughter can't handle a little heckling, learn to take a joke. Because most of what he said - at the risk of putting words in Pariah's mouth - were about equal parts tongue-in-cheek and seriousness. Sometimes I think we all use a bit too much sarcasm on these websites, because unless you know the person in real life, its next to impossible to infer tone of voice and mood with which they're saying something.
• tfloangel

  Swamp Fox wrote: Pariah'
  
  I have been following high school athletics for many years and I think that the deportment of the crowds has gotten worse and worse. Language, general immaturity, inappropriate cheers have become almost the rule, a fear of intervening, not only on the parents' side but on occasion, on the school's side. Dance team routines have become more like Las Vegas floor shows and the innuendo and general impression is that these "shows" compete with one another to see what can be tolerated and then go a couple of yards beyond that and see what happens. Usually nothing... Comments like the ones your daughter was subjected to are not appropriate for a high school game, particularly when the proximity of the "fan" was that physically close to your daughter.

  
  Sorry - that made me laugh. I had a couple of third graders come up yesterday in class and ask to perform their new "cheer" for me. I don't remember for sure, but I remember thinking how suggestive it was and wondering if the girls had ANY clue what some of the words they were saying actually meant.
  
  Something something LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON, TOUCH THE FLOOR LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS, their was a$$ smacking in there somewhere... it was nuts. And I had to sit there and say "very nice, girls." cuz what else was I going to say? "You look like you belong in a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading uniform?"
• vball10set

  ^^good post...IMO,Pariah wanted an audience,so he posted,and he got one...thread closed
  
  ps not the post above,but the one before it
• ricola

  

  agree with tflo. I have essentially been chuckling through this entire thread, because i well know all the paticipants(except the young heckler): pariah, his daughter, and tflo the witness. (I also know pariah's wife, his other children, the coach, etc etc--and concur with the statement of being glad the girl got her mother's looks ). So i guess i can understand--a little--how everyone can get so worked up about such a minor incident, because everyone is bringing their own baggage and perspective to this whereas the people "in the know" sit back a bit dumbfounded reading all this stuff.
  it's somewhat of a micrcosm of society in a way---albeit an unfortunate one---in that the commentary leads to: 1) whatever happened to common sense and decency, and that 2) "political correctness" has gone to such an extreme that it has essentially eclipsed #1 in this country.
  that's the end of my 2 cents worth for this thread. Thankfully I use this sight as a means of entertainment only (usually during some down times at work) and take evrything read, and written, with a healthy dose of scepticism and "tongue-in-cheekness"!
• vball10set

  this should never have been posted in the first place...I get the impression that he's a good dad with his daughters' best interest at heart..but the dude was braggin',plain and simple
• Gobuckeyes1

  I am another person who would thank Mr. Pariah for correcting my son's misbehavior. A little squeeze on the shoulder sends a strong message, and I certainly don't view that as assault.
  
  Also, if my son decided he wanted to act like an idiot at a basketball game, he wouldn't be going to any more basketball games for a while.
• insuranceguy

  ^^^ Exactly I agree with this whole heartedly
• TMajic

  Couldn't find her all night Pariah, although I was a little busy.
• buckeyedan

  Pariah wrote: I love kids and would never want to hurt one in any form or fashion. Can't think of a situation where I ever have. Now, maybe that will allay the fear a little.

  Okay... but when you post on a message board that very few people actually know you or anyone involved they have to read what you write... and what you WROTE is not "never want to hurt a kid" is was a parent, bullying a kid because he heard from others what he might have said...
  
  from all the backpeddling that isn't what actually happened... good!
  
  what was described in the first couple posts is wrong
  
  what you probably did was fine and completely different (as has been described by you and others since)
  

  tfloangel wrote: you know, I do have one issue with the way Pariah has handled this situation...
  
  It's pretty simple really.
  
  In his initial post on this thread, he set himself up for scrutiny by wording - IMO merely with an attempt at humor - the situation in a way that set it up to sound like it had more malice than it did.

  exactly... and the reader wasn't there so can only go on Pariah's words!
  people aren't judging what HAPPENED... but what Pariah SAID happened and it appears he exaggerated...
  
  

  tfloangel wrote: But the way some of you are talking, its like Pariah is the only one in any way in the wrong.

  I don't think anyone said what the kid did was not wrong????
  We are pointing out that what Pariah WROTE happened next (probably exaggerated) was even wrose than what the kid did... particuarly given what was writen...
  The Pariah in the story:
  1) assumed things he didn't know (said he HEARD the kid said this or that)
  2) took it apon himself to bully a kid even after the situation was handled AND the kid had stopped
  3) has an increadibly sexist attitude (boys can handle themselves but poor girls need daddy to protect them (even after she had handled it... daddy had to bully the kid))
  
  That is almost certainly not the REAL "Pariah"... the person behind the screen name... but it was the one in the (fictional?) story!
  

  tfloangel wrote: And for those who've suggested his daughter can't handle a little heckling, learn to take a joke. Because most of what he said - at the risk of putting words in Pariah's mouth - were about equal parts tongue-in-cheek and seriousness.

  here's the thing... and a great lesson for everyone... people can't "read" tongue-in-cheek... we read what is written and have to take it for what it says! The situation described if VERY common... kids have a minor issue... parents OVERREACT and we have a big problem!
  
  So while it may or may not be "tounge in cheek"... it DID bring up a very good point and a very BIG issue in High school athletics! (rathar Pariah's actual situation was that or not... rather he intended to or not.)
  
  REMEMBER... internet threads have lives of their own! They don't always go just the way you planned!
  
  You can't take it personal! Most people aren't responding to the PERSON... but the actions described.
  
  I've moderated a particular, busy, message board since the very early 1990s... almost all the "fights" and big blow ups that end up with somebody "banned" or action taken... start with somebody trying to use sarcasm... THEN getting mad when people don't GET the sarcasm and attack what is said as "real"... leading to hurt feelings and a sense of "us vs them"... sarcasm simply does not work in this setting...
• ricola

  

  you make some good points--mainly in that how things are written on these board and how they are spoken in real life conversations are not the same. we can't 'read" the sarcasm, or pick up the intonation of the voice, or see the smirk on the face or the twinkle in the eye that was there when it was written. Since i know Pariah, I "saw" and heard that when it was being written, so came to a different conclusion than the majority who obviously didn't, and can thus only respond to the words, and with their perspective as well..thus evryone 'reads" things differently. Have had the same problems myself reading other people's post whom I didn't know, and thought they were total jerks, but come tp realize later things weren't necessarily written with the intent that i read them. some good things to keep in mind.
• thereddragin

  Gobuckeyes1 wrote: I am another person who would thank Mr. Pariah for correcting my son's misbehavior. A little squeeze on the shoulder sends a strong message, and I certainly don't view that as assault.
  
  Also, if my son decided he wanted to act like an idiot at a basketball game, he wouldn't be going to any more basketball games for a while.

  Totally 100% agreed...
• madman11

  which school did she get heckled by?
• ricola

  

  wow...this post resurrected from the dead!...
  we can't get enough Pariah!
• Pariah

  My thought exactly Ricola!
  
  She played so bad last week in a shootout last week that I was heckling her!
  
  The school was Ridgewood, but I wouldn't say the young man's behavior was typical of those students. I posted it because it was unusual, and although serious in a sense, had a humorous aspect to it as well. Most interesting to me was that, from my PM's, urban people tended to be really disturbed by how I responded to the kid while the country folks got the humorous part.
• Tiernan

  ^^^
  that's becuz the urbanites don't realize how deep in the crapper personal discipline has declined. Two years ago when a Marion Frnaklin BB player was given "community service" for sucker punching an opponent at the end of a game...most urban idiots on the old puddle site called the decision racist driven, while those of us out in the burbs and wheatfields thought the little derelict should have gotten alot more. You handled the situation just fine Pariah.
• ricola

  

  ^^^ don't know if that's limited to the "urbanites" --- the overall discipline of kids/students these days at times just makes me shake my head. See it in "country kids" as well--tho maybe not as much; too often mouthy and dispespectful, feel entitled, etc etc. I think part of it is watching too much Lebron and his cronies on Sportscenter, and the athletes that are just too full of themselves. That entitlement mentality rubs off on the kids, and the parents, coaches and refs let them get away with it.