Funny Drunk Stories

• Dr Jones

  Back in the day we had a hotel party in middle of july I got in a huge fight with my gf and stormed out of room and went to leave, Was so drunk ( so I thought) that I could not put the keys in the ignition to start the car it was so hot I started to get sick and threw up. After I threw up I realized it was NOT my car. I still to this day feel sooooooo sorry for the owner of that car
• bucks36

  

  pnhasbeen wrote: I'm sure we've had a similar thread because EVERYONE has these stories.
  This happened to me last night:
  
  We were going to have a party at our apartment. So I have the baseball crowd over and my roomies have their frat buddies over. One of the frat buddies is a midget, he's cool as fuck too. But he passed out on my sofa, with his shoes on. Rules are fucking rules. I take a sharpie and draw a penis and hairy balls with cum squirting to his mouth. Legit. Then I wrote "I'm a Bitch" on his forehead. That's it. Honestly, worse has been done to me. His buddy comes over takes his shoes off and says "his shoes are off." Good friend. So finally this kid goes upstairs and he's not happy. He washes it off comes down and seems cool.
  
  Fast forward seemingly 45 minutes, and he's pissed about something. I'm sitting next to the door dicking with the ipod. He opened the door and stood their waiting. It's winter time, I'm in a shirt and shorts. I say "close the fucking door." Apparently, "fucking" was toooooo much for him. He goes bat shit crazy. I tell his buddy to get him out of here. (I have 4 rules in my apartment and #3 is don't be an asshole[obnoxious]). So as they're walking out, I say "I remember my first beer." Never knew those 5 words of a movie quote would stir so much anger in a man. His buddy has him picked up with his head in the door saying "wtf you just say?" ALL pissed off. Apparently he was fuming in the parking lot for 10 minutes.
  
  I get a text this morning saying, "I may have overreacted." Lol. I told him "we all do crazy shit when we're fucked up."
  
  Who's got good ones?

  So what you're saying is............you don't have a funny story.
• hasbeen

  

  bucks36 wrote:
  
  So what you're saying is............you don't have a funny story.

  yep.
• bigkahuna

  pnhasbeen wrote:

  CinciX12 wrote:

  bigkahuna wrote: Threw Shit on my friend during Prank Wars.
  
  
  Done.

  Uhh...

  You actually touched poo?

  Kinda thought I wouldn't be able to NOT tell the story lol.
  
  Freshmen year in BG.
  
  Something lead up to this, but it'd be complicated to understand on here because of the different people envolved. I had put a towl under my door (there was a small space between the door/floor) to keep my friends from throwing stuff into my room. Friend A yanks my towl out into the hallway and pees on it.
  
  I decide that I need to 1 up him, so I get this bright idea.........
  I walked down to the bathroom and took a poop. Then I fished out the smaller of the 2 nuggets with a ziplock bag, so there is some poo water as well. I go back down to his room and knock on the door. Well, Friend B(who is Friend A's roomie) answers the door while I'm in mid swing. As the door opens I let go, and the bag hits Friend B in the chest. the bag opens and the nugget and water spill all over their room.
  
  Friend B and I get into a fight because, we I had just thrown shit on him. It was intendid for Friend A, but shit happens.
  
  I think the best part about the story is the Friend A ended up cleaning up the mess because Friend B went to his gfs and I passed out. Their room literally smelled like shit for a good week and a half because the poop water soaked into the carpet. We are all still friends to this day, so he go over it somewhat quickly.
• hasbeen

  

  bigkahuna wrote:
  but shit happens.
  
  

  literally
  
  
  but i'm glad my friends and i don't use feces in our paybacks!
• rookie_j70

  

  she called me 9 months later.....yeah not so funny
• This_DJ_3

  One night my buddies and i were doing the traditional bonging of beers before we hit the bars. This was back in the days at OU where "the cheese", "the greenery", or whatever it was called when you were there, served everybody underage. Well my one roomie is so tanked he pours the beer bong on his head trying to hold it for me so i figured it's time to head up town.
  
  We get there and towards nights end he's dancing with this chick who looks like Beeker from the muppet babies. They start making out and dancing low, and fall over onto the dance floor b/c they're drunk and don't even try to get up they just lay there making out. So i decide its time to head home. The other roomie with us hasn't said a damn word in about 2 hours.
  
  We get to Wendy's and me and the Beeker lover roomie sit down with our food, Silent roomie sits his food down and heads to the bath room never to return. we eat our food and his, then we go to the bathroom to see he's vomitted all over the stall and is sitting in his own vomit. So we take him home and throw him in the bottom bunk. He start's puking off the side of the bed so i get down and put a trash can infront of his mouth and pass out.
  
  Half way through the night i get awoken by him stirring around in the corner and say to myself "if he's puking again he's just going to have to pick it up in the morning", and go back to sleep. We wake up the next day and clean up the room and there's beer, puke, food, everything everywhere. finally we get it cleaned but it still reeks like ass in there. so suddenly it dawns on me and i go look in the corner that he was messing around in when i woke up and there is a huge pile of shit laying on the floor. It looked like a stack of half cooked brownies.
  
  We had carpet all around the room except for 9 inches along each wall, and he managed to have the awareness to avoid the carpet, but couldn't make it to the bathroom. It to this day was the funniest moment of my life when we found that big pile of shit that he ended up scooping up with a nutty bar box to clean it up.
• hasbeen

  

  rookie_j70 wrote: she called me 9 months later.....yeah not so funny

  i lol'd
  

  This_DJ_3 wrote: nutty bar box

  
  i love nutter butter bars!