textsfromlastnight

• bigkahuna

  Since I now live in Michigan, I had to see what people in my area code were doing...
  
  If this has happened to you.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  
  (734):
  
  i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
  
  
  EPIC FAIL!!
  <object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value=" name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>
• raiderbuck

  (610):
  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
  
  (610):
  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
  
  LMAO
• Laley23

  

  (860):you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
  
  lmao
• Laley23

  

  (805):you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
  
  Absolutely disgusting.....yet hilarious at the same time!
• darbypitcher22

  

  (205):
  You better have your party panties on Saturday!
  
  (1-205):
  Why only Saturday?
  
  (205):
  Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri