You Know Your Spouse/Signficicant Other Is Officially Blitzed When...

• Cat Food Flambe'

  

  Inspired by the "post-party favorite food thread"...
  
  What usually tips you off that your husband/wife, BF/GF, etc., has had that proverbial "one too many" (hopefully a not-too-frequent occurrence :s)?
  
  I'm referring to something that takes place BEFORE they get to the point where are passed out on the floor, or doing the old Technicolor Yawn in the bathroom.
  
  In our pre-parenting days, I always knew that Lady D'Friskies had had just a little too much when she wanted to go get breakfast at a 24-hour diner after we left the party or bar. It usually didn't end well.
• Manhattan Buckeye

  She starts speaking to me in German.
• ytownfootball

  

  When the loveseat in the family room somehow resembles a toilet.
  
  Never has she not been caught up with....yet.
• gerb131

  

  When she somehow brings up this chicks name she swears I was railing behind her back. Everytime.
• Scarlet_Fever

  

  whenever she mentions us heading to the bedroom. She's way past her limit.
• GoChiefs

  

  She starts singing. Lol
• Bio-Hazzzzard

  

  She becomes a motor mouth closely followed by looking into the porcelain bus
• mexappeal12

  

  he starts asking me if i want to get married and have his children one day... yikes
• bigkahuna

  I have discovered that there is a direct correlation between my wife's drunkeness and how closed here eyes are.
  
  The more closed they are; the drunker she is. The nice thing is that she can handler herself and knows her limit. Once the eyes are completely closed; not 1 more sip.
• rookie_j70

  

  when she calls me for a 3 am booty call.
• berry

  She starts singing into the vibrator.
• sherm03

  

  She'll start to worry about every person in the group. She'll start pulling girls away from dudes on the dance floor, calling cabs for people, and usually will start crying over something stupid at some point.
• ZWICK 4 PREZ

  

  She starts using her outdoor voice and i gotta slap it back inside.
• This_DJ_3

  she starts saying "i'm not drunk"
• DESCENTdmc

  ccrunner hits her in the face
• O-Trap

  

  Her: She falls asleep without notice.
  Me: I start quoting either standup comedy from Mitch Hedberg or lines from the TV series Arrested Development.
• Con_Alma

  I don't know if I've ever seen my wife completely drunk. I don't know if I want to.
  
  I though it was interesting that Manhatten said his wife starts speaking German. I usually get that unless she has had a drink or two. Then she calms down and speaks English to me and the kids!
• cbus4life

  When she actually sucks my penis.
• THE4RINGZ

  

  While sitting on the couch she falls over laughing at something she said
• raiderbuck

  When she starts randomly laughing, or just starts singing songs from Sister Act II
• brutus161

  

  When she allows anal.
• fan_from_texas

  I don't think I've ever seen Mrs. FFT really hammered. She isn't much of a drinker, and when she does drink, it's usually just one or two drinks.
• Stiffman

  

  she comes home late...gets in the bedroom....wakes me up by slapping me on the ass and asking "who's horny?"