Greatest Twitter on the intrawebs

• BCSbunk

  Shit my dad says.
  
  I have been following this for a while now and it is freaking hiliarous.
  
  "We didn't have a prom. Dancing wasn't allowed...What's Footloose?...That's the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit."
  
  10:57 AM Oct 6th from web "Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."
  
  10:03 AM Oct 5th from web "You're being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."
  
  5:57 PM Oct 3rd from web "You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again after your bullshit dies out over someone else's house."
  
  5:08 PM Oct 1st from web "Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his fucking food. Why's he gotta do a trick first? YOU don't have to do shit before YOU eat."
  
  10:28 AM Sep 30th from web "It's not the gardener's job to pick up the dog shit. If you don't want to pick up the dog shit, then learn a skill like gardening."
  
  12:47 PM Sep 28th from web Do these announcers ever shut the fuck up? Don't ever say stuff just because you think you should. That's the definition
  
  http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays
  
  Enjoy!
• BCSbunk

  I just noticed I put this in the wrong forum could a mod please move it to serious business?
• fiver

  "You're like a tornado of bullshit right now."...hahahaha pure fuckin' classic!
• darbypitcher22

  

  LOL I'm totally adding this and following it
• Nate

  I'm now following. This is my fave so far.
  
  "I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I'm old. I'm through moving shit."
• gorocks99

  

  (watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."
  
  This whole feed is classic.
• darbypitcher22

  

  "Fine, let's take a vote, who wants fish for dinner? Yeah, democracy's not so fun when it fucks you, huh?
• Heretic

  

  There's some hilarious lines there.
  
  "I hate paying bills... Son, don't say 'me too'. I didn't say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of 'go away'."
• darbypitcher22

  

  this may be on par with textsfromlastnight for the laugh factor
• BCSbunk

  "A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."
  11:26 AM Nov 13th from web
  
  LMAO
• BCSbunk

  This is my favorite of the lot.
  
  "Who in the fuck is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?...That's her? Yeah, that's a stripper, son, I don't give a shit what you say."
  11:22 AM Sep 6th from web
• raiderbuck

  Umm..yea, see my sig!