Fathers Day and step dads....

• thavoice

  What is the normal protocol?
  
  I know the last couple of years I got a card and such, but this year nary a mention from them and was just wondering what many others do.
  
  Didnt bother me at all, as a matter of fact I didnt even think about it until this morning at work when a co worker asked what the step kids did for me.
  
  Thanks.
• DeyDurkie5

  

  I have no idea, as my parents aren't divorced. But it sure does sound like your family are a bunch of assholes.
• sleeper

  

  I didn't do anything for my step dad. I don't have anything against him, but he's not my real dad, so why should I honor him on Father's day?
• Apple

  

  Fathers Day = Hallmark holiday.
  
  My mom got remarried after my dad died and us kids were grown. I didn't ever do anything for him for fathers day. He was a great guy, but he was my moms husband, not my dad.
• THE4RINGZ

  

  I got a text from two of my four step kids. Which is the same thing they did for their real dad.
• se-alum

  

  Don't imagine there is a protocol. It all depends on your relationship with your step children.
• justincredible

  

  se-alum;1203312 wrote:Don't imagine there is a protocol. It all depends on your relationship with your step children.

  This.
  
  I don't have a real dad or step-dad. My mom does have a long-term boyfriend, and he's great, but I did nothing for him for fathers day. I wished my father-in-law a happy fathers day but no card or anything.
• hasbeen

  

  fathers day, mothers day, etc are holidays for cook outs. spending money is kind of silly.
  our family just makes it an event to spend time together, which is what it should be.
• wildcats20

  

  se-alum;1203312 wrote:Don't imagine there is a protocol. It all depends on your relationship with your step children.

  
  Yeah. There is no right or wrong way to do it.
• dlazz

  For Fathers Day, I paid respect to the ultimate Father -- The Lord Jesus Christ.
• Con_Alma

  dlazz;1203333 wrote:For Fathers Day, I paid respect to the ultimate Father -- The Lord Jesus Christ.

  He's the Son. God is the Father.
• dlazz

  Con_Alma;1203513 wrote:He's the Son. God is the Father.

  fuck off
• password

  

  thavoice;1203268 wrote:What is the normal protocol?
  
  I know the last couple of years I got a card and such, but this year nary a mention from them and was just wondering what many others do.
  
  Didnt bother me at all, as a matter of fact I didnt even think about it until this morning at work when a co worker asked what the step kids did for me.
  
  Thanks.

  You should remember this when christmas roll around, let their real dad take care of it.
• Fab4Runner

  

  I do the same thing for my dad and stepdad. Usually a card, sometimes just an email or a text.
• Con_Alma

  What ever i comfortable is the protocol. Reationships vary. Its about the gesture that the kids want to make. Someties that significant. Sometimes it's nonexistant.
• Pick6

  

  I sent my stepdad a text. Spent the day with my dad.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Con_Alma;1203528 wrote:What ever i comfortable is the protocol. Reationships vary. Its about the gesture that the kids want to make. Someties that significant. Sometimes it's nonexistant.

  
  Belly? That you?
• redstreak one

  

  Dad deceased, mom never remarried. Went to cookout with wifes family and hung out with father in law.
• -Society-

  

  justincredible;1203318 wrote:This.
  
  I don't have a real dad or step-dad. My mom does have a long-term boyfriend, and he's great, but I did nothing for him for fathers day. I wished my father-in-law a happy fathers day but no card or anything.

  Someone had to have banged your mom, if not, artificial insemination is an answer. That would mean no one wanted to bang your mom.
• bigkahuna

  My step dad has been like a dad to me ever since he started dating my mom (about 8 years ago when I was 17-18).
  
  I consider him more my father than my actual father, so I usually get him a card/ cook out for him. Schedules were hectic today, so I got tickets for he and I to the Michigan Sprint Cup Race in August. I thought I was getting them for yesterday, but I epic failed that.
• thavoice

  password;1203520 wrote:You should remember this when christmas roll around, let their real dad take care of it.

  Interesting. The step daughter doesnt know her dad, think they met once like 15 or so years ago, and is not a part of her life whatsoever so i guess that would leave her with no Christmas!!!!
  
  I suspect the snub this year had to do with recent disciplinary/reprimanding issues that made them mad. The mom tries to be their best friends and lets them do whatever and whenever. I had been preaching to the 19 yr old that she needs to start looking for a job. I blew up when I found out that she only got one applicaton since I brough this up in mid april, and I found that application half way filled out, on the floor of the car, and when I asked her about the job hunt she said she got called from them to interview in a couple of weeks. When I asked how that was possible because of the app not turned in the story changed how shejust forgot. So that became an issue recently. Its ok though.....it is very tough being the only one that tries to instill some values, hard work and character into the kids. Being a step dad is the hardest thing I have ever done because they have that option of not listening due to the fact I am not their dad and the mother would rather be a bestie friend than give them structure.
  
  I always hated it when my dad would harp on me growing up about what he did when he was a kid, but I find myself doing the same thing. Chores, summer jobs, responsibility and all of that seems to be lost nowadays with many youth. I think I would have been bored outta my mind growing up with NOTHING to do. Yeah..I moaned and groaned when I had to mow the yard in the hot summer, or work in the garden or take the trash out or head to work when it was hot as hell out, but after it was done, damn there was a sense of accomplishment! A sense of pride in a 'job well done'.
  
  How do you project that out to kids? Just keep on working hard and hopefully they catch on? Ican remember as a kid that i felt guilty when I saw my mom or dad doing something that I should be doing. Like if I forget to take out the trash, or do the dishes, I felt bad that I forgot and they were doing it.
  
  I dont know....I just am a lost person I guess.
• Fab4Runner

  

  thavoice;1204422 wrote:Interesting. The step daughter doesnt know her dad, think they met once like 15 or so years ago, and is not a part of her life whatsoever so i guess that would leave her with no Christmas!!!!
  
  I suspect the snub this year had to do with recent disciplinary/reprimanding issues that made them mad. The mom tries to be their best friends and lets them do whatever and whenever. I had been preaching to the 19 yr old that she needs to start looking for a job. I blew up when I found out that she only got one applicaton since I brough this up in mid april, and I found that application half way filled out, on the floor of the car, and when I asked her about the job hunt she said she got called from them to interview in a couple of weeks. When I asked how that was possible because of the app not turned in the story changed how shejust forgot. So that became an issue recently. Its ok though.....it is very tough being the only one that tries to instill some values, hard work and character into the kids. Being a step dad is the hardest thing I have ever done because they have that option of not listening due to the fact I am not their dad and the mother would rather be a bestie friend than give them structure.
  
  I always hated it when my dad would harp on me growing up about what he did when he was a kid, but I find myself doing the same thing. Chores, summer jobs, responsibility and all of that seems to be lost nowadays with many youth. I think I would have been bored outta my mind growing up with NOTHING to do. Yeah..I moaned and groaned when I had to mow the yard in the hot summer, or work in the garden or take the trash out or head to work when it was hot as hell out, but after it was done, damn there was a sense of accomplishment! A sense of pride in a 'job well done'.
  
  How do you project that out to kids? Just keep on working hard and hopefully they catch on? Ican remember as a kid that i felt guilty when I saw my mom or dad doing something that I should be doing. Like if I forget to take out the trash, or do the dishes, I felt bad that I forgot and they were doing it.
  
  I dont know....I just am a lost person I guess.

  This part is definitely not true in our family. My stepdad has been around since I was nine and he provided for us just like we were his own kids. We had to listen to him because he is our parent who helped raise and care for us.
  
  I will never understand step parents who don't get the same amount of respect as real parents. Do you provide for them? Give them a place to live, food on the table, clothing, etc?
• thavoice

  Fab4Runner;1204436 wrote:This part is definitely not true in our family. My stepdad has been around since I was nine and he provided for us just like we were his own kids. We had to listen to him because he is our parent who helped raise and care for us.
  
  I will never understand step parents who don't get the same amount of respect as real parents. Do you provide for them? Give them a place to live, food on the table, clothing, etc?

  Yes. The oldest is with us 100%, and the two boys are around 50% of the time. I am pretty much the sole bread winner for the familiy. I suspect it all comes down to, unfortunately, the views their mother have of me. I think they see she has no use for me, other than providing her with a place to live, food, clothes and everything else, so that trickles down to them. Two parents need to be on the same page I think, even moreso when one is a step parent. While I reprimand when they drop the N bomb, or talk negatively about **** and homo's it does no good when their mother, and grandparents, are the ones who have preach it and allow it. So when I yell at them for talking like that I become the bad guy to them all.
  
  Just is very frustrating. Dont get me wrong.....I am not a fan of the ****, but you would NEVER hear me say anything negatively around kids or hell even my parents. Just think it is wrong to act certain ways around kids and am trying to break the cycle of hatred and bigotry ya know.
• Rotinaj

  

  You just need to gtfo of that situation already. What are you waiting for?
• DeyDurkie5

  

  THAVOICE..... GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE YOU DUMBASS