The 40 Year Old Virgin - great movie, not a great real world situation

• Manhattan Buckeye

  Looking for advice from OC.
  
  One of my closest friends just turned 39 in late September. Great guy, smart guy, has a Ph.D. and teaches at a reputable college, and finally moved out of his parents' house.
  
  I am 99% sure this dude has never known a woman, in the carnal sense. He isn't gay, definitely is in to women but it just hasn't worked out for him. He's made some poor decisions, and has let himself go a bit - but nothing a few weeks of grooming and clothes shopping won't fix.
  
  He's a great guy, loves college sports and always takes off the first weekend of March Madness as he enjoys college basketball. Another friend is trying to convince us all to meet in Vegas next March for the first weekend of the NCAA tourney and, like me, knows our friend's situation and is being more affirmative about it (he's in the Army).
  
  My query is how do I handle this? I'm not sure I'm cool with the Vegas thing, but on the other hand, our friend needs a kick in the rear.
• gorocks99

  

  hooker(s)
• Manhattan Buckeye

  That is my Army friend's solution. Maybe there isn't another way.
• ManO'War

  

  Depends on what his criteria is for a woman.
  
  
  I have a friend who is so particular that he will probably always be alone.
• Fab4Runner

  

  Vegas can't hurt. Even if he can't find a broad to bang...at least it would still be a fun time, right?
• password

  

  He is a teacher at a college and still can't get laid, he must have bigger issues than you know about. There are always girls in college that want to bang their teacher for extra credit. Tell him to pick out the girl in his class that is struggling to get a passing grade but really tries hard. she is most likely the one who sits in the back with little make up, dresses down for class and doesn't talk to many of her classmates. She is your answer or your buddy is already banging some college chick and doesn't want other people to know about it.
• gut

  Don't try to push him to get a hooker, probably a mistake if he's not comfortable with it (hard to imagine a virgin being ok with that). But it can't be hard to pick-up girls at the club. Just get bottle service somewhere and make sure the group pulls in some girls he has a chance with - ideally some women who have that sort of homely, a bit overweight girlfriend they're looking to get laid.
• I Am Ahab

  I know a guy like this. Slightly younger, 29, but after the age of ,idk, 21 it should have happened.
  
  The big difference is this guy took the hooker route very early in life. Like early 20's. But the thing is I'm pretty damn sure he has ONLY been with a hooker. Feel kinda bad for people like this. It's almost not fair that there is no one out there for some people it seems like.
  
  This guy I know is just one of those people. He's just strange. Bit in some odd and almost inexplicable sense. He's got a good paying job, drives a nice car, etc. But he just doesn't fit in and is very awkward w women.
• Laley23

  

  Go to Vegas, but dont get a hooker.
  
  Vegas is booming that first weekend. Just be willing to spend some money for the partying and he will have a chance. He is 39 and hasnt had sex, so he could always fuck it up, but the chance will almost for sure be there. Especially at the clubs if you decide to spend a bit and get bottle service. Then just invite some women over to join.
• Scarlet_Buckeye

  

  ManO'War;943395 wrote:Depends on what his criteria is for a woman.
  
  
  I have a friend who is so particular that he will probably always be alone.

  Me too.
  
  The guy is at best a 6, and he won't even give a girl the time unless she is a 9.
• DeyDurkie5

  

  1 incher?
• sportchampps

  Bunny ranch
• dlazz

  If he's happy with his life, why press the issue?
• Manhattan Buckeye

  dlazz;943716 wrote:If he's happy with his life, why press the issue?

  He isn't happy, he's always been a bit of a nerd, but in a good way. He has always loved sports and science fiction movies. Whenever I go back to Ohio we would hang out and watch Star Trek or Terminator or whatever and go to Ohio U., Marshall or Ohio St. for a basketball or football game.
  
  Now he's even more of a recluse and doesn't even want to go out, although he still enjoys watching sports on tv, hence why the March weekend is good. He's also grown a ridiculous beard and has gained about 40 lbs in the last few years. There is a reason for concern here.
• gerb131

  

  sportchampps;943710 wrote:Bunny ranch

  I'd love to go!
• derek bomar

  

  ask him honestly if he's ever fucked a broad. If he says no, say "I am MB. I am here to fix this fucking (pun intended) problem" and don't take no for an answer. Get him laid at all costs.
• sleeper

  

  derek bomar;944088 wrote:ask him honestly if he's ever ****ed a broad. If he says no, say "I am MB. I am here to fix this ****ing (pun intended) problem" and don't take no for an answer. Get him laid at all costs.

  +1000
• Pick6

  

  prayers for him.
• Little Danny

  

  This guy's problem is that he puts the pussy on a pedastal.
• jordo212000

  

  Little Danny;944226 wrote:This guy's problem is that he puts the pussy on a pedastal.

  
  Touché
• sherm03

  

  Don't go the hooker route. If he's 39 and hasn't had sex yet, there's a reason for it. Whatever it is, it's his issue he has to deal with and get past. His friends buying him a hooker is just going to make him feel like shit about the situation.
  
  Get a crew of guys together, go to the bars and clubs, with the sole purpose of finding him a girl to hook up with. But don't pressure him or make him feel like shit if he messes things with a chick. Just be a good wingman for him and it will happen eventually.
• OSH

  

  Why not just ask him? Talk to him about what he wants. That's what a friend should and would do.
  
  Don't go asking a message board.
• Manhattan Buckeye

  sherm03;944361 wrote:Don't go the hooker route. If he's 39 and hasn't had sex yet, there's a reason for it. Whatever it is, it's his issue he has to deal with and get past. His friends buying him a hooker is just going to make him feel like **** about the situation.
  
  Get a crew of guys together, go to the bars and clubs, with the sole purpose of finding him a girl to hook up with. But don't pressure him or make him feel like **** if he messes things with a chick. Just be a good wingman for him and it will happen eventually.

  That is the plan, my other buddy in the Army swears he's done this before. He's going to hire a woman (or women) and we'll all hang out on March Madness opening weekend at the Bellagio and bet on games and go clubbing afterwards, the woman (and possibly her friends) will meet up with us.
  
  I didn't think I would ever be involved in something like this, but our friend needs help. He is really a great guy, teaches Biology and physical sciences at a good school, but has absolutely given up on dating or being involved in any type of relationship. It is really sad.
• Manhattan Buckeye

  OSH;944443 wrote:Why not just ask him? Talk to him about what he wants. That's what a friend should and would do.
  
  Don't go asking a message board.

  Have you had a conversation with a nearing 40-year old friend if he's ever got laid? We're trying to help his confidence, not break it down. I live in reality. In reality one doesn't ask a guy who he's known for 35 years if he wants a blonde or brunette woman.
• OSH

  

  Manhattan Buckeye;944445 wrote:Have you had a conversation with a nearing 40-year old friend if he's ever got laid? We're trying to help his confidence, not break it down. I live in reality. In reality one doesn't ask a guy who he's known for 35 years if he wants a blonde or brunette woman.

  There's ways you can talk to a friend about things aren't there? You don't have to just ask, "hey, you ever been with a woman?"