Old People Stories

• Ironman92

  

  Maybe a few too many "cool story bros"....but let's hear some
  
  
  I have 2....one is kinda typical and one is hard to top
  
  When I was younger my great grandmother and I were in the checkout line at Big Bear.......all of a sudden Grandpa hit the accelerator instead of the brake and drove his 1974 burnt orange Maverick into the grocery store via the gigantic front window.
  
  Next story......about a dozen years ago my then 73ish year old grandmother took one of those AAA old people tours and they went for 6 days up the Eastern coast stopping in many different cities for hours at a time. Upon returning grandma had her pictures developed and then kept them in the envelope the developer gave her. We went up to visit her and saw the picture envelope. She said we can look at them but they weren't developed correctly or she had bad film or something....lol We opened it up and starting looking through the 2 dozen pictures and they were all just black pictures with a little ball of color in the middle with some white around it. After about 8 pictures and many perplexed looks we finally figured out that she had her camera backwards!!! So basically she had pitcures of her eye in Philadelphia, Dover, Hartford, Boston and many other cities.....EXCEPT for one picture of the 24 she did have a nice colored picture of what appeared to be a very close up view of a telephone pole????...but after a moment we decided she just had the camera strap over the camera lense while she took it. lol
• Commander of Awesome

  

  i lol'd at the thought of a Gma taking pics with the camera backwards.
• Fab1b

  

  An old man came into my girls store while I happened to be there and came up to her asking where they keep the KY at. Now this guy had to be at least 70+. We both got an odd look on our face but she took him over to where it was and walked away. Now we both just assumed that he was buying a tube of KY to use not for any sexual purposes but like vaseline, chap stick, whatever. No, he comes back with one of the love kits, with like the his and her oils and feathers, ect...and checks out. We laughed all day. Never seen that old man again though, hope he enjoyed his night!
• power i

  

  My Mom's phone was ringing and she was trying to answer the tv remote. We stopped at a garage sale and no one was outside. So she walks up to the garage door and thinking she's ringing the doorbell, hits the garage door opener. About 5 or six times. My sister and I were laughing too hard to tell her to stop and the door just kept going up and down. Pretty funny.
• Ironman92

  

  Commander of Awesome;848438 wrote:i lol'd at the thought of a Gma taking pics with the camera backwards.

  in about a dozen different cities! In her defense the camera was almost identical on both sides and really about the only way to tell was that the picture button was on the right side.....as in most things are made for righties.
• Heretic

  

  Fab1b;848439 wrote:An old man came into my girls store while I happened to be there and came up to her asking where they keep the KY at. Now this guy had to be at least 70+. We both got an odd look on our face but she took him over to where it was and walked away. Now we both just assumed that he was buying a tube of KY to use not for any sexual purposes but like vaseline, chap stick, whatever. No, he comes back with one of the love kits, with like the his and her oils and feathers, ect...and checks out. We laughed all day. Never seen that old man again though, hope he enjoyed his night!

  
  Probably died of a heart attack overexerting himself while playing the role of sugar daddy.
• Mr Miyagi

  

  Miyagi's grandpa used to say " Miyagi....... i'm going upstairs to fuck your grandma." He was a real honest dude.
• Quint

  

  My grandpa had some renters who left without cleaning up after themselves. Basically, there was enough trash and garbage in the house to fill an entire dump truck. . . So that's exactly what my grandpa did. Then he found out their new address, in downtown Chillicothe, OH, and he dumped it on their front yard. He was arrested and charged with littering. I wasn't there, but I'm told the Judge had a pretty good laugh before sentencing him to pay a $250 fine.
• Rider_In_Ttown

  

  My uncle told me a story about my grandpa and the day my uncle was old enough to drink. My grandpa died 25 years ago. My uncle said they were dinking heavily and my grandpa said man look at that chick at the bar. My uncle said she is hot, but she is with a guy. My grandpa said go hit on her. My uncle said no, her bf will kick my ass. My grandpa said either he kicks your ass or I will kick your ass go hit on her. My uncle decided to try his luck with the girl. He went over and started hiting on her. He said the boyfriend got up like he was going to hit him, but before he could, my grandfather came over the top and knocked the guy out.
• Rider_In_Ttown

  

  Another story I have happened on my dads side. It was sad, but at the same time funny. My grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack and my grandmother had been battling altzeiners for years. We went to my grandfathers viewing and my grandmother was bawling her eyes out the whole time. We left as a family to go get something to eat. We are all at a nice restaurant and my grandmother starts asking where my grandfather was, she had already forgot. She starts saying where the hell is George? Just like that son of a bitch to skip out on a nice family get together. Where the hell is he at. Then she started going on about how he might be with some other lady that lived in the neighborhood and that she always wondered about them. Pretty crazy day, one moment you are at your grandfathers viewing the next you are hearing your grandmother accusing him of cheating to the whole family. I hope I go out like my grandfather, very quick. My grandmother lasted for years and probably the last five years she didn't even know who my dad was. She came over from Slovakia and spoke English for 50 years, but the last five years or so she reverted back to her childhood and only spoke Slovack. Nobody knew what she was saying.
• bigkahuna

  Rider_In_Ttown;849307 wrote:My uncle told me a story about my grandpa and the day my uncle was old enough to drink. My grandpa died 25 years ago. My uncle said they were dinking heavily and my grandpa said man look at that chick at the bar. My uncle said she is hot, but she is with a guy. My grandpa said go hit on her. My uncle said no, her bf will kick my ass. My grandpa said either he kicks your ass or I will kick your ass go hit on her. My uncle decided to try his luck with the girl. He went over and started hiting on her. He said the boyfriend got up like he was going to hit him, but before he could, my grandfather came over the top and knocked the guy out.

  
  Awesome.
• Rider_In_Ttown

  

  bigkahuna;849315 wrote:Awesome.

  Thats good old St. Marys for ya Kahuna.
• Tiernan

  Granpa & Granma ran a boat rental on Dona Bay in FL back in the 60s & 70s. One day these two young punks pay for a 4 hr rental but don't bring the boat back for like 9 hrs and try to tell my Granpa he can stick it on the extra time rental. As these two are heading to their truck Granma comes around the side of the office with her DB shotgun, the two a-holes start laughing and get in the truck anyway. Granma unloads one barrel into the rear tire and tells them the next one goes thru the Driver side window. So now the two get out of the truck and tell her they don't have enough money to pay the difference. She holds the gun on them and tells them they can pay or wait for the Sheriff. They pay and then ask Granpa if they can borrow a jack to change their tire because they don't have one. I was about 10 when this happened and its still one of my favorite memories of my Grandparents.
• Ironman92

  

  Yeah.....old people don't give a shit.
• ernest_t_bass

  

  Tiernan;849510 wrote:Granpa & Granma ran a boat rental on Dona Bay in FL back in the 60s & 70s. One day these two young punks pay for a 4 hr rental but don't bring the boat back for like 9 hrs and try to tell my Granpa he can stick it on the extra time rental. As these two are heading to their truck Granma comes around the side of the office with her DB shotgun, the two a-holes start laughing and get in the truck anyway. Granma unloads one barrel into the rear tire and tells them the next one goes thru the Driver side window. So now the two get out of the truck and tell her they don't have enough money to pay the difference. She holds the gun on them and tells them they can pay or wait for the Sheriff. They pay and then ask Granpa if they can borrow a jack to change their tire because they don't have one. I was about 10 when this happened and its still one of my favorite memories of my Grandparents.

  
  That is freaking awesome.