Non Serious State of the Union Thread

• cbus4life

  Two huge speeches today:
  
  Steve Jobs makes annoucement introducing the iTablet.
  
  Obama gives the State of the Union.
  
  Which one have you been looking forward to more?
• Little Danny

  

  Obama State of the Union drinking game
  Wednesday 01-27-2010 11:50am ET
  Could be a fun way to watch the speech tonight:
  
  As the nation eagerly awaits the first official State of the Union address from our earliest lame duck president, I suggest you visit your local liquor store and stock up so you can play The Official Obama State of the Union Drinking Game. The rules are as follows:
  
  1) If Vice President Joe Biden is in attendance: Drink a domestic beer in honor of “Nobody Messes With” Joe Sixpack.
  
  2) If Vice President Joe Biden is in attendance and was actually invited: Drink the entire six pack.
  
  3) If Nancy Pelosi jumps up clapping like she is engaged in calisthenics like Obama’s first address: Drink an appletini in honor of her beloved San Francisco.
  
  4) For every time President Obama says, “Let me be clear,” take a shot of Everclear. (You can alternate between shots of Everclear and water if you want to make it through the entire speech. But why would you?)
  
  5) If, during Obama’s discussion of health care, a member of the Congressional Progressive Caucus jumps up and yells, “You lie!,” drink a Mint Julep* in honor of South Carolina congressman Joe Wilson and take a shot of Finlandia vodka in honor of Finland where they have publicly funded health care.
  
  6) Every time President Obama mentions deficit reduction, fiscal responsibility, a spending freeze, or any other variation, drink an entire bottle of Everclear. Sure you won’t remember what Obama said in the morning, but neither will he.
  
  7) For every mention of predecessors, or previous administrations, or inherited messes, please drink a non-alcoholic beer in honor of former President George W. Bush.
  
  8) For every use of a straw man argument by President Obama drink a strawberry daiquiri.
  
  9) For every either/or fallacy used by President Obama, you must either drink a martini or be a teetotaler.
  
  10) Every time President Obama attacks banks, corporations, Wall Street, or greed in general, drink some bathtub gin because that’s all you will be able to afford by the end of the week.
  
  11) For every mention of the memory of the late Sen. Ted Kennedy, drink a Chivas and soda. But afterward, don’t get in your car and drive over a bridge. Or try to sandwich a waitress with Sen. Chris Dodd.
  
  12) For every use of the word “I” by President Obama, I suggest you take a brief respite from drinking to avoid alcohol poisoning.
  
  Cheers!
• cbus4life

  Thanks for making this a poll, LJ.
  
  This came up in a work meeting today, the responses from co-workers were decidedly in favor of the iTablet.
• Writerbuckeye

  

  Love the drinking game piece. If that's original: well done!
  
  I have the perfect way to watch this speech -- don't.
  
  It's much less painful (and annoying) to simply read the highlights, or the entire text if you're up to it, the next day.
  
  I did this for 8 years with Bush, and I find it's even a more sound strategy now.
• cbus4life

  I won't be watching, haven't watched for as long as i can remember.
• ts1227

  

  Writerbuckeye wrote: It's much less painful (and annoying) to simply read the highlights, or the entire text if you're up to it, the next day.
  
  I did this for 8 years with Bush, and I find it's even a more sound strategy now.

  Truer words have never been spoken. Solid non-partisan advice!
• believer

  

  Writerbuckeye wrote:I have the perfect way to watch this speech -- don't.
  
  It's much less painful (and annoying) to simply read the highlights, or the entire text if you're up to it, the next day.
  
  I did this for 8 years with Bush, and I find it's even a more sound strategy now.

  That's sound strategery.
• jmog

  I will also be catching the highlights as well.
• Apple

  

  looks like I'm getting drunk tonight...
• Little Danny

  

  I was trashed within 10 minutes tonight. Nancy Pelosi keeps jumping around like a school girl. Oddly enough her face never moves..... damn, that botox is good stuff.
• Cleveland Buck

  

  Why watch when 1) you know beforehand what he is going to say, and 2) he will never even try to do half of what he says or he will do the opposite?
• dwccrew

  

  Little Danny- I like the drinking game idea, but damn man, you'll kill someone with the amounts of alcohol you suggest!!!
• captain_obvious

  Looked forward to the Itablet speech by Jobs... because I don't care about the Itablet. I unfortunately care about the State of the Union... so I dreaded the speech.