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The Coyote Principle

  • FatHobbit
    [INDENT]The Coyote Principle

    California:
    The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a
    nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites
    the Governor.

    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
    "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is
    only doing what is natural.

    2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote
    and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for
    relocating it.

    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
    bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

    4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting
    checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

    5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish &
    Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now
    free of dangerous animals.

    6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
    "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

    7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to
    better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease
    throughout the world.

    8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
    attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent
    with additional special training on "The Nature Of Coyotes."

    9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million
    suit against the State.


    TEXAS :
    The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
    trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol
    and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
    point cartridge.

    2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.

    [/INDENT]
  • Devils Advocate
    TEXAS :
    The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
    trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol
    and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
    point cartridge.

    2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    3. The Texas governor claims that he was saved by God's grace.

    4. The Texas governor has a press conference to refute the claim that his dog has rabies and that his dog just drools kind of frothy.

    5. Texas coyotes must now carry a green card or proof of citizenship, or be shot on site.;)
  • HitsRus
    ^^^^I still take Texas.
  • believer
    HitsRus;1421638 wrote:^^^^I still take Texas.
    without a doubt
  • QuakerOats
    Any sane person would take Texas. It is when you stop 'doing common sense', that you begin doing BIG government.
  • WebFire
    I fucking hate California. We have an office there. I fucking hate California.
  • fish82
    HitsRus;1421638 wrote:^^^^I still take Texas.
    Yup.
  • Zombaypirate
    crap and I thought Texas had a surplus http://amarillo.com/news/latest-news/2013-02-05/texas-lawmakers-face-5-billion-budget-deficit Looks like a few steps were left out of the dreamers OP.
  • gut
    So someone threw a rock thru my window the other day. My Repub Representative immediately promised me a tax credit for putting bars on my windows. My liberal Senator promised to pass legislation banning rocks.
  • Zombaypirate
    gut;1422474 wrote:So someone threw a rock thru my window the other day. My Repub Representative immediately promised me a tax credit for putting bars on my windows. My liberal Senator promised to pass legislation banning rocks.
    polarization complete!!!!!!!!!
  • HitsRus
    ^^^I'll take the tax credit.
  • O-Trap
    gut;1422474 wrote:So someone threw a rock thru my window the other day. My Repub Representative immediately promised me a tax credit for putting bars on my windows. My liberal Senator promised to pass legislation banning rocks.
    lol'd. Well-played.

    The liberal Senator wastes time we're paying for to write and present a bill that won't keep rocks out of the hands of those who wish to use them maliciously.

    The Repub Representative gives the tax credit with no plan to try to lower spending to counter-balance that credit, contributing to the country going further into debt.

    Both are knuckleheads.
  • gut
    O-Trap;1423207 wrote:lol'd. Well-played.
    You left out the part where bars won't prevent rocks from flying thru your window.
  • O-Trap
    gut;1423225 wrote:You left out the part where bars won't prevent rocks from flying thru your window.
    Maybe if the rocks are big enough ... or if you have enough bars to put them close together ...

    Hell, I don't know.

    Reminds me of a Lewis Black clip:

    [video=youtube;kqfDqDB8uzE][/video]
  • Glory Days
    WebFire;1422137 wrote:I fucking hate California. We have an office there. I fucking hate California.
    I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.
  • Zombaypirate
    Glory Days;1423263 wrote:I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.
    but you moved there, why? Were there no jobs elsewhere?
  • O-Trap
    Glory Days;1423263 wrote:I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.

    They transfer policy officers out of state?
  • hasbeen
    O-Trap;1424659 wrote:They transfer policy officers out of state?

    California is where all the bad ones go to assault citizens.
  • O-Trap
    hasbeen;1424726 wrote:California is where all the bad ones go to assault citizens.

    Easy. I've got an uncle who is a member of the LAPD. ;)
  • QuakerOats
    Glory Days;1423263 wrote:I just moved to Cali for work. Dont even get me started on how stupid this state is.

    You have my condolences.
  • hasbeen
    O-Trap;1424756 wrote:Easy. I've got an uncle who is a member of the LAPD. ;)
    For now, at least. :laugh:
  • Glory Days
    Zombaypirate;1424604 wrote:but you moved there, why? Were there no jobs elsewhere?
    I work on the national level now. on the list of places i could live, weather, things to do and places to travel to were at the top of my list. it beat living on the border or in minnesota etc in those categories.
  • O-Trap
    Glory Days;1425112 wrote:I work on the national level now. on the list of places i could live, weather, things to do and places to travel to were at the top of my list. it beat living on the border or in minnesota etc in those categories.
    I'm guessing Minnesota would have been more peaceful.
  • Glory Days
    O-Trap;1425127 wrote:I'm guessing Minnesota would have been more peaceful.
    maybe for 2 months a year. after living for a few years without snow, i enjoyed it!