History

• QuakerOats

  So we all get off on the right foot here at freehuddle, we should start with some basic history ---- here goes:
  
  Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
  
  The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
  
  1 . Liberals, and
  2. Conservatives.
  
  Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
  
  Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
  
  Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
  
  Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. Those became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
  
  Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
  
  Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
  
  Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living..
  
  Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
  
  Here ends today's lesson in world history:
  
  It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
  
  A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.
  
  And there you have it.
  
  Let your next action reveal your true nature.
• Footwedge

  Some people excel at writing fiction based on their preconcieved notions on how man evolved.
• majorspark

  

  LOL. Execept I love sushi with couple of Sapporo's.
• PremithiumX

  I consider myself a centrist, but I'll just say... I'd rather have a Guinness than some watery piss with Light or Lite at the end of it. Really, what's more manly a stout that's a black as night or some Busch?
  
  Also, I LOLed
• believer

  

  Great history lesson Quaker but how do you explain Libertarians in that mix?
  
  Wait...I know. Libertarians migrated from Canada. They act and look like conservative Americans but think like liberal Europeans!
• Gobuckeyes1

  So where did you find that? I get BS email forwards like that from my conservative friends all of the time.
  
  On a lighter note, if you boys want to drink "domestic" beers like Bud and Miller (Bud is not domestic anymore, btw) have at it. If I'm drinking domestic, I'm having one of my own home brews, a Sam Adams, or a Great Lakes.
  
  Other than that, the original post is just a bunch of generalizing bullshit, so I will laugh and move on. And before I get labeled one, I am a centrist that leans left...I am certainly not a hard core liberal.
• dwccrew

  

  Sorry, but sushi is the shiznet and I am not close to being a liberal.
• PremithiumX

  Go Bucks: Try Sierra Nevada sometime if you haven't already... it's some good stuff. Also, I'd argue that Bud is still domestic because it's still brewed in the US, it just happens that the people that own all the brewing equipment are some sort of multicontinent corporation.
• fish82

  

  Greetings!
  
  Daddy's home.
• stlouiedipalma

  The Oats man is at it again. Great post, Quaker!
• Al Capone

  Quaker is right on!
• CenterBHSFan

  

  Wow! Nice to see some folks over here!!!
  
  Derek
  Foot
  Fish
  Louie
  
  It's on!!!
• wizecracker

  Good stuff OP.
• Footwedge

  believer wrote: Great history lesson Quaker but how do you explain Libertarians in that mix?
  
  Wait...I know. Libertarians migrated from Canada. They act and look like conservative Americans but think like liberal Europeans!

  Believer...if you are into golf....you have to play Toftrees. A little pricey, but well worth it. This time of year....probably half price.
  
  I used to take out the maintenance top doggies at "the Pennsylvania State University" on my company dime.
  
  And if you do....you better hit it straight...not a whole lot of forgiveness there.
  
  And remember...you can only use your footwedge once a round.
• believer

  

  ^^^I haven't played it but the course is just a few miles from my house...drive by it every day to work but I prefer the cheaper courses!
  
  Personally I prefer Mulligans to footwedges! LOL
• Cleveland Buck

  

  Looks like the gang's all here. Except for Chud. I bet he's disgusting some poor idiot right now over there.
• Bigdogg

  Are we going to get an ignore feature again? Real men don't eat yellow snow or drink yellow beer.
• CenterBHSFan

  

  Bigdogg, we have one already. You can find it when you hit the "User CP" button.
• dwccrew

  

  Cleveland Buck wrote: Looks like the gang's all here. Except for Chud. I bet he's disgusting some poor idiot right now over there.

  Feeble mind on the inferior site.
• fish82

  

  Someone get that flaky purple_jacket guy over here. He was fun!
• HitsRus

  

  yeah, he understands 'free' when it comes to money. He doesn't understand it when it applies to politics, liberty and government.
• Footwedge

  fish82 wrote: Someone get that flaky purple_jacket guy over here. He was fun!

  There was nothing wrong with Purple Jacket. We also need to issue a search warrant for BMan and Otrap.
  
  The Ron Paulistas need to continue the educatiion process of the masses.
• Cleveland Buck

  

  Otrap is registered here I think. As for bman, I sent him 2 PMs and never got a response.
• QuakerOats

  stlouiedipalma wrote: The Oats man is at it again. Great post, Quaker!

  Hope you're doing well -- still south of the equator ?
• cbus4life

  Cool post.